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I come here
To spill my emotions
Out of an overflowing cup
Sometimes
It's just too much
It's like a large sack of rice
On my head
When I sleep
I feel the burden
I try to spill the little
grains of rice
Trying trying trying
It's an imaginary sack of rice
I walk
I think
I spill
I walk
I think
I spill
Over and over again
I come here
And spill
You see my
thoughts
become words
full of meaning
But if you see what I see
Everyday in a
Panel of glass
I don't seem to be
that person
I am tired of
trying
pretending to be nice
to people who don't deserve it
I try
I really do
To juggle things in life
But people like you
Like you, yes you
Your words pull me down

And that sack of rice just
gets
bigger
and bigger
heavier
and heavier
And  one day I
will collapse
That sack of rice blinding my thoughts
That sack of rice
On my head
On my body
Hands, shoulders, legs
And you might never see me again
Under that sack of rice

So I come here
Hello Poetry
To spill those grains of rice
before something happens
and
I
collapse.
 Aug 2013 Leonard Green
Morgan
A red lipstick stain on a smiling
stranger's cheek
A woman bragging frantically
about her perfect peach
tree on some gardener's TV
The look of pure relief
shared between a mother and her son
after she's looked all over the grocery store
to find his quick little traveling legs
The scent of **** catching in my nose
as I roll down the window in a random
parking lot & the distant laughter that follows
Twelve year olds holding hands in the mall
The fresh gloss on their lips from that
messy, pre-teen kiss
Watching my best friends write lyrics
Pitching in with small thoughts and
more precise words
And then singing along at the top of my lungs
When the pit opens up
at a small venue, one week later
An old man sitting silently
Reading "Dancing at the Harvest Moon"
with a gentle smile at my local library
He doesn't notice me
Two straight lovers screaming "legalize gay"
at the marriage equality march last May
Painting tiny little finger nails
when I've been asked to babysit
four small angels
Shady trees on painfully sunny days
And the look on your face when you talk
about the things you know so well
I get lost
I lose my breath
And I am in love with everything
At least during these short glimpses
of a beautiful world
 Aug 2013 Leonard Green
thrcy
I'm broken
shattered into pieces
never will be full again
torn apart
crushed so deeply

Everyday I try to be happy
but my day always ends up ******

Still can't let some things go
so I end up feeling low
but I try my best though
to not let my feelings show

With unanswered questions
consistently looking for suggestions
of why I'm in depression

There's no hope
I can't even cope
of my own self
this is no good for my health

Really got to stop feeling down
maybe I should just go away for awhile & get out of town
before I let myself drown
with all my thoughts that'll just make me frown

I should start fresh
and forget about how my life's a mess
dismiss myself from all that stress
but be grateful instead of how I'm truly bless
 Aug 2013 Leonard Green
hello
Why can't I just
Move on completely
Without this yearning closure
That's as clangorous as
A gun shot

You've seem to have split me
Into two
I miss you tattooed,
Moved on etched into
My still veins

My nerves are failing
My feet move
Yet my brain is frozen
All I see is you

The night is suicidal upon
My mind
Threatening to only leave me
With this body
Hands betray me
I've stopped trusting them
Long ago
When all they wanted to touch
Was you

Time has deceived me
You only seem to sulk around
When it is late;
my mind is barren
As well as solemn

I've realized I can live without you
My organs are still pumping;
But I'm drowning in a sea
Of conflicted and unrequited
I miss you's,
Yet my head sometimes comes
To surface and I can admire
The moon
But not as much as
I admire you

I've apologized
To the night
(Also to you)
Sparkling stars are
Synonymous to their
Forgiveness
While your silence shouts louder
Than anything I've ever heard
Before

So I can run a few miles
But I'm panting for breath
At the end
Don't be surprised
If I go into
Cardiac arrest!

Because my book continues
But the ink is wearing thin
The next chapter is
So far away

So I will make my world a window
See you when I wish to
And seal the blinds
Once I have fulfilled the want
For closure

All my doors have been bolted
So please visit
But do not
Come in.
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