If I could dance with you
Just once around the room
My dreams would all come true
....to dance with you

If I could kiss your lips
Eyes closed, hands on your hips
It would make my heart skip
....to kiss your lips

If I could hold you tight
In my arms, through the night
All in my life would be just right
.....to hold you tight

I can't dance with you
Or hold you the whole night through
I can't kiss you tenderly
....it's just not meant to be

But if I could....I'd be whole again

I remember you
Your eyes
Your smile
Your arms....

I remember you
Your dreams
Your plans
Your promises....

I remember you
Your passion
Your heat
Your love....

I remember you
Your distance
Your excuses
Your lies....

I remember you
Your anger
Your jealousy
Your accusations.....

I remember
When I had enough
When I walked away
When I felt broken....

I remember
When I found my strength
When I let go
When I stood tall....

Yes, I remember....

I cried today
Because I realized that I
no longer expect you
to walk through the door.

I don't look at the corner
of the back yard
expecting to see you there
working on something.

I don't plan our dinners
based on your favorite foods
or worry over when the food
hits the table.

We eat when we eat
We eat whatever
It really no longer matters
You were the picky one.

I cried today
Because I realized
something that broke my heart....
I'm used to you being gone.

Promises kept
Promises broken
Silence so loud
Words left unspoken


Bed feels so empty
Your absence feels wrong
Nights spent alone
Longing so strong

Everything's over
Before it's begun
Why am I lonely
If you were the one

You said goodbye
With the look in your eyes
Yet the words that you spoke
Were nothing but lies

Told tales of forever
Happy endings to be
But your words were illusions
Fairy tales and fantasy

Misery, my company
My world dressed in gray
Steady rain of sorrow
The sun has gone away

Drowning in the sadness
Yet my heart still beats
Suffocating madness
I feel incomplete

Silence so loud
Words left unspoken
No promises kept
My heart is just broken

Is it okay that I still love you?
Even knowing what you did?
I knew nothing at the time
Hell, I was just a kid

I sometimes got the feeling
That maybe you were mean
But I'd push it from my mind
Like some forgotten dream

You used to tell me stories
Before I'd go to sleep
You shared with me imagination
But kept your secrets hidden deep

As I grew into a woman
You gave me great advice
You taught me to be honest
For to lie you pay a price

You told me I was beautiful
And you loved to hear me sing
I never felt you judge me
I could tell you any thing

By then my sister and brother
Had left to escape your fury
You made us think they alone were guilty
A swift exile by judge and jury

I believed they were to blame
Yes, I believed your lies
Even though Dad's heart was broken
Even when I heard his cries

As the years progressed
You shared a little of your tale
About your ******* of a father
And how he put you all through hell

Your last years were full of pain
You suffered much before your death
You begged them for forgiveness
Then you took your final breath

But the damage was too great
And we would not recover
We remained estranged
From our sister and our brother

Since your death I've learned the truth
What you did, and what was done to you
My hearts breaks for the abuse you gave
And the hell that you went through

Now my heart is so confused
I don't know how to feel
Is it okay to love you?
Is the woman I knew even real?

I can't explain it any better
And I don't know what to do
I wish some one would just tell me
Is it okay to love you?

my mind is playing tricks on me
I thought I saw your face
next second gone, just like that
not the slightest trace

I must be going crazy
I thought I heard you call my name
but only silence greeted me
is my mind really playing games?

I thought I felt your tender touch
when I turned, you were not there
although goose bumps broke out on my skin
couldn't find you anywhere

you left me, oh so long ago
yet still you're on my mind
you'd think that I'd be over you
living life and doing fine

why then, am I seeing you
feeling your familiar touch?
why then are you haunting me?
why do I miss you this **** much?

I wish I could just let it go
banish thoughts of you away
I wish I could erase it all
or make it so you stayed

but I don't have that power
so here I am alone
hour after hour
trying to make it on my own

my mind is playing tricks on me
for here you are again
like I'm dreaming while awake
when will this madness end?

always the same, you show yourself
when void of company
when no one's here to witness
the way you come to me

perhaps I am going crazy!
it could be worse for me
at least one thing is certain
I won't ever again be lonely

I'll finally have you back again
and life won't be so sad
living in my crazy world
might  not be so bad

I may have lost touch with reality
I may be lost in wonderland
but I've made up my mind, I'm staying
reality will just have to understand