Leelan Farhan

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

I am your nightmare, I am your fear.
I am vile, I am a bat screeching in your ear.
I am torture, with a capital T
I am a noose that you cannot see.
I am the part of your soul that is black.
I am the treacherous thoughts you can't hold back.
I am the devil's spawn, the seven deadly sins
I am the sociopath acting out on a whim
I am a corpse on All Hallows Eve
I am the homeless, begging on my knees
I am the **** of the Earth, the dust of the wealth
I am an alcoholic in withdrawal, a person dying of bad health
I am a tumour, gnawing away at your life
I am a scar, being torn open by a knife
I am the bad,
the evil,
the vile
I am your paranoia, your reoccurring denial
You created this monster, this omen of death
And I will remind you until you take your last breath.

*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

capricorn

I love the winter
-- oh how I love the cold.
The numbing temperature is morphine to my soul.
Rushing through my veins, turning my blood to ice
A natural drug; my only sense of sanity, my demonic vice
And it frees me.

I love the winter,
and all its melodramatic glamour.
There's a sheen of romantic sadness when church bells clammor
I love the winter;
-- it's when I came out of the Cave.
Saw the Truth for what it was,
and wrote it down page by page.

Leave me with the snow;
I want to hear the church bells
ring.
*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

the paradox

You chase her
and get nowhere.
I chase you
around back alleys
and all I get are strangers
who resemble you.
But their touch doesn't fool my body.
When will we get it right?

*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

love's graveyard

I tried to drown your memory with his cologne
But when I got home all I wanted to do was *****.
And no matter how many times I wash my clothes
and wash my body
I feel him poisoning my skin.
Even now as I lie broken
from his theatrics
you still haunt the cemetery of my mind.

*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

For Lack of Conversation

I just want to cradle you in my arms, in all your brokenness.
Just love you for everything they hate you for.
We can drown in our misery together;
talk about Hell and our plans when we get there.
I’m so filled with n o t h i n g
and so are you.
My dear who are you?
I certainly don’t know.
I don’t know who I am.
I don’t know anything.
But that’s okay; neither do you.
That’s why I love you.
*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

life support

I want to learn to live again.
Someone teach me how to breathe again.
Inhale, exhale, slow.
No more, no more.
I am not strong.
I cannot hold on.
Much longer.
I want to learn to to feel again.
Someone teach my blood to flow.
Hollow eyes, easy demise.
Going down, going down.
Take my kingdom, take my crown.
Take my head, spin it round.
Smile, smile, they’re looking at you
They’re watching your eyes
They’re watching your moves.
Don’t flinch, don’t break
How much can you take?
You fake, you fake.
Fake.
Fake.
My life is nothing
Withering flower
In a fragile state
*-lf-

Leelan Farhan Jun 2013

drown

I constantly envision myself swimming through the sea
Where there are sharks incessantly nipping at my feet
Waves crash on over my head, drowning out existence
I try to push, pull over the tide, with great persistence.

But no matter how fast I try to swim,
It seems that the tide always wins.

*-lf-