The alcohol rains over my organs
The presence of regret is evident again
Numb.
The movement of your Adam's Apple
Hits the back of my neck like the first piano key
The look of your zealous eyes..
They shun gravity
They lift me off the ground
Faded.
I am so faded
I remember every element of you
But only once the bottle is empty

I didn't realize it would be this hard-
Going back to how things used to be
Who would've known 4 years could be erased with one fight
But the things you said..
Did you mean them?
Could you mean them?
How could you?
Whenever we talk now it feels contrived
But I'd like to get back to where we used to be
I hope I don't regret this.

The burning starts and I couldn't blink
I blow out the smoke I held in my lungs
It engulfs my face
The smoldering stops
And my body goes limp as I relax and wait.
Trying to leave the stress and worry I carry far far behind.
The opened window carries in cold air.
It takes over me and i don't remember my troubles.
I finally found my serenity.

How does it feel
To **** me each day
With your presence
When you are near
When I see you in his arms
I die a little inside
Knowing I could not be
The man you want
For the man I am
Is not the man you desire
And the man I long to be
Could not be the man you would want too

It's definitely not fair
Not fair I say
Not fair they say
And quoting The Script
"For when the heart breaks it don't break even
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces"

But not anymore
For I've decided to move on
And you'll remain a memory I have
And you will now be somebody I used to know
Now, no more strings attached
I'm going to be who I want to be
And not who you see me to be
So, here and now
All I'll say is
Goodbye
Just goodbye
For if I wish you well,
I would be lying
Though I no longer hate you
I can't bring myself to wish you luck
So, just goodbye
Goodbye

I'm scared
My past will always be there
It became a part of me now
For a moment, I could see the light
It was so bright I tried to reach it
I took few step forward and my hands were grasping to get it
But its too far and I can see it for miles
So I stood and stop trying
I looked at it and thought how beautiful that is
I was stunned by...
How magnificent that is.

A flickering candle.
A blinking observer of the blurred,
thrumming life that surrounds it.

Silken-haired girls and kittens gambol
on the thread-bare rug;
leaving brightly colored Trouble pieces in their wake.

It's countenance reads "Winter",
like a scent could ever capture
the long, arduous Minnesota cold.

A continuous clatter of feet,
chorused voices in debate,
a deserted pie crust on a cracked plate
and dog fur fiercely claiming the beloved sofa.

A flickering candle watches
as wisdom swirls in scotch glasses,
and serpentine coils of cigar smoke.

Trusting smiles and the adoration of a father
lighting the faces of sons--

           All witnessed by a flickering candle.

Circle, scribble, eight
words that do and don't
relate.
Just trying to keep
my pen and mind
moving, flowing,
don't know where
I'm going.
Writing squares, framed
around
the
page.
I wish my words
cast a spell,
but I am not a mage.

Just a writer,
let out of her cage.

Time to
ROAR!

Here I am driving
Alone sitting at the wheel
My life seems so good