you made me fall for you.

i did.

so ******* hard.

what-

why-

i thought you loved me back.

it really was fake huh michael.

those i love yous

those i wanna hug yous.

michael i ******* love you.


and i didn't think that it would mean nothing.

but,


thanks for the rejection anyway..

Please... don't find me.

I want to keep my hole to myself

the lines are doubling

doubling in despair

the pain isnt going anywhere

it has no where to go

so why should i stop?


when i can just keep going

and ill be fine.

Daddy's drinking again.

When will he stop?

i want you against me

i want to see you

touch you

kiss you

i just wanna have you fo a day or two

“ you guys get so ****** when i leave but treat me like **** when i'm there
specifically for matt and robin soliel”


****.

thanks.


though you are the one who said that you wanted to avoid us.

you are the one who dumped me. twice.

the one who crushed on one of my best friends during our relationship.

you took out your anger on me by dumping me didn’t you.

you.  

started this drama,

didn’t you?


now your friends are targeting me.


i’m sobbing over you.


because after all, we’ve shared our moments together.



you had my first kiss.

had the title of robins first serious girlfriend.

robins the first one who had a relationship in the group.

robins girlfriend is so nice.


do you even know how much i showed you off to my friends.


“guys this is my girlfriend. isn’t she so pretty? she’s super nice and god- i think she’s the one. i really do.”


“she’s actually really hot.”


“yeah but she’s mine and not yours, loser. she’s mine. she’s my world. i just don’t wanna think about when the relationship will have to end..”


“i’m sure it won’t any time soon. you guys are so happy together. meant for each other!”




**** you.


****.


i hate this.


i’m not one to hate people but i’m starting to hate you now.


please, do tell your little friend so she can glare at me during class again.


i want you out of my life. you dumped me twice and you’re lying on the internet saying that i treated you like ****.


i really guess those nightly texts didn’t mean anything. those facetime calls. they didn’t mean anything, huh?

and i realise that i dont mean anything to you anymore so whats the point in living?

I ******* love you as a friend.

Honestly, one of the best internet friends I’ve ever met, and guess what?

You’re friends with people at my school and you know we exist.

One in a ******* million.

I could meet you, the first one I’ve ever met.

We’re both gay ******* going through school, dealing with absolute ****.

We live hundreds and hundreds of miles apart, but *******,

You’re so close yet so far.

Does it ******* up?

Pfft, probably.

Though it doesn't do **** when I drink it.

but don’t ******* worry about it,

just keep on talking real sappy about you and your little girlfriend.


i don’t talk about mine because i care about you guys and i wanna spend time with you because i don’t know when the last time i’ll do this is. so *******- shut u p..

A sun, shining bright into her eyes.

She opened them, cooing at her mother, laying in the hospital bed.

A little girl has been born,

but she has yet to find out what will happen.

Little Soleil will no longer,

feel.

i’ll disappear


everything will be fine. i wouldn’t ******* be-

because i thought of you when i made these dumb accounts

makes me feel giddy and happy.

my heart is just-

aaasdhjksj

i̸̧͈̣̳͔̮͚͙̘͂̾̏̌̋͠m̸̨̨̝͍̬͑͂̀̇̾ ̸̢̫̼̝̩͉̗̦̈́̽̾̀̑̚͜͝ģ̸̯̤̱͕̤̣̰̲̞̍̃͝ơ̵̯̊̎̎͊̏̊͋͠ṋ̸̈́̌̿̀n̴̨̼̗͓̬̆͌̌͆̈́̓͝­̼a̶̧̞͍̹̰̗̤̖̟̘͗́̇̿̈́͗̕͝͠ ̶̡̛͙̮̿̿̈́́̓̒̿͝ǩ̸̡͍̼̟̝̈́́͒i̵̻̭̘̯͆͑l̸̛̤̱̖̣̞̠̓̀̓l̷̡̻̰͎̾̐̒̌ͅ ̷̡͙̜̰̞̪̜͓̀͑̾̈́̋̐̾͜͠m̵͚̗͚͕̣̓y̸̛̠̥̻̠̝̬̋͆́̃͊͝s̶̡̡̨̛̲̞̬̻͎̟̚ͅé̷̢̼̝̈́̆̚l­̵̝̭̠̬̬̠̫͈͊̇͛f̴̬͖̬͂̌̒̓̍.̷̢̛̛̳̦̣̟̖̬̘͒̋̊̈́̔͘͘

you were supposed to take me to the arcade before school starts up again.

you were.

i guess you didnt have time.

i guess you didnt want to.


