alcohol.
saves her, so she thinks.
truth is,
it makes her beat her childern.
throw them up against walls.
spit in their faces.
call them names.
scar their minds forever.
the bruises.
broken ribs.
shes pretty decent most of the time, days and nights.
I hate my mother.
not really, i hate the fact that she drinks.
but its alright, its only sometimes she gets that way.
oh well, two more years and im out of there.
love you mum.

i need get out.
im over this.
i cant hadle it.
muted angels.
raging demons.
they've taken over.
i cant control  anything anymore.
turning all the good hearts away.
being dragged down.
my souls rotten.
everythings a blur.
im just drifting by.
headphones in, makes everything seem like a movie.
like lifes got a soundtrack.
but its a lie.
everythings a lie.
the smiles, the smirks.
it felt so crystal.
i cant get out.
its consumed me.
those thoughts.
they're becoming reality.
let me out of my head.

My Madeline, my dear.
Forever was made inn the image of us.
I love you.
Your everything.
Sinners and saints.
Bad and good.
Were leaning more towards the worst side of things.
But it suits us.
We are each other.
Your me and im you.
No plain days.
No bordem.
Nothings ever dull.
But the truth is i hate you.
I hate you so much for being so much better then me.
At everything.
I love it though.
I love the fact i know i'll never live up to ever be as good as you.
I might be telling lies.
But i do love you.
Darling i love you.

Burn it.
Burn it all to the ground.
I hate it, burn it.
Burn it untill nothing's left.
Tourch it, burn it.
Set fire to it, burn it.
All these memories, burn them.
This is not a home, burn it.
Its not stable, burn it.
Dont make me stay here, burn it.
I dont need it, burn it.
Burn this ****** to the ground.
**** it, burn it.

Monsters.
They're everywhere.
Everytime i close my eyes, they're population increases.
Its you, your the one i see when my eyes are closed.
You're the monster.
You never used to be like this.
You used to be perfect and innocent.
But everything changed.
You've ****** me over.
And over
Im becoming like you.
Im being dragged into this black hole thats taken on the image of your heart.
Im a monster.
Im just like you.

I've had enough.
i cant take this anymore, everythings ******.
everyones staring, judging me because i've decided to dress different,
act different, be the person that i want to be.

**** them.
**** everyone,
but most of all *******.
eveyone can just get ******.

i dont need you, you sure as hell dont need me.
so lets just stay out of each others way.
i wont bother you if you dont bother me.
just leave me the **** alone.

she's smoking again.
shes trying to tear herself apart from the inside.
staring with her lungs, then she'll move on to her liver.
drownding herself in alcohol.
her brain is next, killing herself with all these thoughts
but her heart, you've already taken care of that.
you've already beaten, scared and bruised her.
you've already killed her.
you've alredy destroyed her.