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L Smida Nov 2012
Every time I hear a song by them
I catch myself...
I stop everything I'm doing
Listen to reassure myself
"Yep that's them"
Instantly my chest sinks
I turn to stone
But my heart aches
The words paralyze me
And I can't breathe
And their songs play everywhere
It's like this world WON'T let me forget you
It's crazy how you still have this impact on me
And you have no idea!
Whatsoever
How I feel
****
L Smida Nov 2012
Hello, Anger
It's awful seeing you today
But it's becoming a routine
Dreadfully
Constantly
Being in your presence
It only makes it worse
Go away
But stay
Because I don't wanna be alone
This tornado of a room we made
Dancing around hope
But there is none
Never will be
It's just you and I
And maybe Bitter will join us
The more the merrier
Aggravation is the star of the party tonight
Despair will bring the drinks
Loathsome can tell awesome jokes
Hell, we'll have a miserable time together
Please, just leave me alone
L Smida Nov 2012
I want to be able
To do this by myself
But I know that I can't
And that fact kills me
I can't do this alone
I need someone
But there's no one
So what do I do now?
I feel so hopeless
What do I do
When no one wants anything to do with me
What do I do
When no one else gives enough of a **** to try
All people do is give up
Walk out
Push me away
I can't do this alone
I need someone who's going to help me
I need someone who's willing to stick around
Through thick and thin
Why is everyone such a coward?
I fall for the ones
Who want something better than perfect
No room for flaws
I trick myself into thinking I can be that person
There's no such thing as perfect
So I guess we're both setting ourselves up for failure
But some how I'm the only one who fails
How is it that I'm always the loser
When I try and do everything I can
To make it work
When things get rough
I don't just back out
Like you
All of you
I do one thing wrong
And you all run for the hills
Like.....
What the ****?
I have to mean something to someone
Why do people run from me
When have I ever done anything that bad?
I don't understand
I must be doing something wrong
I wish I knew
I want to understand
Why I don't have anyone
Am I that bad?
It has to be me
I have to be the problem
Everyone else seems fine
But when it comes to me
No one cares
I'm hoping the answer to all my problems right now is that I just haven't found the right person yet
I'm lost without my other half
Lost.
It's so hard to focus on me
When all I want is someone to love
I say I want to be alone
But I really just wanna find that one person
All I need
Is one person
I'm going crazy without anyone here.
L Smida Nov 2012
I wonder now
Why I didn't try harder
Back then
For that kiss
That I want today
Still yet I wonder
What it would feel like
L Smida Nov 2012
In a town like this
I'd rather be completely alone
Than be surrounded by you people
I can't walk/drive through this town without getting ******
That's a really bad sign
I don't think I'm better than you
I don't have anything better
But your tempers and your drama
Needs to stop
I know it's ya'lls way of entertaining each other
Heaven for bid
We can't get along
What the hell else would we do with our valuable time
Without drama
What else is there
Hey uhm
Why not try sports
If you wanna hit someone
There's a thing called boxing
Or....
Throw some ball around
Exercise
Read books
Educate yourselves
Do drugs
Get wasted
Get along
This town is only so big
Your ex is gonna find someone else
That's all this town does
Is date in triangles
Or octagons
We all know we're ***** and *******
Why not tell each other what we don't know
Like all those facts your teaching yourselves out of those things called books
Get a job
Support yourselves
Fighting and complaining is an awesome way to make money
Good job
I'm so proud
We all
ALL
need to find better for ourselves
This town
We're gonna die here
If we don't get out
And I don't want to die here
I'm ready to move out
L Smida Nov 2012
So tell me
What's the point here
I've lived my life
For the sake of everyone else
I've tried to be the person everyone liked
But that didn't get me anywhere
I'm done with that
I'm focused on myself now
I need to find who I'm suppose to be
And I don't care if everyone hates that person
If its me then it's me
I can't keep doing everything for everyone else
I need to get MY life together
I need to be happy
**** everyone
Until they give me a legit reason not to
I'm done being the nice guy
***** this
*******
Deleted the original on accident. It was better but this will have to do
L Smida Nov 2012
I like the truth
Don't you?
I'd rather be told the truth
And have it hurt
Than be told a lie
And have it be carried on
With the truth
People can get over it
Quick
Lies...
They build up
In the end
Someone gets hurt
No point, really
Dragging it on
Pretending
Hiding everything
Truth usually finds its way out
Makes the liar look even worse
So what hurts worse
Being lied to
Or being told the truth
At least telling the truth makes you loyal
A decent person
Cut to the chase
Get it over with
No one likes a liar
If you can't handle the truth
Then get out of here
I wrote this once before in my notes. But I accidentally deleted it. Along with 2 others. (post next) The original was better. By far. I really wish it hasn't got lost
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