and i realise that i dont mean anything to you anymore so whats the point in living?

i cant tell if im falling for you or not.


i cant tell if i love being your friend or if i love you



i dont have a chance.


youre 17

im 15.


its not- its probably not gonna work out


so whats the point?

Flying through the wonderland forest,

Growing flowers everywhere they touch,

Fairies.

I want to be one.

I want to be free.

the way you sing along to your songs.

jam out like its nobody's business.

i wanna hold your hand

Does it ******* up?

Pfft, probably.

Though it doesn't do **** when I drink it.

I'm sorry. My best isn't good enough. When I try, I don't try hard enough apparently.


I'm sorry. I shouldn't be happy. BECAUSE WHENEVER IM ******* HAPPY SOMEONE SAYS **** TO ME TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU ******* ON ME *******

I ******* love you as a friend.

Honestly, one of the best internet friends I’ve ever met, and guess what?

You’re friends with people at my school and you know we exist.

One in a ******* million.

I could meet you, the first one I’ve ever met.

We’re both gay ******* going through school, dealing with absolute ****.

We live hundreds and hundreds of miles apart, but *******,

You’re so close yet so far.

the word makes me sick to my stomach i wish i could just never eat and i’ll be fine! i’ll be skinny again and boys will like me, my friends will like me, the popular kids will like me. if i were skinny, i’ll be “happy”

you were supposed to take me to the arcade before school starts up again.

you were.

i guess you didnt have time.

i guess you didnt want to.


i was looking forward to it

you let him eat. ooh fun.

he makes mistakes, it’s fine. you’ll help him without yelling.


you don’t let me eat. i’m ******* starving

i make mistakes, ITS NOT ******* FINE YOU YELL ST ME AND CALL ME NASTY WORDS. HELP? PLEASE ITS JUST YOU MAKING THINGS YOUR WAY.




i’m gonna ******* **** myself man

Thank you,
I'll say goodbye soon.

Though it's the end of the world,

I still love you.

And since it's true,

I'll surround you and

give life to a world that's our own.




Help me.

I'll say goodbye now.

Since it's the end of the world.

Don't blame yourself.




And if I love you,

I'll hug you.

And never let go.






WAIT!

Don't leave,

We could be free.

Nothing would stop us now.

Nothing WILL stop us now.

Even if it's the end of the world,

I'll surround you.

And give life to a world, that's our own!

I could never live without you.


Let's be free.

I will save you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's run away

with no plan.

Let's not say goodbye now.

It's the end of the world.

And make our own world.

I'll miss you.

I'm sorry.

please don’t die please i need you i love you i haven’t met you yet we haven’t met yet we haven’t walked under the cherry blossoms together yet we haven’t hugged yet you haven’t seen me yet

i ******* promise you that you’re doing so well you’re doing great you’re improving. getting better i love you i love you i love you

i want you against me

i want to see you

touch you

kiss you

i just wanna have you fo a day or two

but don’t ******* worry about it,

just keep on talking real sappy about you and your little girlfriend.


i don’t talk about mine because i care about you guys and i wanna spend time with you because i don’t know when the last time i’ll do this is. so *******- shut u p..

i feel like i messed up, threw the friendship away to the back of my head for some stupid girl who broke my heart.

but there are those days where i feel as you did the same

and i don’t wanna tell you that god i wish you never met them cause you look so happy with her

so i’m pouring my feelings out on this dumb website like the dumb little girl i am


because i miss you

i love you


but this ******* pain won’t go away

the lines are doubling

doubling in despair

the pain isnt going anywhere

it has no where to go

so why should i stop?


when i can just keep going

and ill be fine.

it’s scaring me

because i thought of you when i made these dumb accounts

like right now.

i’ll disappear


everything will be fine. i wouldn’t ******* be-

who he visits at least once a week,


we drop him off, we pick him up.


he gets picked up, he gets dropped off.


the girl,


short with bangs.

long straight black hair.


young love they call it.

i’ll stop liking her

you told me about how they broke you


you've never broken that much before.



the worlds ****** man.



i cant believe i trusted him either.



i cant believe they did this to you.


i love you.




please-


dont.. die.

absolutely nothing

makes me feel giddy and happy.

my heart is just-

aaasdhjksj

i read your love poems about her and can’t help but to be jealous

i wanna die
“no you don’t. you’re asking for attention.”

let me **** myself
“you’re overreacting.”



i’m hungry
“deal with it. you’re getting fat anyway”

wanna hang out sometime?

“ you guys get so ****** when i leave but treat me like **** when i'm there
specifically for matt and robin soliel”


****.

thanks.


though you are the one who said that you wanted to avoid us.

you are the one who dumped me. twice.

the one who crushed on one of my best friends during our relationship.

you took out your anger on me by dumping me didn’t you.

you.  

started this drama,

didn’t you?


now your friends are targeting me.


i’m sobbing over you.


because after all, we’ve shared our moments together.



you had my first kiss.

had the title of robins first serious girlfriend.

robins the first one who had a relationship in the group.

robins girlfriend is so nice.


do you even know how much i showed you off to my friends.


