In the dark in the room
Whistles faintly echo
Up to my room
"Who's in this house?"

And the dread settles in
A bag full of lead
I can't move
And for some reason
I think the whistling can see me in here

Skritch-scratch under the door
Total paralysis still -
Maybe, I shall pretend to snore?

Two red jewel eyes
Materialize
At the foot of this bed
This
Is absurd!
I can't even mouth a word!

Climbing ontop of me
The mare opens his jaws
To a dead TV channel
That sounds like bee-wings
Just about suffocated by fright

Then it all ends 
Hard heavy anvil feelings
And all I keep with me is the dread

Your name,
still stains my brain
like it had never been before,
you took me higher
but then again I touched the floors:
we have drifted away
(you were the one who decided),
and now, it is too late to be back
from those words you said.

Your lips,
still intertwine on my days
as you kissed goodbye,
it has been dreams faded ---
and lost with those myriad times;
you turned each night colder,
unbeknownst, and will never grow,
and chasing those memories,
somehow, is all that I can ever do.

Your eyes,
are still blinded,
that you could not see me through tears,
a broken heart from a broken smile,
and it will never be eased again;
you have thrown all the chances
far from usual things,
so what am I supposed to do
than to break down and cry?

And now,
you showed me the worst,
yet I will still miss you
throughout these lonely years,
I keep on bleeding,
keep on fixing these shattered pieces:
and I have no choice
but to accept every details found,
to understand everything
to be brave, then believe
and to chase those memories
by walking apart ---
apart from your grave.

What is it with this fatal attraction
For my soul that’s what it is
I have tried hard to ignore it
And not always give in

Erase you from my heart and mind
To be free from you at last
But every time you’re near
I simply have no chance

What is it about you
Keeps me wanting more
Your eyes mesmerize me
And pull me into your world

Your body makes my pulse race
I undress you with my eyes
I wish it were just physical
I’d have walked away by now

I love the way your mind works
Even if I don’t always understand
You make me think about things
That I never have before

The way you make me smile
And the way you make me laugh
Is just another of your facets
That keeps me coming back

I love the way you accept me
Like it’s ok to be myself
I let my guard down around you
And I take off my many masks

You seem to understand me
Even with all my many quirks
You even seem to tolerate me
When I’m acting like a *****

There’s so much more about you
That I just can’t find the words
To tell all the reasons
That you're driving me  berserk

That’s why I keep staring at you
With such passion in my eyes
You're my fatal attraction
And that I can’t deny.

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

Let me sit here
Alone
With my pen

Let me become
Consumed in my thoughts
So much so that
I don't here the "hello"
From the friendly fellow
Bicycling on the trail behind me

Let me boil in rage
Grasping onto anything
Trying to let it all seep out slowly
I'll manage
If you just let me

Let me lose my reality
So I can become anew
Empty slate
Free to coagulate
Become thick with hate

escape the fear,
escape the fate.
run with all your might,
but your already too late.
fall in love,
fall in hate.
it's up to you,
but moment won't wait.
go to heaven,
go to hell.
time stands still,
but only time can tell.
believe in yourself,
follow the crowd.
speak with your heart,
let it sing loud.

What happened to you?
Did your family never give you enough attention?
That you gave it up for a boy
who only came to solicite
your affections?

Can you not see
That she
who gave you air
and birth
struggles with the
daily idea of having you hurt?

I knew your mother
I knew her good
She never hurt you,
like other mothers would.

Being  a runaway
from a home of opresssion
and depression
where you are scared
is different

than running away
from your own reflection.

I don't know where
you are, who your with
or if your even truly that far.

But once you've given all you have
to give

He will leave
dead dying
in a ditch.

You'll be left to roam
in streets,
bar rooms,
shelters,
alleyways.

With the rats
the mice,
and wild men.

Do anything for a dime.
A Nickel.

'Please sir I'll make it worth your time.'

You still have time
Turn back now
Walk away
Don't Make a sound

The doors still open
Come Home Now.

When you give up what you believe in?
When you lose the last shred of your childhood?
When you let lust get in the way of finding love?
When you let one kiss go too far?
These questions.... Have no answer.
Innocence is neither obtained nor lost.
Because innocence is non-existent.
We are all pawns in this game called life.
No one being is pure.
We all have evil streaming within our blood.
Some... Spend their whole lives acting
as though innocence consumes their being
and the rest of us embrace out imperfections.
Realizing the innocence is unobtainable.
Innocence... Neither obtained, or lost.