all i know is
I’m never wrong
about you
my pristine dream
absent fires tell a story
of a flooded land
merged with nicotine
is how I would like to flee

tell my story like
you could no longer speak
split my violet letter
into two thick parts
each of them to hold
your tears that filled up carts

it’s not like I don’t miss you
I just didn’t think this would be
such a chaotic lane
but I’ll shout your name
one last time standing
on the trembling cliff

like the state of my life
where my ground was tamed
and I was within your story
but you ran out of ink
and never stayed

I never changed
I never will
I never caved
My baring quill
I never laid
A finger on the ill
And I will continue to bathe
Washing my fears out of their cells

Hope’s a fairytale
A figment of reality
Contempt for the pale
Quests conclude in mortality

Ruthlessly honest my life I lead
But for my emotions I selfishly conceal
My battles under the ground like seeds
Growing awry my desire to feel

I will not rest
until justice is served
but head left trembling
unsettled like a caterpillar
soon to be a butterfly
on a mighty burnt leaf
must the colors weave
the tremendous pain
heart pretended to sleep
for when the eyes close
mind is at peace
echos of emptiness
to everything that bleeds
lonely red soldier
unmask the alleged power
strip the garrulous walls
amaze the unhinged coward
squeeze the lemon
when moon deflowers
my soul will be waiting
on the edge of fanatic tower
catching ceaseless fires
drain my heavy heart
stitch it with barbed wire

on a quiet wood
there she stood,
a bright wild one
mysteriously fun,
flickering in a cold night
leafs crumpled in fright,
birds shivering in nests
a man burying his fists,
the neighbor lit a fire
closed the shop after one buyer,
she wore silver and broke the rule
he told her to wear black or he’ll be cruel,
beaten up on the streets of green hope
cleaners washed her along with soap,
“can you hear me darling,
who is responsible for the bruise?”
she giggled with tears and said:
“a man, like millions of men.
you’ll never catch him,
but he threw his cigarette in the bin!”
puzzled eyes staring at a victim
will they get an answer from the mistress?

I confused on a gracious land
confronting my demons
how can I keep having a light
when the sparks refuse to hold my hand

the love of my life left me
like an abandoned tear
a blind eye cannot see
but it can dim a heart that is dear

I never lied, dearest
it was you I wanted forever
never enough for you, I’m fleeting
I hope I stay alive until december

untreated wound my soul is
reaching, for something pure
I wrote your words on my wrist
to the furthest grave I drove

I write for the dead
whom I keep alive
long live the dead of the night
standing in my memory to keep it alive

I wail for the dead
devoted tears mended my spine
voices inside my head
conducted my fall

I lied to the dead
their graves haunted my grounds
faked my death to escape
but my soul got stolen in chains

let the dead live within
soon they will gnaw
at the deepest roots
until the soul cave in
howling of sorrow
longing for a rescue
but the body reeks
bleak and shallow
emptiness then
for infinite days

I was born to be a dreamer..
but the pain conflicted my hope
to tear up for the sake of love,
how deliberating to smile for the passion
that my dreams slowly came dancing,
for my recovery agitating the pain
..in the mornings I am a sleeper

night
when the day’s sun kisses us goodbye
the moon
shinier than all the bumblebees in my yard
I confide
in the stars, to them I wished to fly
flowers
in my room, to death they fought
papers
escaped to hide my pain, dimness is near
words
they dance, feet bleed until dawn
poems
they utter a powerful light
mouth
sealed off until death tear the soul apart
eternity
is a wisecrack
but the night
is enchanting
even my words
failed to describe

evade the sun..
my lustrous moon,
exotic!
my feelings, crude
melancholic..
I breathe a tune,
of manic!
my sun..
oh, so tragic!
tell me, moon
is loving such cruel
to jeopardize
a soul, so pure?

show me that you care
a mystical feeling of love
swimming over hopeless seas
we thought the wall we built
would repel any coming fear
but it shook our grounds
weak as the eve of your leave
you selfishly left thinking
I would still stand unfree
you came back winters later
my back lifted your feet
still invisible
still unclear
my soul to you
was a ghost wounding the needs

I have asked
so many questions
that are unasked
and how could I
keep on living
without a mask

I have been asked
to spit awful lies
to shut my heart
follow a narrow line
never turn back
unimaginable art

I was told to ask
never listen to my mind
questions were planned
purity, never aligned
genuine curiosity
a knife to my body, banned

‪you’re so good in this earth ‬
it’s thrilling the grounds,
the roots and leafs all shake
whenever you’re around.

my heart is yours
devour a piece my lover,
my share has been taken
hush now don’t stutter.

as I stumble through my path
beneath the dazzling stars
radiant, unspeakable
holding a fist and an arch
whereas I, tangible
nor mistaken for the light
glorious whispers
my brain is a chaotic mass
crawled into the sky
heaven won’t let me pass
unless my soul inflames
therefore pain, arise
mischievously tremble
a triumph of agony
a master of mind

birthed together we were
inside one womb
sharing the same wounds
and when I first saw light
I held on to you tight
thought you were my rescue
all my fears were fed to you
overwhelmingly defeated
a burden cautiously created
in the mornings I’m rigidly breathing
when the sun is out I’m bleeding
cuddled all my sorrow in the cabin
I yielded but you’re still in a famine
you’re draining me friend, let me sleep
I will wake you tomorrow
when my terrors lurk again

Numbing in my ears
Sensations around my eyes
Unable to forget the past
Eager to meet tomorrow
When yesterday’s pain
Bottled up over today’s
How easy is the present
When you don’t meddle
With the future’s consent
Eventually, your soul is settled
To find solace and pleasure
Breathable air you retain
For months, then half the weeks
Your own grip deftly lingered
It had enough woes to swell
And now you body is portraying
A life of a woman who’s a man
Yet hardly to carry children
Or grow a mustache

tears scratching my face
I turned 60, in two decades
nobody by my side, I’m limping
a moth surviving amongst butterflies
my life is nothing but polished lies
a child stabbing the mother’s womb
regretting the day they shared a tune
but she left her flowers in home
to die, whilst she got lost in rome
then she recalled her flowers are parched
the water is out and the walls are hatched
dry clouds did not rain for 6 months
they screamed for help to make thuds
amend the broken ones! split their pain
to bloom and grow without fears again

I dread the hours,
my world’s away.
as if living,
was a mistake.
never want to recall
another soul’s repression.
plunging words,
thud my grounds.
seeking whoever found
the arches and pillars.
then I, became a lover
and nearly a killer.
resemblance of a flower
my world is, parched.
of a steel gray mud
our essences rose,
sparkly white hearts led
innocents to a mighty road.
an albatross, sunken down
your heart’s a ship
and I, steadily sailing
don’t you ever frown.

your love
made me cry
like a bitten child
dwelling in blood, a mournful sigh.
child awaken like a butterfly
forgot the pain
eyes closed, reminiscing a garden
yellow leaves sung to testify.
who caged my tender heart
made a monster between dancing bars,
in the eve of my lurking to the stars
I made a pact to make an allusive art.
a memory of us down the river
asking the moon to kiss the widow,
and open doors to lead a purple rush
like a dove, I lay above your stomach in quivers