“guys this is my girlfriend. isn’t she so pretty? she’s super nice and god- i think she’s the one. i really do.”


“she’s actually really hot.”


“yeah but she’s mine and not yours, loser. she’s mine. she’s my world. i just don’t wanna think about when the relationship will have to end..”


“i’m sure it won’t any time soon. you guys are so happy together. meant for each other!”




**** you.


****.


i hate this.


i’m not one to hate people but i’m starting to hate you now.


please, do tell your little friend so she can glare at me during class again.


i want you out of my life. you dumped me twice and you’re lying on the internet saying that i treated you like ****.


i really guess those nightly texts didn’t mean anything. those facetime calls. they didn’t mean anything, huh?

i̸̧͈̣̳͔̮͚͙̘͂̾̏̌̋͠m̸̨̨̝͍̬͑͂̀̇̾ ̸̢̫̼̝̩͉̗̦̈́̽̾̀̑̚͜͝ģ̸̯̤̱͕̤̣̰̲̞̍̃͝ơ̵̯̊̎̎͊̏̊͋͠ṋ̸̈́̌̿̀n̴̨̼̗͓̬̆͌̌͆̈́̓͝­̼a̶̧̞͍̹̰̗̤̖̟̘͗́̇̿̈́͗̕͝͠ ̶̡̛͙̮̿̿̈́́̓̒̿͝ǩ̸̡͍̼̟̝̈́́͒i̵̻̭̘̯͆͑l̸̛̤̱̖̣̞̠̓̀̓l̷̡̻̰͎̾̐̒̌ͅ ̷̡͙̜̰̞̪̜͓̀͑̾̈́̋̐̾͜͠m̵͚̗͚͕̣̓y̸̛̠̥̻̠̝̬̋͆́̃͊͝s̶̡̡̨̛̲̞̬̻͎̟̚ͅé̷̢̼̝̈́̆̚l­̵̝̭̠̬̬̠̫͈͊̇͛f̴̬͖̬͂̌̒̓̍.̷̢̛̛̳̦̣̟̖̬̘͒̋̊̈́̔͘͘

so maybe i just won’t

I,

a biological female,

I have nothing.

Everyone else?

Had $20+ spent on them.

I have nothing

Christmas shouldn't be about gifts.

It's about the thought.

The care.

That's what counts.

NO ONE CARES.

NO ONE EVER ******* THOUGHT ABOUT ME.

IF YOU ******* CARED,

YOU WOULD'VE AT LEAST WRITTEN A CARD.

SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS.

GAVE ME A HUG.

BUT I GOT NOTHING.

NOT EVEN A SMILE.

NOT EVEN A LOOK IN THE EYES.

AM I INVISIBLE?

******* TELL ME NOW AM I INVISIBLE?


sure as hell feels like it.

i just wanna eat.


i’m so hungry


it’s 2pm, i’ve been awake since 9am.


haven’t had food at all today.



don’t tell me to eat because the only thing stopping me from doing just that is my dad.

i felt like you never liked me anyway.

im just finding all the ways to finally end myself

i blocked all of my irl friends to save me from

"yo are you ok??"

"i saw ur poem, u good?"


because no,

im not okay.


im not good.


but i dont want to worry you

but youre not listening and i don't know what to d o

"youre not trying hard enough"

"you need to actually try"

"were just gonna do it without you"

"youre not contributing"


maybe if you thought about how i felt about everything you wouldn't have said that.

i want to leave the conversation but i can’t

you’re being lovey dovey and i no longer feel comfy

and i don’t wanna make you feel bad

i’m sorry.

Be thankful, they say.

What is there to be thankful for?

SOMEONE JUST HELP ME PLEASE I HAVE NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

HOW DID I SPEND MY "THANKSGIVING?" I SLEPT AND WORKED.

WHY?

BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IN THIS ******* HOUSEHOLD HAS A BRAIN AND THEY DON'T MAKE ANY MONEY.

I just thought that this year might've been different.

you’re so boring when talking to me
you ignore me
you back out right when we’re about to do something

i hate it

but i shut up about it

because you’re “happy”

Am I young?

Too young to be writing these things?

No.

I'm not.

You don't know what I've been through.

You don't know what happens at home.

You don't know anything about me.

Yes, I'm 14.

Fourteen.

Not even of legal age.

But, you have to understand that I,

I've gone through ****.

You don't know anything.

Don't assume anything.

I'm broken.

Shattered.

Weak.

I just-

Need help.

decoding your poems to figure out who it was actually for


love poems for her.

some for me.

i cant figure out why but

there's jealousy stirring up in me.



im not the best right now

im sorry.

i really do love you too.


i just dont- know... how to? tell you



because youre not into us


just like how she felt.




you want her.




"jenny"

found out

dragged me over the couch,


making fall on the wood tile.


i cried

"PLEASE NO PLEASE STOP STOP STOP PLEASE NO"

as he reached for my arms


i want out.