no one really understands...
i feel fat, huge, disgusting, to  the point that i am uncomfortable in social scenes and my own body...
nothing fits my body right, at all.
and they say its because im 'so curvy for my age', please just quit lying to me.
quit telling me im pretty, or im so skinny, and curvy.
im disgusting.
i dont understand why other people dont see it...
i can list something wrong with every part of my body... and the fact that im friends with this one girl who is just gorgeous at all times, just hurts more, but its not her fault im ugly...
its not her fault that she lies to me,
society tells her its okay to.
just so it will make me feel a little better for a fraction of a second.
but i see through the lies,
i feel the nasty looks and looks of pity i get.
i see the looks that i get that say 'i cant believe shes so ugly...'

My life revolves around pain,
So much it's made me,
Hurt my self and not even feel a thing,
It makes me sick afterwards,
When I see the scars and remember every,
Tiny little thing for why I have those ******* scars.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.



But the roses have wilted,
And the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl is empty,
And my wrist are stained red.

You probably don't understand,
Most people don't,
You will never understand,
How much anger,
How much self hatred,
Someone must have,
To take a razor to themselves,
And cut into their own skin..

Scars on my hips,
Scars on my thighs,
Eyes full of hurt,
And mouth full of lies..

I look in the mirror,

And I see many things,

Many things,

But not my own self,

I don't know who I am anymore,

And maybe I never will,

Maybe I'm too far gone,

*And passed the point of return.

People told me
       "get over it"
I tried.

People told me
       "get better grades"
I tried.

People told me
       "stop being so quiet"
I tried.

People told me
       "you look tired, get more sleep"
I tried.

People told me
       "just **** yourself already"
I'm trying.

The monsters my parents warned me about, when I was younger weren't under my bed..or in my closet..but they were in my head.