I want to be the ghost
That haunts your every move
Each car that passes too quickly
Every song thats meant to soothe
Reminding you of the way I sang it when we drove for ten hours straight like we were gods

I want to be the apparition
In the corner of your eye
The laugh on the other side of the room
Who you want to comfort you each time you cry
Thats always out of grasp just like breath was over spring break when all we could speak was in nods

I want to be the hallucination
Every time you go to sleep
In the same way you haunt every day and night I'm awake
I want you to tiptoe around your memories the way I creep
But really I just want to know you hurt the way I do, even though in the end it was my fault you no longer respond

Is it selfish
That I miss your secrets, your loudness
The way I knew everything
Or I thought I did

Is it selfish
That I miss being the one, you turned to when a mess
Laughing the loudest with
Because there was nothing we hid

Is it selfish
That I miss every **** thing, every habit
Each small moment
Like we were all eachother had

Is it selfish
That I miss calling you mine, the only one who could have it
A world as perfect as you
Even though in the end I made you sad

In the distance I can hear fireworks
Explosions of color
Echoing something new
No fear but excitement and wonder

I'm tired now
Of the blandness in each day
Or the color that fades too quickly
Never staying like they say

I miss the brightness of your sun
Though I said I'd stop missing you
There hasn't been a day I didn't picture us
Near again like we could be something new

My bra's don't fit right
anymore
My hair is too long and too short
I don't know what I keep it for
My eyes are tired at the sight
but sleep seems impossible

My lips are cracked
the skin is dry
My fingernails are peeling
the feeling is unnerving
My body feels too big like I lacked
the right to be myself

My ego is too big
for the self-esteem I posses
My friendships I've kept
don't seem to last
My hole I continuously dig
has been filled at last

Jumping
We're jumping
and dancing in circles
the music
is blasting
We're jumping
and jumping
and dancing in circles

Text me
Text me
Text me
Text me
Text me
Text me
Text me
Text me

And then you never will
Because I'm holding on
While you seem
To have already to go

I dance rings of fire
I am a horrendous liar
I sit silently on my own pyre
I made with my own to hands to a choir
Singing songs of my sinning and they ever tire

I burn the grass below my feet
I am strapped steadily to the seat
The lines are chaotic and precariously neat
Every line in the book are folded into a little pleat
I hold the key then I carelessly give it to everyone I meet

I am my own critic
I am my own faulty medic
I am the sweet burned in acidic
I am a selfish cry from the idiotic
I am the virtue in the word patriotic

I write poetry and pretend you will read it
Because I can't stand to leave my thoughts private
In reality I am just a girl with words to convince
That work on everyone but myself
Hoping this time they won't be pathetic