I wonder what'd it be like to find my own body sprawled out in the kitchen
Another tragedy that could've been prevented
If the dumb girl had just vented
But honestly no one would listen
People would think she was crazy
And no one was guaranteed to keep her secrets
Too judge mental
She didn't need this
I wonder what'd it be like knowing the last thing you said was bye
And then find my slit wrists and blood on the floor tonight
I'm trying to stay strong
I know taking my life is wrong
Trying to convince myself I have too many reasons to live
But my brain is an active pessimist
It won't assist
She just wants to insist
My heart wants me to give in
My soul is trying to escape
She said that she wouldn't leave but it's too messy to stay
She needs to be cleansed
She is covered in dirt from being locked in the bin
Contemplating ending my own life
I hate pain but that'll end all
Watch my own body fall
Red rivers flow from my wrists
I wonder what'd it be like to find my own body sprawled out in the kitchen
Yet another tragedy that could've been prevented
But I don't want to talk
And they don't care enough to listen

My life had dissolved to meaningless
Trust issues don't ever end
Cautions
Every word is a lie
They were trying to find the truth I hide
A life with no thrills
Mysterious chills
My skin is cold
So skinny
I can see my own bones
All life was drained
A skeleton's pain
And nothing was working enough to take it away
So I wrote it down
The reason I like poetry so much now
It was the one way to tell the truth
And find out who felt the same as you
Whenever I'm blue
I grab paper and pencil
My barren slate
Vacant at the start
Filled with words before it gets dark
Poetry saved my life
The one way to vent
That I felt comfortable with

You come with the roast
Your big ego
I bring my pain
All my imperfections
Laid out on the table
There is no where else to hide
Forced into submission
Open your eyes
She says the roaches have finally come out
I say what do you mean
She points to the guys out on the street
Guy on the corner
Looking like trash
That's too bad I think in my head
She says that he is a roach
I said no, he is a human like you and me
Just because he isn't your definition of civilized,
doesn't mean a thing
You may have approached him at a time
And yes I don't know him
But I'm not blind
A broken soul knows those in the same boat
The window in their eyes
The spark that doesn't shine
She calls him a roach
I say don't
You may not know what it's like to live out of bags and not know when your next meal will be
Living off the streets
Bullets and sirens all over petty beef
Arrested by the police
For stealing the necessities of the day
Manipulated by the world to think all you need to be happy is money, drugs and hoes
You say you don't give because he'll just use it to smoke
But how can you look down upon them all when you really don't know
I was once like a roach
So please don't call them by that name
It's a shame
So easy to point fingers and pin blame
It's hard being a roach
You're just trying to crawl and they want you crushed
So you come out when it's dark
Hiding from all the scars and marks
Accepting rejection on a daily
Begging for money and clothes
Cused out for trying
Denying that you were ever that low
How do you know
You come with your roast
Your big ego
I bring my pain
All my imperfections
Laid out on the table
I remember when I was a roach
You approach me and have a conversation
He gets cut off though

Reading old text messages
That should've been deleted
My tears have finally depleted
Never got revenge on him
For all the pain he caused
Part of me still wishes
We were involved
Thinking of the past
Thinking of now
Reading old poems
Speaking my truth aloud
I am not still in love with him
I am in love with a memory
And I want what we used to be
Before the bitter things
I had a dream of fluffy blue and pink
Sweet and sticky
I had a cotton candy dream
Everything was fine until I woke up to reality
Thinking of the past
Thinking of now
Reading old poems
Speaking my truth aloud
I am not still in love with him
I am in love with a memory
I want what we used to be
Before the bitter things
Before I woke up from the cotton candy dream
When everything was still sweet

Blood sucker
Take my life
If I die
Will you be my ride
The ticket to lie down before the tide
Will you be my umbrella to hide from pain
Will you be my sunshine on cloudy days
Will you attend my funeral after I pass away
Blood sucker
Take my life
You were nothing more than a parasite
But you were mine
This caused me to give things a blind eye
You were nothing more than a parasite
But you were mines
That seemed to be enough to live life

Sometimes I think I hate them all
Sometimes I don't feel at all
I live and dwell in a dark space
I call this place home
Isolation is what I've resolved to
I'm better off alone
Although grieving and sad
It's better than being heart broken
The world doesn't need me
Millions of others that live and are breathing
Sometimes I hate them all
Sometimes I don't feel at all
It's nice to be happy
But I can't find the key
It's not like happiness will just land in my hands
I feel there is a hole where my heart used to be
Bad past experiences
I laugh at horrible things
Normal people would be mad or crying
Sometimes I hate them all
Sometimes I don't feel at all
I tried to grasp the thing I needed
But I just don't have the understanding
For showing so much sensitivity and weakness
Just opening your mind
Letting other people crawl inside

When the sun doesn't shine
And the rain won't oblige
And I've wasted my time

Feeling I've made a mistake
My heart can no longer take life

When my soul can't catch up to me anymore
And when I crash

When I dash past the warnings
And end up hurt

Where will you be?

You're disappearing
How can you expect me to call you a friend of mines
When you just turn a blind eye to all the troubles in my life

You reappear when the sky is clear
Yes you are loud
But your actions resound

Contradicting every word that comes out your mouth