I keep trying to forget what we had
I'm done with my feelings
I'm not mad or sad
Kind of embarrassed but it won't show
You'll never know
How much I tried to forget
And trust me I do
Avoidance of memories is my goal
But the people you chill with won't leave me alone
I'm running home
Constant reminders
That your life is full of butterflies and all I have is spiders

You always leave when I need you the most
I fear that I'm just looking in the mirror
I wish I could say I loved myself
But how can I love someone I barely know
I'm here but I'm not
I hear but I'm not listening
I repeat but I'm not getting it
I explained the truth but tried my best to avoid reality
The sugarcoat on life is dreams
So when I stopped having them I felt dead to the world
A girl who closes her eyes and sees nothing but the darkness of another night
You always leave when I need you the most
I fear that I'm just looking into a mirror
Everything is so unclear
The person I once knew is nothing more than a blur
She disappeared
I'm a mere ghost
The one time I don't remember and it hurts

She is content with what she has but I always want more
I'm not myself
The poor are in need of necessities that will finally be enough
Dreams of being the next big thing
Fill my cup
Asking for more and more
But with wealth comes greed
These are the warnings we don't heed when asking for what we wanted

I am feeling very small
Like I don't need to feel at all
But numbness doesn't last
Only a step in my emotional fall
Give me the luxuries of a queen
And shower me with everything I could've wanted
And I still will not find my happiness
Because everything is as black as coal
As cold as a blizzard
That leaves 11 inches of snow
You can try
With material things
Buy me diamond necklaces and a ring
But it won't mean a thing
If you don't treat me as rare as the accessories and jewels
Money can't buy me love just materials
They have no heart
So you ask me if I'm happy
I reply with a thank you for all you have given
But I've been deprived of love
So my final answer is I'd rather have love than diamond rings
Because to me love is rarer than the most expensive items you can buy
Love is a jewel itself
Show me with actions not a stone
Because my heart is breaking
Due to feeling alone
It's only me and loads of cash
Wishing I had what I needed the most looking back

I was broke
I was down
There seemed to be no one around

I tell stories of my past
Foolish things I did
It's cool because I can look back and laugh

Some people I know get mad
I'm just glad
No longer naive

Lessons learned
I'm sure there are more ahead of me

I was broke
I was down
There seemed to be no one around

I ****** the things I need off the shelves
Put them in my baggy shirt and leave
Hands in the pockets of my jeans

Walking down the street
Cop sirens are all I'm hearing
Always looking back to make sure they aren't after me

I don't want to be charged for petty thief
Look people straight in the eye and lie to them

After a while of this
I couldn't feel guilt
I'm remorseless

I had a dream and the shoe didn't fit
I woke up and it did
My evil mothers magic
I was Cinderella
The one at the ball
Nah it was all a trick
When I came to realize
I was always the one who wanted the prince
But I never get him
I was the ugly face
That Disney made
They never do tell the whole thing
Like before that story
Because I was once sweet
But eventually my demons caught up to me
And jealousy fueled my hatred
I waited for him to save me
He never came
They call me evil but it's a mistake
Make up covers my face
But inside I know I'm a disgrace

Hole in the curtain
My father says keep the windows closed
The neighbors have cameras
What are they trying to expose
My father lies to find the truth
Eventually he stopped asking what was wrong
My mask was not coming off
He asks for lyrics
And I gave him a wordless song