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 May 2012 Little Wing
bethany boy

i beg of you.
i need you

make me smile
make me laugh
make me never have the thought of the blade crossing my skin again and again
make me feel worthy
make me change
i need to stop...

but then when i get alone
and have my space with my mind
she begs me
she crys if i dont do it
she hates me
she abuses me if i dont

she runs and laughs;
when the pressure is pushed down
she slids down the slide;
when its dragged slowly along my flesh.

she loves me for it
she comforts me
she forgives me after for hesitating
she lets me know that everythings going to be better

but only if i have her.
 Apr 2012 Little Wing
She never said it'd be a clean break
because Her train has derailed again
and this time she made sure
you were crushed in the collision.
This is the end of everything,
She's made sure of that.
 Apr 2012 Little Wing
 Apr 2012 Little Wing
I am stupid
A nothing
A slave
But I break free from you
The window the diamond tip
Cracking in pieces
Reflect the sky
And rain flashing my shoulder
I stop
I listen
I look
Turning lifetimes between times I've known
Feeling a tangle of weeds at my throat
You bite and clawed until it let me go
Gouging out glass eyes
Million by million
In a silent hilltop
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell

Near the edge of hell
I felt your fingers about my feet
Pulling me from the darkness of a midnight dream
The dreamcatcher tore
The beads on my neck
Where each one touched me like a dagger Sharp
Leaving me scars
All torn apart but a tore a man apart because he started the fire
That killed my old and beautiful mother
Ask me not how a weak man can leave patterns on the sea of time
Someone whose words can cut with every broken glass
Someone who falls asleep dreaming of lost hands
Warm beds at sunset

What am I doing?
 Apr 2012 Little Wing
i miss you.

I wake
it's the terror
of a famished

Could I cry
a thousand

Could I have more

Could I learn to play the banjo
and finally
make a sound
 Mar 2012 Little Wing
Black girl
with eyes
like coals in snow.

Black girl with super-dark skin,
that just  

Black girl
with long
curly hair
littered with light.

Black girl
with lips like slices
of wet wings,
lips thin

Black girl
with hazelnut eyes
with a grey

Black girl that knows how to make
me so happy in the cold,
with her closet-full of words
that can make a ******
think of warm weather.

Together we meet
in the woods,
at the cabin front-steps
taking turns
each other's cheeks,
touching each other's
and I just want you to know
that there are no dreary
even when it is cold
and we have to hold
each other
to hold

Because we might just burst;
in a thousand limbs climbing like spiders.
 Mar 2012 Little Wing
Yeah, yeah your beautiful
And you smell like flowers but
She's all I think of

When you sit with me at sunset
And everything you say is perfectly scripted
As if your mouth was a t.v screen
Im not listening because I want to hear her sing

When we went to the fair
The lights were bright
You hugged my arm against the cool wind bite
But I can still feel her fingers between mine

When you try to act so smooth
Each date I have to scrape through
Looking in eyes that crack and crumble
You kiss him heavy as the thunder rumbles

She forgets about those oceans
Frozen solid
And how we laughed and slid
On the glassy surface
How you unfolded your blanket
How you folded your hands
How the sky was blue
How you smiled
How I fall asleep
With the wrong arms wrapped around me
Night after night
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