Shades of pink mixed with the shades of blue *

Shades of me mixed with shades of you *

You shaped what I am as I let you inside

My shades of blue .

I write this I write it for you *

Cause even though you shaped me . I'm not shaping you

but I am loving you

I am wanting you

I want that harmony of your pink shades mixed in my blue

I want those nice days mixed with my days that I wish to undo

I want you

but keeping up with you feels like I bit more than I can chew

I bit more than I can chew

I try to come up with words that will impress you
. . . . .
If you ever read this  *

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm messing with you
. . . . .
But I said what I felt *

I'm sorry if that bothers you .
maybe we shouldn't be friends ?

I'm sorry I can't fix any of this
I need to fix me instead
....

See I have this huge burden .. no no BURDENS on my chest

it's suffocating me to death

I can barely open my eyes without flowing tears that will unrest

.......

so I'm sorry I'm sorry if I'm bothering you  

Was it cause I asked to be considered by you

Was it cause I said I can't go out with you

Was it cause I couldn't pay for the same **** that you do

Was it cause I can't take your ******* with a smile

Please explain to me , why I shouldn't be irritated

when you're irritating me

Because YOU ******* COMMAND ME ?

Write the script of how I should be

I'm sorry you think you have problems
And that I'm one of it

But If I'm your problem then believe me
Your life is a bless

.....

So leave me be .

If you can't help me .

Then just leave me be .

*Cause I can't help but be me. *

As irritating I am . As noxious as I am . As yellow as I am . As blue as I am.

And no you can't change me .

And no it doesn't seem like you can or want to help me.

You don't trust me
You underestimate me
And because of the insignificance of my feelings to you
you can't and won't  understand me

And I would try to fix that
But right now I can't  even fix myself
....

See I have these BURDENS on my chest

it's suffocating me to death

I can barely open my eyes without flowing tears that will unrest
....

So let me be
If you can't *help me

That genuine heart that perky smile
They couldn't break you
They couldn't break you

Till they did .


And they did .


And it destroyed you .

Paint this black canvas
Paint it black ?

Paint this black canvas
Paint over my life

This canvas is black
So no need to paint it black

Paint this black canvas
Paint it red, orange, blue, pink or yellow
And please stop painting it in black

I've learned to fight in this world with all my strength
But all I really want to send you my love
All I really want is to trust everyone
All I really want is to make those around me happy

All I really want is dust

It disappears

All I want is myself in a piece

And all I want is to give everyone I love a piece of me

a piece of me that's happy that brings them joy

But it's not enough
for you
While I lost me

it's not enough for you
but I lost me

I hope I bring you joy
I hope you have felt this love
I hope you have felt my trust
I hope ..
I hope sometimes it's enough

Watch me be a *****
and alienate myself

Watch it
Watch it

Watch me die a little bit inside
Watch it
Watch it

Cause I'm sick of being kind
I'm sick of crying each and every ******* night
I'm sick inside
I'm sick of these exploding emotions I'm trying to hide
I'm sick inside

I knew better
But you made me sick sick inside
I can't do better
Cause you made me sick
To my stomach each and every ******* night

I wish to be your blanket
I wish to be your warmth
I wish to be your protection
I wish to be there for you when your cold

I wish to be a blanket
But sometimes I wish more
And that's when it gets sore
Cause you aren't my blanket
When I'm feeling cold
And so I find warmth
In keeping you warm

I wish to be your blanket
I wish to make you happy
And sometimes I wish I wouldn't wish more