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 Apr 2013 Lindsey Williams
NDHK
Lets
lay it all out here
shall we?

Because
I just have this
inexplicable urge
to unfold myself
for you.

I want to
ask you all kinds of
odd and intrusive
questions.  

I want to
climb inside and
pick apart  
everything
that makes you tick.

But,
at the same time
I anticipate
being surprised
by the things
I couldn't know
about you
yet.

I want to wind up
this thread
between us
and see why it's there
and how I can
keep it.

You make my
mind whirl
and my heart beat
so slowly,

Like it's waiting for you
to catch up.

Does this sound insane to you?

Because
I'm the one thinking
these things
and feeling...
Always feeling
when you are
around me.

I see you
guarded
and maybe yearning?

If I had
a white flag
to wave for you
I would.

Though
my insecurity of
being overwhelming and
intense,
keeps us both from
taking those
first steps
toward each other.



*© NDHK
I am cigarettes, chocolate & cotton
The things that melt, not what freezes,
I have no patience & I won’t spare your feelings,

My skin is a canvas, it’s never empty
Bruises in water color, blood in ink,
Grace in the day, destruction at night

Selfish, megalomaniac & narcissistic
Not a shred of sympathy but empathy that’s endless
I have spent my entire life trying to get out of my body

Live outside my mind at all times,
repression, displacement, denial : defense
my anger consumes me & i can't see why

I have spent the last decade puking
my sexuality is twisted & it’s always been about power
tug of war, to keep the upper hand & keep them down

In the mirror, I see myself at 2 years old,
singing & kissing my sister on the forehead
& then pushing her into Christmas trees

I am open, gentle, loving, creative & kind.
A picture of fragility & resilience
So blinded in the light of this life

Forgive but never forget
& such grudges kind of weigh me down
I’m just scared they’ll all do it again & I’ll be the Fool

My mother has only slept, ate, drank, spent her way through life
When I’m really strong, I’ll let her off for that but right now,
I just can’t

I have always wondered why I was not like the others
& then I decided I didn’t want to be
they are puddles & I am a lake:

I’d rather swim, & risk drowning
than never see the depths of my being
I love with my hands

with a warm embrace,
a light pat on the back,
high fives, fist bumps
two thumbs up

A heart may not be for loving.

I love with my feet

when I wait in line,
while window-shopping,
running away with you,
walking down the aisle

A heart may not be for loving.

I love with my eyes

that still weep
long after you're gone,
that have baggage
big enough to carry yours

A heart may not be for loving.

I love with my lungs

you               
             are
my                 
                 oxygen

A heart may not be for loving.

I love with my brain

the mind finds patterns, makes connections
you paint everything I see, hum every song I hear
you are every fragance, each succulent morsel
and in slumber, still I find you in my dreamscape

A heart may not be for loving.

A heart may not be for loving,
but without it I cannot think
I won't see what I touch
or where I'm going

And I won't remember to           breathe.
 Apr 2013 Lindsey Williams
Lisa V
My vocabulary is not large enough to contain you
To figure you out and narrow you down

I approach problems with a calculator in hand
To be precise in my answer

But you have no numbers or bounds
You are infinity

Too hard to wrap my head around
and something science cannot explain

There are infinite number of feelings that swell up inside me,
and an infinite number of words would be too few to describe you

Some people narrow these feelings down
and call it love

I would rather search through those millions of words
before settling on four small letters.
The problem with me is that I believe in souls.
A dangerous belief to say the least.
I feel as if I have lived this life a million times over
The pain is
so routine
so familiar
so real.
It is recognizable.
Quite.
I have been around a long time.
Though: I am not experienced.
Nor am I inexperienced.
I am not young. I am not grown. I am not old.
I never will be.
I am but a mere soul living in yet another tattered body.
A problem in itself.
But, if I am a soul I will exist forever.
And I am tired.
with life's first breath

the newly born

cries out in fear

for what could be


and at the end


with life's last breath

the dying man

goes out in fear

for what could be
Copyright Louis Brown
And so the cycle continues

her life is fixed as mine falls apart

it won't be long be fore we switch places...




again
People always say that diamonds are forever.
Well so are Mondays and so are stains,
And other things I'd name if I were more clever.
So I choose the rose to carry through the rains.
For what's more like love than something that dies,
And what's my love for you if not the act
Of washing out the vase and setting it to dry,
And then getting more -- yes, that's the pact --
For nothing's more like love than trying it again.
And today we'll kiss and tomorrow we'll cry,
But when we love again, well, it'll be a new rose then.
For this time you'll have set the vase out to dry,
And I will watch as you carefully make our bed,
And decide that I'd love to make it instead.
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