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 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
mc
on your mind?
there's only one place I'd rather be
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Aaliyah
I kissed him intentionally
to bruise him
I wanted my scent to seep into
his skin
as he departed the morning after
I wanted him to remember me
like he selfishly
left his blackened odor all over
my body

I reeked of him

And every time I tried to scrub
this false love and empty
memories
off the walls of my skin
the thought of his touch
has all these feelings rushing back
She stares at me
From the other side of that mirror
Her eyes are full of disappointment.
But what does she know?!
She's only a little girl.
She has no Idea what it's like out there.
But she knows me.
She knows my past.
The pain I once felt.
The pain I pushed so far down only she feels it now.

Her eyes fill with tears.
Terrified of who she's become.
Or are they my tears?
Ours she corrects me.
I shiver at the thought.

This little girl so small.
Innocent.
Look who she's become.
I'm sorry little girl.
I know you'll never forgive me.
*I'll never forgive me.
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Eh
Every time I see that picture.
I fall in love with you all over again.
But then I realize.
You never even stumbled in love with me.
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Eh
How I long for the nights like these
the times when I can muster up the courage to write my feelings down
These nights become rarer and rarer for me.
Sitting on my half sunk in sofa convincing myself to read these live tomorrow night
The kitchen light is on, the porch light is off
Hoping my neighbors peer in my windows from across the street
Maybe they will see my loneliness at 4:30 in the morning.
A young man in boxers and a white t-shirt glaring at his laptop screen with a frown
While his mother sleeps in the room over
Who will wake up in 45 minutes and ask me, "son, why are you still up? Do you realize I'm starting my day?"
And I mutter to myself, "if only you knew"
She will offer me coffee and I'll politely decline and then she'll head to work
And I'll remain here, drunk off my thoughts, high off the Vicodin my doctor prescribed me.
Wondering, what time will I get to sleep?
Where have my friends gone?
But most importantly, how and where you are these days.
Oh, how I long for the nights like these
 Jun 2013 Leelan Farhan
Gene
My poetry and I poisoned and misunderstood each other again last night.
Uncertainty has always been the love chemistry that my poetry and I would get lost in together.
Not this time.
Tonight I'll be getting lost in your silence, without love...
Our silence.

My poetry and I polluted and betrayed each other again last night.
Dangerous romance has always been the oxygen that's kept my poetry and I alive.
Not this time.
Tonight I'll be suffocating in the truth.
Better to be suffocated by truth than murdered by our silence.

last night, my poetry and I looked deep into each others eyes.
I became angry and without warning my poetry began to cry in purple.
Please stop.

*Gene
© June 2013  E. Little
I compare myself to silverware
because both myself
and your shining collection of forks and knives
let people use us over
and over again,
never asking for anything in return.
Though sometimes I wonder
if the tablespoon ever tires
of the same old routine
because I think that,
possibly,
I do.
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