A mother of two
When you arrived I already knew
I would not meet you face to face on this earths crust
Only after my body has been turned to dust
I do not know if you were a boy or a girl
If your hair would be straight or if it would curl
I knew that you were real and very much alive
With every morning sickness that made me want to die
You lived for an estimated 7 weeks
But I only knew you for one
I cried like I never have
More than when I lost my own dad
I begged for forgiveness to my heavenly Father
For killing my son or my daughter
For ripping your seed out of its soil
A seed I knew Id spoil
I cried in my bed with my head in my pillow
I had cried more than a weeping willow
I was asleep when you had exited my womb
Waking up in the recovery room
I was barely awake, still sedated
No longer on this earth, myself I hated
Not wanting be in that clinic, forcing myself up I stumbled out
Driving home all I did was shout
Screaming, crying, the feeling of dying
Vomiting on my front door
Feeling my empty womb to its core
You were gone, no more
I can never bring you back or say sorry enough
Doing what it did wasnt easy but tough
I didnt do it because I wouldnt love you
Only because I already had two
What I did was wrong and I know I am a sinner
You were sent to the womb of a killer


*For those of you who read my poem "I am a Killer", this is what I was talking about. I wasnt ready to share it completely.