I always relapse
in your arms

Hopelessness is swallowing me.
For all my life I've been it's prey.
Sometimes strong, sometimes weak,
I've always managed to hold on,
but my grip is loosening.

My dreams have been squelched
and my imagination is fading.
I'm tired of pushing boulders uphill
only to watch them roll back down.
My shiny glaze of compassion has dulled.

Flaccid are my heartstrings,
flying ramdomly like torn ribbons
on a misguided kite.
Where can I escape and become
someone else somewhere else?

Forgive me darling, for I have sinned.
I didn't love you enough.

Forgive me mother, for I have sinned.
I wasn't the child you wanted.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I wasn't as smart as your first two children.

Forgive me sister, for I have sinned.
I didn't comfort you when he broke your heart.

Forgive me brother, for I have sinned.
I've forgotten to teach you the way to love women.

Forgive me, for I have sinned.
I'm sorry for never being good enough.

Forgive me, I am a sin.

I just want to trace
your veins with my
finger and drown in
the sound of your
voice

"If you're happy, I'm happy too.*

The thing is

I don't want you to be happy when I'm not with you.
I want to walk out your front door and know that once I'm out of your sight, you'll feel lonely again.

I want you to live life to the fullest, but wish that I was there; right next to you.

I want you to ******* breathe and just miss the sound of my over exaggerated sighs and loud laughs.

I want you to feel completely miserable without me.

Because that's how I feel when you aren't here.

Stop with your words
I said over and over again
He kept on begging
And led me to bed
Walking up the stairs
Opens the door to my doom
He takes me by the hand
And leads me into his room
Whispers words in my ear
Gently touches my face
With one kiss, takes away my fear
The end is clear in sight
I knew what was bound to happen
On this calm and lovely night
Secrets that should never be told
He's angry now
The night grows old
I want to ******* was all he said
My brain is fading away
My heart stops dead
I knew what I should say
Yet I feel myself letting go
In between sheets, we danced the night away
I feel the overwhelming sensation of love
Pulsing through my veins
Drowning me in the arms of his flood
Just as quickly as it started
The deed was done
He takes a part of me, and has now departed
Panic is crashing through my skull
What did I just do
Everything's hazy, emotions are null
Was what you said true
There has to be more
This can't be it
I feel sick from my feet to my core
The sickness is a smile across my face
He's sleeping now
The moment is gone without a trace
At first I thought
What a beautiful moment
There I w trapped. He had me caught
Days later, nothing was said
He left me
With my heart caught up in his water bed
He said I was something
Then time kicked in
I realized I was nothing
The undertow grabs a hold of my feet
I'm ****** under
In this moment at least
Waves continue to change
I see him
He looks at me strange
I know why
He's seeing his past
He keeps me as one of his secrets and one of his lies
Isn't all this liquid
Supposed to make me drown
I keep thinking about that night
When I did what I did
Hoping all this water will boil my brain
So I can stop going insane
He is gone
And I'm lying in my own tears of rain
Trying to extract the pain
They say drowning is the most peaceful way to die
I don't doubt it
I'm waiting, ******* it in, with each and every heavy sigh
I have no emotions someone once said
I don't believe them
This ocean of tormenting love. Please, take over.
I'm better off dead
They say time heals all, let the water pour in.

Inside me is empty
Let the cleansing begin

It's bad enough
When the one you ****
Is not the one you love
It's even worse
When you turn your face
Can't look into their eyes
You've got it bad
You've got the curse
He can probably feel your lies
Make him leave
If you please
There's the open door
So I guess I can
"Do it" again
But in your eyes
Is where I long to lye
But here I am
Alone again
With only regret
No heart in my chest
Cause only you can be
The thing that awakens me
Only you can put my heart back in
You are the only cure I see

When all seemed lost
And every action came with a cost
I was waiting around
Trying to pick my feet off the ground
But life was dragging me down

Two strangers came up to me
Asked me exactly what I need
At the time I didn't know
And so they gave me hope

Later on in the day
Spirits high on my way
I met a girl, tears in her eyes
Told me she never wanted anyone to see her cry
I listened to all she had to say
Told her it was all going to be ok
Then I gave her what was sent to me
Gave her hope so she could see

Now the clouds will come
And the rain will pour
When all is said and done
You've reached wits end
You feel it seeping through your core

Feel the light and let it shine through
Once it's there you'll know what to do
Life is filled with players and games
Don't be another lost pawn
Find love
It leads to hope
                          And pass it on...

There was a troll
That lived in a hole
Underneath a bridge
He had long hair
And didn't care
All he did was dig
There were pots of gold
In his knoll
One day along his way
He came across
A field of grass
Where leprechauns went to play
There were ten little men
Dancing around there little feet tapping the ground
He didn't eat one
He didn't eat two
He stole all their gold
Then ate the whole crew
And that is the toll they had to pay
For getting in a scary trolls way