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  May 27 star
wren
i sit in the same place as i did last year
desk worn smooth beneath my hand
the sunlight spills through the glass window
just like it always has

here i listen to a new voice speak
a different cadence and a different tone
but i am not listening to the lecture of the teacher
in this place i feel all alone

i look up from my bleeding cuticles
mind refocusing on the words
and for a single aching second
i see it, there you are

your dark red hair catches in the light
the way it always has when you turn to write
laughter just behind your lips
diamond iris sparking like struck flint

standing in front of the board, it is you—
until it isn’t

faster than it came, the illusion shatters
pain sharp as chalk dust in my throat
my heart stumbles like it forgot how to move forward
without you leading it homeward

i miss you more than words can hold
more than ink can write
more than silence can carry

and yet i sit in this room with this new voice
her new name
pretending not to see your ghost
in every empty space
  May 27 star
Supercat917
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I place flowers by her grave
That I wish she could see

I remember her laugh
Her smile
And her scream
Have dreams of her death
That place the blame on me

Under the Willow now
Weeping with the tree
I'll stay here
By my sister's feet

The funeral is done
The rain is pouring down
Everyone is gone
No one remains but me

I read the inscription on her grave
The one chosen be me:
Your life is what you gave
To help set Panem free

I wish I was dead
It should have been me
He should have ran
She should have tried to flee

It cannot be changed
Not even by me
So I take a breath
And bury her ashes
Underneath the tree
  May 27 star
starseeker
You collect sunlight and
swallow it down,
like it's tylenol.

You feel a lot more real
in my dreams, than you do
in my arms.

The ashtray keeps overflowing
Why won't you
replace it?


                
                     There is a fine line
                              between
                      courage and fear



With you, it's always been
sink, then swim
burn, then crash
leave, then love.
star May 27
Ariane again 5.24.25 (1:50 pm / 13:50)
ariane i try so hard for you
and it’s worth it every day

ariane there is nothing i would not sacrifice
for you and i

ariane it doesn’t matter anymore
if you love me back or not
can you let me love you?

ariane when it’s just me and you
those are my favorite moments,
i just want you to know

ariane please,
i wish i weren’t desperate
but i want this
you
all the same
star May 27
perfect reality 5.24.25 (1:54 pm / 13:54)
there is never a perfect reality
however much i wish for it

it’s like a painting and i’m trying to figure out what’s wrong,
just tell me,
help me make it right

maybe there are too many shadows
maybe the skyscrapers really do touch the clouds
i’m not sure but my brush can’t make it okay,

i’m on my knees now,
i don’t know why
it’s just all all all so wrong

have you ever felt so sad you can’t breathe
have your ribs and your chest and your heart
ever hurt so much
that they eventually go numb
because you just can’t take it anymore

have you ever taken a razor to your arm
because you want so badly to feel pain
you can understand
instead of aimless blind sadness

has it ever hurt for you
in your perfect reality
star May 27
i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked 5.7.25 (3:55 pm)
i cared too much about you to let you go
i cried for hours
i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked
and fell on me

i knelt in the shards of a roof and cut myself with them
until grief ran in red rivulets

it wasn’t fair, was it
because it also wasn’t your fault
it was mine too,
there’s blame to share
star May 27
3.6.25 5.7.25 (4:46 pm)
march sixth, 2025
a day i remember all of
but remember nothing
i was alive
i was there
maybe only hundreds of feet away
when she died

she died
she’s dead
she died
she’s gone

march sixth, forever a day marred
forever a day a life was cut short
so short
september ninth, 2012
the day she was born
109,479 hours
that’s how long she lived
394,124,400 seconds

she should have had years ahead of her

forever twelve years old
forever behind glass
forever the picture behind piles of flowers
and candles in the rain

forever the girl who changed in a second
from life to death
forever the girl who changed a school
forever arsema
forever a name remembered

i'm just still trying to make sense
of an impossible thing
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