Im done being nice
I am sorry but I can't
Do it anymore

I will use all of this ****** up **** to fuel me
..Push me
....Taunt me
Filter it into spoonfuls of motivation
Feel it's burning rush through my veins
Take it as it is and use the **** out of it
Drop kick the emotions and flush them out
Shove their faces underwater and drown them without looking back
Clouds flood the sky to cast shadows over everything
Winds pick up and swirl with great amounts of anger and frustration
Transformed and shaped into powerful perseverance
**** EVERYTHING
WHY SHOULD I CARE
I have what I have
I'll take what I can get
Things come and go
But **** everything
Nothing's ever good enough for anyone
That's what's wrong here
**** my silent violence
To hell with my broken heart
It's already broken and not getting fixed any time soon
Might as well **** around all over the place
**** those ******* who think they're the ****
**** traffic and those irritating ******* that make it such a hassel
**** those painful glares that stab like knives in my back
**** those ***** that judge and have problems with everything
**** those who don't know how to be patient and content
**** those who pretend to be your friends and then lie straight to your ******* face
And say all kinds of unproportional ******* about you behind your back
I see what I don't want to be
And it's in all these people
They **** me off with tremendous passion that ruins every ounce of my being
It builds up and builds up
Layer upon ******* layer
Anger on top of frustration on top of violence, irritation, disappointment and hatred
I take all of it
Bundle it all into one huge ball
Struggle to hold it all in
Red face turning purple
When I'm about to burst wide open
I strike a match and let it all burn
It burns down into this amount of nothing
This gooy sticky gunk that I can roll between my fingers
But I use it to pursue myself
I turn it into something else
Form it into a backbone and create determination
Persistent in working my mind
Training it to do this until it becomes a habit
Living within these people but completely separate
My mind is not like theirs
And I'll never let it be like theirs

To get to know me
And still be able to say
The things you say now

You took your boat and your paddle
And you set sail down the river of my veins
You took out your map and butterfly net
And you followed the lines to my heart
You disrupted the peace and the butterflies scattered
But you caught them all before they could go anywhere
You captured them and took them with you
Took them and yourself out of my heart
Once you got out
You let the creatures go
They fluttered up and around
But before they knew it
You cocked your gun
And shot them all dead
You murdered the wonderful creatures that give me a great feeling

Oh ******* **** **** ****!
Why does my luck ****?
I didn't even see it coming
Various thoughts keep on humming
Conscious tells me it's nothing good
But she basically told me that I could
And so I did what I did
And that was that
Right or wrong wrong wrong
It went on for long long long
But I found myself wanting more
Her boyfriend ended up on the floor
I need to wipe this smile off my lips
Oh my but oh those hips!
Stop! **** just stop stop stop
All these thoughts need to drop drop drop
Out of my head and out the door
Nothing like this ever happened before
I think about her like she's mine
But I'm pretty sure I'm at the end of the line
She'll never drop him for me
He's got the right equipment you see
But oh boy would I love her
Hold her, kiss her, touch her
But it's so wrong to think like that
I know this hope is running flat
It's only wishing from here on out
But my head is still filled with dreadful doubt

I cry my eyes out every chance I get
Sometimes I wish we had never met
Loving you is a battle within
****** levels running thin
I tear my body to ****** pieces
****** frustration steadily increases
Why the hell do I still care
No one else will ever compare
I've ****** everything to ****
Her love flickered and quit
And she's not the one to blame
It's me, I'm just not the same

Get the **** outta my head
Get up off my bed
Get out you hurtful chick
Quit being such a ****

What's so wrong about my love
*****, I will put you above
Give you every nickel and dime
Each moment made prime

But not if you treat me like ****
Come on, don't be dumb
Just imagine what we could become
Without you, I'm numb

You, darling, are my foundation
Fascination creation station
Here, I crumble at your feet
Broken, bleeding, incomplete

I fight the hope that's buried in me
I should let you go, set you free
But you swim around in my head
Like you own every thread

Pulling strings that shatter and snap
I've created my own trap
I'm stuck here loving you
But for her your heart grew

The picture changes before my eyes
Oh god I wish there wasn't lies
I want to wait
But **** this fate