This relationship is impossible
How do you expect us to maintain our love if we hardly speak
Especially since we live across the world from each other
I'm always the one to drop what I'm doing
I do it to take advantage of the small window of time that we are given
Considering the fact that there is a significant time difference between us
You go throughout your day easily ignoring me
How is your love and devotion real when you don't get upset by not talking to me
Nothing you say makes sense because it doesn't match your actions
You've proven nothing to me
All you have proven is that you do things with thoughts of your own self interest
All you have proven is that you are selfish
All you have proven is that you are a liar
I make effort after effort
I think about you, I dream about you
I talk to you, I long for you
I attend to you, I shower you with affection
I'm through with the days that are filled with me waiting around for you
I'm through with the impending doubt that I feel on a daily basis
I'm through with your inconsequential "I love you" that you repeat to me whenever things get bad
I'm through with your guilt trips that reel me back in whenever I try to leave
By the way you act, I mean close to nothing to you
From now on, I'll attempt to train myself to get over you
So that eventually, you'll mean nothing to me too

The day we meet
The day I meet you in the flesh
The day my life begins

My heart breaks and rips as I convey the deep feelings I have for you on paper

The love letters that I write seem to be meaningless seeing as though this love is one sided

My stomach is sick and my cheeks are stained red from these moments of anguish where I let you go

Our relationship doesn't make me happy, it only makes me angry and sad, dissatisfied and unfulfilled

We barely speak, we barely connect, our relationship is impossible to maintain due to a lack of sacrifices being made

You seem uninterested and treat me as if I'm an afterthought in your mind, while you consume my every moment

Continuing down this path will only breakdown my heart further into the space of emptiness that it seems to be

These love letters are tear stained as the droplets fall with every written word, I wanted it so badly to be real

I miss you every second and I long for you passionately, wanting to know you and be with you all the days through

But we will never be because what I see in front of me is someone who cannot love me the way that I love them

I'm sick of crying over you, I'm sick of expending all my energy on you, because by the end of the day, I am only depleted of my love, lacking affection and attention from you

The truth may hurt
But the good that comes out of it
Trumps all pain
Bring it on, I'm ready for it
As long as it clears up the mess in my head
The unanswered questions
And the confusing lies
Will all be resolved with the truth in time
Certitude will help me to heal
All the ideas that I thought were real

It's impossible to hide from me
You can never escape me
You led yourself to this place
You filled yourself with doubt and hate
It's time for you to face the consequences
Step up to the plate and pay the expenses
What you did was wrong but forgivable
Why you still choose to live this way is pitiful
Don't you want to go by your real name
Stop living your life with embarrassment and shame
Maybe coming clean will rid you of your sorrow
Help you wake up every morning and look forward to tomorrow
But don't try and hide from me
I'll be watching you forever, you see
I'm waiting for the day you finally drop the act
Then everyone will see the truth and have to adapt

I want you around for now, forever
I believe that we can make it through together
I know we've had our ups and downs
And that it seems impossible right now
But I know that we can make a change
Live it through to the better days
You've been in my life for so long
I don't want to see our relationship go wrong
I appreciate you in so many ways
And if I have to, I will certainly wait
Our love is strong and even if we part
It will never die, it'll stay in our hearts
I'll always care for you as my very close friend
I'll look at you with love all the way to the end

I never understood why people said ignorance is bliss
Why would someone want to live in the unknown
Wouldn't they rather know the truth
But now that you've waltzed into my life
I'm beginning to understand why it is blissful to be ignorant
It feels good when you tell me how I'm the one
It feels good when you tell me that you're in love with me
That I'm all you want and dream of
You tell me you want to kiss me
And indulge in fun things all romantic relationships entail
It feels great when you assure me that we can make it
That you're over your past lovers
And purely focused on me
It's blissful believing all that is true
But now that I know the real you
I've seen your words and witnessed your lies
And now that I know it I can't help but start to despise
How easily you made me fall in love with you
And how easily you led me to believe that all of it was true
I hate myself for allowing you to
You use me to fill the void that someone else left
And now all I feel is just so much regret
I wish I could go back and blissfully ignore
The fact that you love him and he's the one you adore
I know I don't mean anything in the games that you play
I really just want you to go away
You hurt my heart, break it piece by piece
I don't want to talk to you anymore
Because all of this, I can't ignore
I'm in hell, though I wish I were not
Ignorance is bliss
And believing in you was such a foolish thought

Him

He led you on
He let you down
He lied to you
He made you feel small
He used you
He was blind to your feelings
He showed no care
He had no interest in you
He didn't love you
He didn't want you

Me*

I think about you all day
I go out of my way to be nice to you
I spend all my resources trying to make you happy
I care so much about your well being
I want you to be safe
I wish for your happiness
I'm totally invested in you
I like everything about you
From the way you think to the way you look
I never ignore you
I'd never give up on you
I love you

But you still prefer him
And you lie to me about it
I can't trust you anymore

You say you love me more
You always doubt my want and need for you
But when a day goes by
Where we can't be with each other
And we don't speak much
It breaks me down
Depresses me
Until the next moment I'm with you
Because that's when I feel security
You're the light in my life
Without you it's dark
You're the pillow I rest my head on
In the middle of the night
Your voice and your touch
Soothes me and stops time
The lonely days make me short of breath
I hate it when you're not by my side
I simply can't live without you
Yet you always question this love of mine
I wish you'd understand
I wish you would believe me
You're everything I want
You're all that matters to me

My ex-boyfriend is smart
He can talk about anything
He teaches me things
He's enlightening
And he sparks my interest in worldly topics
I wouldn't otherwise think about

My ex-boyfriend is kind
He's understanding
He's sensitive
He's supportive
And he comforts me in ways
Others really can't

My ex-boyfriend is easy to look at
He has nice hair
He has a cute face
He has sweet eyes
And a sincere smile
That makes you want to smile back

Nowadays, on the rare occasions
He and I get to hang out
I find myself questioning
Why it is I left him in the first place

Can't you see
That without you
I am empty
A day without you
Is like a year without rain
A terrible drought
Feeling nothing but pain
It's harder to breathe
When you're not around
I wish you would realize
That without you I'm down
You lift my spirits
You take me higher
I want you forever
You're all I desire
Don't let me go
And give me a chance
I was made for you
To give you this romance
See me for who I truly am
And never stop loving me
Let's come together
And embark on this journey

I like how by just seeing his face
It makes me smile
I love how he makes me forget
How insecure I am
His outpouring of love fills my heart
Healing me of the negativity
Making it easier to wake up every morning
He gives me life
He makes me shine
I wish to thank him in all ways
And do for him the same

There's a girl in my head
I can't get her out
She's the only one
I've ever thought about

I want to know how she is
What she does in her spare time
I want to know how she talks
If her voice is anything like mine

I want to feel her lips
And wrap my arms around her
She's so worthy of love
I bet she tastes like sugar

The worst part of this all
Is that she is a stranger
I'll probably never know her
And that fills me up with anger

But mainly it tears me up
It really breaks my heart
Because I'm so passionate about her
And we'll always be apart

Graduating college
Such a large accomplishment
That's what they all say
He has a job lined up
She's had an internship
Full of experience
I, on the other hand,
Am just me
What do I have
Other than my brain
Other than my grades
Sure, I've lived life
But while everybody seems to have a plan
And seems to be moving in the right direction
I keep moving further into the ground
Isolated and lost
Unable to move
Trapped under the dirt that is
My mind, my insecurities, my confusion