I cannot find you anywhere
Not behind heavy-lidded eyes
Nor underneath those covers 
We used to share, do you remember? 
I cannot find you, though I search
Trust me, I search high and low and near and far but you--
You remain a mystery, an abandoned house sitting
Among fields of wildflowers
Boarded up, roof caved in 
Creeping moss along cracks, ivy climbing up your 
Cold, concrete cast.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul
But you've pulled the blinds shut
Padlocked, hammered like
Every single Friday night 

I cannot find you anywhere 
Not among the stars in the skies
Nor in the dreams I used to discover
With only you and the cold air of December.
As it stormed, the leaves on the birch 
Fell like snowflakes, like the doves on our tattoos--
We were one, but now we are two two twoanditstings
It stings that I can't climb this tower
To rescue you. We can begin again! 
But you slipped like shadows out of this door (our door)
A missing person broadcast
And suddenly I am a boat without an oar
I am human but you are the eye of a storm and my heart!
It reels me in for the strike.
I don't fight