I stopped hoping,
because I know these
hopes
dreams
are only just hopes and dreams, and will only be
demolished into bits of pieces,
burned in the fiery bonfires of all the hell before me.

I'm getting better,
slowly, a day at a time.

I still think of you but not as often.
I remember the good times,
but they're always marked with
an aftertaste of longing.
Longing for what?

Friendship.


I can't listen to No Doubt
anymore without thinking of you.

I cried last night,
for the first time
since the day before.
I was thinking about the best thing to do
and i decided (as I have a hundred times before) that it's to give you space
and let you come back,
if that's what you want to do.
I cried because I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to push you away.

I came to a fork in the road
I took it
for a few steps
then wandered back to where the road split
I wondered about the repercussions
how each affected life
finally I took the first
which lead me to my wife

You fell in love with me.

I just hope you jumped.
Not slipped.

College is a cancer clinic.
At this university, you either live long enough to die,
or die until you want to live.
Kids drag backpacks like bags of morphine,
and are attached to their planners like they are their heart monitors.
You do your own chemotherapy,
as you poison yourself with debt,
and Friday night nickel shots.

today after work i went to see you
and i shouldn't have
god i shouldn't have
because when you opened the door
i forgot everything i was going to
say. you looked so lovely- like you
had just gotten out of bed although
it was five pm- and you didn't tell
me what i wanted to hear but for
just a few minutes your words
were meant for me again.

Maybe someday you'll be lonely and understand how to be a friend.
Maybe you'll give me a call.
Maybe I'll pick up or maybe I'll have a new friend.

I don't want to write about you anymore
and maybe I'll stop.
It's not a question of what happens on my side but a question of what happens on yours.