i was looking forward to it

i wanna die
“no you don’t. you’re asking for attention.”

let me **** myself
“you’re overreacting.”



i’m hungry
“deal with it. you’re getting fat anyway”

it’s scaring me

you told me about how they broke you


you've never broken that much before.



the worlds ****** man.



i cant believe i trusted him either.



i cant believe they did this to you.


i love you.




please-


dont.. die.

like right now.

i’m sorry.

you let him eat. ooh fun.

he makes mistakes, it’s fine. you’ll help him without yelling.


you don’t let me eat. i’m ******* starving

i make mistakes, ITS NOT ******* FINE YOU YELL ST ME AND CALL ME NASTY WORDS. HELP? PLEASE ITS JUST YOU MAKING THINGS YOUR WAY.




i’m gonna ******* **** myself man

please don’t die please i need you i love you i haven’t met you yet we haven’t met yet we haven’t walked under the cherry blossoms together yet we haven’t hugged yet you haven’t seen me yet

i ******* promise you that you’re doing so well you’re doing great you’re improving. getting better i love you i love you i love you

"youre not trying hard enough"

"you need to actually try"

"were just gonna do it without you"

"youre not contributing"


maybe if you thought about how i felt about everything you wouldn't have said that.

the way you sing along to your songs.

jam out like its nobody's business.

i wanna hold your hand

absolutely nothing

who he visits at least once a week,


we drop him off, we pick him up.


he gets picked up, he gets dropped off.


the girl,


short with bangs.

long straight black hair.


young love they call it.

wanna hang out sometime?

i just wanna eat.


i’m so hungry


it’s 2pm, i’ve been awake since 9am.


haven’t had food at all today.



don’t tell me to eat because the only thing stopping me from doing just that is my dad.

Thank you,
I'll say goodbye soon.

Though it's the end of the world,

I still love you.

And since it's true,

I'll surround you and

give life to a world that's our own.




Help me.

I'll say goodbye now.

Since it's the end of the world.

Don't blame yourself.




And if I love you,

I'll hug you.

And never let go.






WAIT!

Don't leave,

We could be free.

Nothing would stop us now.

Nothing WILL stop us now.

Even if it's the end of the world,

I'll surround you.

And give life to a world, that's our own!

I could never live without you.


Let's be free.

I will save you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's run away

with no plan.

Let's not say goodbye now.

It's the end of the world.

And make our own world.

I'll miss you.

I'm sorry.

im just finding all the ways to finally end myself

i want to leave the conversation but i can’t

you’re being lovey dovey and i no longer feel comfy

and i don’t wanna make you feel bad

Flying through the wonderland forest,

Growing flowers everywhere they touch,

Fairies.

I want to be one.

I want to be free.

i blocked all of my irl friends to save me from

"yo are you ok??"

"i saw ur poem, u good?"


because no,

im not okay.


im not good.


but i dont want to worry you

so maybe i just won’t

but youre not listening and i don't know what to d o

i’ll stop liking her

i felt like you never liked me anyway.

I'm sorry. My best isn't good enough. When I try, I don't try hard enough apparently.


I'm sorry. I shouldn't be happy. BECAUSE WHENEVER IM ******* HAPPY SOMEONE SAYS **** TO ME TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU ******* ON ME *******

found out

dragged me over the couch,


making fall on the wood tile.


i cried

"PLEASE NO PLEASE STOP STOP STOP PLEASE NO"

as he reached for my arms


i want out.

i read your love poems about her and can’t help but to be jealous

mommy says she cant wear a mask out

so she cant protect herself from illness


BECAUSE YOU RACIST ***** WILL BEAT HER UP FOR TRYING TO NOT GET SICK

SO WHAT IF SHES ASAIN?

YOU RACIST RACIST ***** I DONT WANT HER TO DIE

SHE HAS A FAMILY

A LIFE


she doesn't go outside anymore because of you.

Where is home?

What is home?

Where in the ******* world would make me feel at home?

Nowhere.

Just, please.

I want to feel at home for once.

To feel as if I won't get beat.

To feel like I can walk in and be fed.

i joke about how i eat so much.

its funny until i actually have to eat.


i cant


god i hate it so much


having to chew on an apple slice until i feel like i can swallow it.


5 minutes.


and then spitting it out because i cant


before i throw it up again

you’re so boring when talking to me
you ignore me
you back out right when we’re about to do something

i hate it

but i shut up about it

because you’re “happy”

i know you are

just wish you’d just say “yo i don’t wanna be friends anymore”

but you didn’t.

so i deal with your silence