I thought about you yesterday.
my thought became completely black, and unpure.
i ******* hate you.
i hate the fact you took my innocence away.
i hate the fact you're all i can think about.
i hate the fact that i still cant sleep because the tears are keeping me awake.
i hate the fact i fell for you.
i hate the fact i loved you so much i would have given you anything and everything.
there was no limits, nothing would stop me from loving you.
but then you broke it, you ******* broke my chest into a million pieces.
i ******* hate everything you are now.
everything you've become.
*******.
i'm done.

Well sir !
Today we have, the usual, suicidal ******, paranoid drug addicts, skitzophrenic ******* that'll slice your neck open in a split second.
All the things you'd find in a mental institution.
Theres no place like home !
Walking these halls in my robe, and slippers.
You see darling, im not insane, they just think i am because well, im all of the above, ahahaha.
I didnt mean to **** that boy.
But ! He did say he loved me.
Who the **** would say that.
Filthy little liars.
He made it so ******* easy though.
But i did mean to **** him.
I didnt.
I did.
I didnt.
I did.
YOU'LL NEVER ******* KNOW.
There was this one day, they locked me up so tight, it left bruises on my ****** skin.
Oh **** !
Shh.
Shh.
Shh.
Do you hear that ?
What did the second one say ?
Well ******* too Elvis !
He wishes.
Ah, ****.
Scars are showing again.
Oooh,theres a mirror in this room.
smash.
''Nurse !, Lunas done it again !''
****** Luna they called me in school.
But i killed them too.
Anyway, i sat there with a broken piece of mirror in my hands and carved pretty little pictures into myself.
But, i needed stitches.
Yay the doctor !
He makes me feel good, inside.
Probably because he ***** me so hard it leaves me pleasure until the next time i break a mirror.
He's older.
42 to be exact.
Im 15.
Isnt it cute.
His wife doesnt know.
Or his daughter, i went to school with that dog.
She was the first one i got rid of.
Cheerio.

He moves so eligantly.
Gentley sliding her blood stained jeans to the floor.
He kisses her so softly, in places boys never kissed her before.
She closes her eyes to hide the fact shes falling, the harder, and the deeper he moves inside her, the harder and deeper she falls.
She hates her body, so she always tells him to switch of the lights.
Its better that way anyway, you can feel every slight brush of skin against another, every grasp seems to be more intence.
Shes waiting, waiting for you to give in.
So as soon as their all finished and done.
She can lay there, and completely hate herself.
Right until you come and hold her so tightly, so its almost as if his arms, make the scars fade away.
Dont leave her, please dont leave her.
She loves you.
Baby please dont go.

So i now realise that its 4:03 in the morning, and im not suffering in the slightest.
So many thoughts are racing through my head.
Maybe i shouldnt of drank that much.
Maybe i shouldnt of smoked that ****.
Im 15 for christs sakes.
If i was seeing other girls doing this idiotic ****, i'd be looking down of them so far, i'd be peering into their souls, and their excuses for doing the inhuman things they do.
I dont have an excuse.
I do things for the hell of it.
Simply because it blocks out all the jocks, indies, nerds, and everyone inbetween.
**** it, i'll run away.
Please run away with me.
****, i must be delusional.
It is 4:10 after all.

i love you.
i do, really.
i never cheated.
i couldnt.
not to you.
all those rumours.
they're killing me.

im sorry.
im so sorry.
sorry im a little insane.
a little secretive.
im sorry im so confusing.
im sorry im so completely ****** in the head.
i dont tell you most of the things that go on.
especially in my head.

im afraid.
i hope i've made it clear that i completely adore you.
i cant imaagine the rest of my life without you.

im sorry im tieing you down.
im sorry im not good enough.
we both know im not.
im sorry im not pretty, or funny like most of the other girls you could be chasing.
im sorry its me you have to love.
xoxo.