The sun is rising
And it is yet again
Another opportunity
To do your best
At anything you partake
To give with open heart
To hear with open mind
To feel without skin
To grieve and remain connected
To be faithful to
What is trith
And hold on
To the meaning
You glimpsed through
Psychedelic haze
That all on earth is one
Therefore to give is to receive
And purpose is that where the flow
Carries you in the direction
Where all that is not you
Disintegrates into thin air
And you are left with
That which is exactly you
Where doubt is absent
Where the feeling of
Transcending something beyond
Your limited experience
Feeds you with nectar
Of that one thing
The most nurturing thing
That no crowds and cheering
Would ever replace
For it is true
Felt most deeply
That connects you to all there is
As a therapist I chose a path in life that turned out to be so much more difficult than I ever imagined. Being praised by professors for my "talent" felt rewarding and even more so seeing the lives of people I worked with change... like that one boy who I ended up writing my thesis on - abandoned by mom and raised in a dangerous neighborhood, suffering from PTSD and ADHD he was the most disruptive kid in his elementary school. In a month of working with him I uncovered that he did not believe he was lovable. I remember the feeling that this was maybe the most important moment I would ever have with him and how necessery it was to say the right thing. So I praised him for having a heart that has the most immense capacity to love which is a gift to treasure. He believed me. Next time I saw him he said he decided to change. The rest of the year I watched him trying for the first time in five years and I realized then that the gift of being so close to the innermost of another human being is the most fulfilling place I could ever have in my life. So I spend every second I have free to improve my craft so one day I can rightfully say I know enough to speak it loud and clear. But if I could I would never charge for what I do now. Because I gain more than I give. And it is a blessing that majority of people too bound to external validation would never understand. There is depth in true connection that is the most profound thing I ever experienced. Yes, it is very difficult to get started in this field because it is so subjective and so filled with conflicted insecure people who do not wish to help you if they think you might have more potential than they do. I have some real enemies who are very close to the top of my field so I have nearly no help from all those people who promised to help me get started in my career. But if I had to die today I would have a few moments to be truly proud of
P.S. I suffer from doubts so the rant above is just a way to shake them off. Not many can understand my path, particularly those who just like the majority of modern people are painfully self-centered