maybe in another life things could’ve been different
maybe in another life things could’ve worked
i crave you in the deepest way, forever i will want you
since my love for you is so deep i have to let you go
maybe in another life i could’ve been different i wouldn’t have showed you my worst sides
i have a piece of you forever but i want you
empty without you
i cant put to words how you make me feel
the things you showed me no one else could you made me feel on top of the world
i know i wont meet anyone else like you
i dont think ill ever want anyone else
when it first ended i tried to push all the feelings away
now theyre all rushing at me like the strongest wind and i have fallen
all i want is you i want you to hold me again i want you to comfort me again i want you again i want you close like i had you but i pushed you so far away
out of fear
trying to protect myself instead i blocked my blessings and now im left lonely missing you, maybe forever
if i try again if we try again i know it will never be the same
when you held me yesterday it almost felt the same but when you look at me its not what it used to be the side of me i showed you, it wasnt me
you showed me your worst but it didnt make me run it made me want to hold you closer i wish i could fix you i want to absorb your pain
the way i feel for you is something i dont think i could feel again
maybe i just have to pray that somehow you will fall into my arms again
maybe in this life it will work
maybe in the next life we can meet again
but forever i will love you

It is so hard
to watch you just now take interest in the things I tried to show you
And to wonder why you never listened
when I told you that the full moon cleanses a crystal if you'll let it
and how for your information my paintings aren't stupid
and they aren't for you even though you didn't say that out loud.

While the sparrow flies, the angels cry
For the beauty of you and i
Our passion shouts, and envy pouts
Like peasants who cant get dry

Friends at first, turned to love that hurts
For hearts are heavy now
Because nature evaded, a love that never faded
Until our trembling lips allowed

Gods have been shaken, once you became taken, because this passion knows no bounds
The heavens fear, when our hearts are near
Because together our love cannot be drown

Once a lie, became hate denied
Now the fairy tales are true
You are the one, and like the setting sun
Our rise will always ensue

*** there is no limit, to our absent gimmick
This is real as pain
With lovely bones, worthy of thrones
We are as natural as the rain

I want to find
pure happiness
on the mariana's trench
deep with all of the other
shipwrecks like myself
The ones who couldn't hold
it together even when the water
was calm

I want to find serenity
between the tetonic plates
where the two continents
were separated
like two souls on a
bone chilling winter night
like you and I were
when I saw the glimmer in
your eye fade away
a star died that day,
did you know?
I named all the prettiest
ones after you
3,888 stars
one dying every
day

You're never really
told about how to deal
with loss.
"You'll be okay."
what is okay?
I never really learned
what "okay" was. The
first time I heard okay escape from
someone's lips was when my mom
began accepting her failing marriage
and asked how she felt.
"Okay".
**** that word to hell.

I had a dream about you
and now all I can think about is empty cups
and branches without leaves
and the blank sky during the new moon.
I wish I could talk about the way
you make me forget I'm sick
and how tonight I want to be around you
because that's when things are kelly green instead of navy blue.

forward forward forward
going somewhere moving forward
whether progressing or regressing
growing or unlearning
coming or going
living, dying
everyone believes they are moving towards something
and as everything happens all at once
each perceptive reality is entirely different than any other
and each consciousness travels, and does, and is.
each consciousness believes it has a purpose or a path.
the purpose is not to see into nor plan the future.

from the civilian to the hero tv shows and movies
have consistently glorified the ability to see visions of the future
generally this is followed by someone trying to prevent
the happenings in said vision from becoming reality
and distinctly failing because they "saw into" the future
that their own energy influenced

but the true super power is to be able to look into the past.
to prevent the omitting of details and data
to avoid a rewrite of our conscious interaction with this planet
not to white out the chapters that bear the truth in the textbooks
to recall history so it does not repeat itself

my question is then
do people disguise the wrongdoings of those hidden by the passing of time?
because they are ashamed of the mistakes of their ancestors pasts?
because they are ashamed of their participation in past consciousness's?
because they are ashamed of the atrocities humans have inflicted upon each other and themselves as well as their home planet since the beginning of recorded time here?

or do those who have the power to omit and hide history
purposely rewrite it?
do they mask the pains of the past so the rest of us will forget?
so that even they can forget?
so their next consciousness can unknowingly, while predestined,
have hand in crimes against the world all the same as committed in the lost past?

how many times has someone written these words
or a similar combination
only to delete the post?
burn the pages?
backspace the message?
stop themselves from speaking them aloud?
cover the symbols?
pass out of conscious living mid sentence?
lose them to a past lifetime?

how many times has this cycled through the same way?
how many times have I been me?
how many times have you been me?
how many times have I been anyone?
how many times have I been?

is there a rhythm or is it all as scattered and random
as the thoughts that bring you
to this kind of an understanding of the habit of misunderstanding?
the kind of thoughts that bring you back to the birds nest because you were too early for even the worm?

they will all catch up eventually
after all they all think theyre moving forward
and they don't even know where they've been.
they don't even know that they've been.

On starry nights I use to go with you to that place you loved
Where you spent countless hours doing nothing but looking
We often went star gazing together, And being you I thought that was all there was to it
But there was that one night when the meteors showed their colors
The night where your face lit up like the Christmas lights hanging around your room
It was in that moment that I became yours forever

I am a raincoat on your way home, sheltering you from the storm. When its thundering and lightening my only wish was the electricity spreading through every single one of my veins to keep you warm. I could write and write but it's never electric enough to keep you sane. And every single sympathetic step towards the end, towards bathtub I wish I was the one who took the pain. I wish I was a toaster accompanying your stares towards the water and I'd slaughter all the distressing thoughts that make your mind wonder.
But the music in my head made it stop. Everything stopped and it was calmed at suicide. But how do you run and hide?
And how do you explain your neck slipping like butter?
The rope sending you into a suffocating slumber.
Do you say it was an accident?
Do you say it was the thunder? That sent you into a frenzy in which you'd never recover.
Now tape yourself together little wind up toy, just for a little while.
Because even rain or shine if someone asks you how you're doing, you always lie and smile.