A mother of two
When you arrived I already knew
I would not meet you face to face on this earths crust
Only after my body has been turned to dust
I do not know if you were a boy or a girl
If your hair would be straight or if it would curl
I knew that you were real and very much alive
With every morning sickness that made me want to die
You lived for an estimated 7 weeks
But I only knew you for one
I cried like I never have
More than when I lost my own dad
I begged for forgiveness to my heavenly Father
For killing my son or my daughter
For ripping your seed out of its soil
A seed I knew Id spoil
I cried in my bed with my head in my pillow
I had cried more than a weeping willow
I was asleep when you had exited my womb
Waking up in the recovery room
I was barely awake, still sedated
No longer on this earth, myself I hated
Not wanting be in that clinic, forcing myself up I stumbled out
Driving home all I did was shout
Screaming, crying, the feeling of dying
Vomiting on my front door
Feeling my empty womb to its core
You were gone, no more
I can never bring you back or say sorry enough
Doing what it did wasnt easy but tough
I didnt do it because I wouldnt love you
Only because I already had two
What I did was wrong and I know I am a sinner
You were sent to the womb of a killer


*For those of you who read my poem "I am a Killer", this is what I was talking about. I wasnt ready to share it completely.

poetry is heart speaking
her deepest wisdom
or lightest whimsy
traditional form or free verse
let souls sing
sprinkle metaphor and simile
if you are a poet, write like one
words are music
let them breeze like a melody
color with mix-matched sensory
don’t stay inside the lines
see sounds with eyes closed
hear flickering of fireflies’ light
smell beauty in distant mountains
taste majesty of flowers’ bloom
touch forgiveness
bring personification to life
“she” is much sweeter than “it”
and a seat cushion may have a roundness to her
throw in some high speech
make someone grab a lexicon
delete those extra words
‘I’s and ‘the’s especially
alliteration can create cacophonic chorus
while similar sounds of assonance
tie hoards and scores of words together
although there are no rules
try your best to use poetry’s tools
with this above all else:
let your truth ring
let your insights and revelations
be a healing to self and reader
let experiences resonate in hearts
and harmonize voices

but how?

do we measure
                          point C?
                      to
                            spot G?