I never knew a breakup
could make me feel so free

like a weight was lifted
no more pressure to be perfect

but now I'm back to missing them

the same person I can never escape my feelings for

why is it always you?

the hardest thing
is being in a loving relationship,
while knowing
they're not the one

I said I would wait,
and I'll wait forever,
so darling, please,
say yes

you’ve written for me
I’ve written for you
you’ve written for many
I’ve written for few
but from the moment I met you I knew
it would only ever be You

I will wait forever
For a second chance
That will never come

you don't want me

not like I want you

dresses get smaller,
children get taller,
life moves forward,
and I'll be here
in a photograph,
one that I'll never see
somewhere out there in a dumb magazine

smiling and staring,
cameras flashing,
like there's nobody there but me...

I broke down in a bridal boutique
knowing that it could never be me
drowning in ballgowns
I'm bursting at the seams
knowing you'll never truly love me

I had always imagined
that when that day came
you'd be beside me
holding my hand
but you're far away
far away with him
and I know now it'll never be me

I'm here
being fitted for ballgowns
so someone
can take my photo
I'll look so happy,
the belle of the ball,
but inside I'm crying
that I'm all alone....

I broke down in a bridal boutique
drowning in ballgowns
that you'll never see
I'm just broken
the way you left me
drowning in sorrow,
in a bridal boutique

In my heart there are hopes and dreams,
and all different beautiful things.
In my heart, there's a sunrise glowing and a warmth that holds me there.
And I think of the beauty in the world all around, in the clouds that roll across the hills,
In the clean smell of the rain, and the colours of the fall,
And it makes me happy, and I wish that others saw it too.

If you love your children, are you sure they know?
Have you said the words out loud?
Are you listening with your heart, when they're sharing theirs?
Have you given us a chance to make you proud?

Do you know who I am?
Do you really know?
'Cause you can't tell from looking at me,
That underneath all this happiness, inside there's a part of me nobody sees.

I wonder who I am.
Who am I?
I wonder who I'll be.
Who will I be?
What will my life become?

There are just so many questions inside me.

Am I good enough?
Am I pretty enough?
Can I learn not to care what others think?
Can I make a difference in someone else's life, and can others see true love in me?

Write me a story
Write me a song
Write me anything
I want to sing along

I, was always freezing
You, kept me warm

Now, I am cold again

I still remember the last time I saw you
and I remember the day I realized
it was really over

but life goes on, as things do
however, I still find myself
thinking about you

I’ve seen other people,
I’m sure you have too
but still, I really, truly do
myss you

Once upon a time
there was a broken girl
so worn down by the world
she couldn't carry on
she tried so many times
to leave this world behind
but she was stuck in a world that broke her inside

she gave up so many times
but convinced herself to keep going
she tried so hard
to make everyone happy
forgetting herself in the moments

much time passed, and suddenly she thought
well this isn't so bad
she left some people behind
no longer sad
she remembered how to be happy
remembered how to smile
found people that made her happy
she kept them close to her heart
she remembered how to love
forgetting all the dark

once upon a time
a girl was hurt inside
she wished that she could kiss this world goodbye

once upon a time
i was that girl
things get better, they do
don't be afraid to take some time

shut away in the darkness
too small
my knees shake
everything is dark
and I scream, but nobody comes
I can hear her outside
laughing at my pain
as I rest my forehead on the cool locker door
I try to let the pain fade away
but I'm still there
so small and weak
drops of blood trickling down my cheek
a while passes
my name is buzzed on the intercom
over and over
but I stopped screaming
because my throat is raw and screaming at me
I start to shudder and wracking sobs course through me
someone comes up and banges on the door
"------- Are you in there?"
I reply with a sob
and she says
"I'll go get someone"
a teacher comes
and she says
"----- are you okay?"
I'm still sobbing
and they cut the lock
because she won't tell them the code
and I'm free
but I feel more trapped than I've ever been

I just realized
How much has changed
In the month
I’ve been away

How much I’ve changed
As well as everyone else
And honestly, I’ve never been better

My head no longer swarmed
Of thoughts of death
Instead, I’m looking forward to what lies  ahead
The meds have kicked in
The therapy is working
The time of reflection
Has changed my inner workings

I’m better, so much better
Now that I have space to think
Time to spend with myself
Free of my endless worries

I’m now saying
Some words I thought I’d never say
I’m okay, maybe even good
And I like things that way

starry nights
bring me back
to the place I was
where I'm not anymore
a fresh beginning
cut from old ties
ready to begin
my new life

watching my breath
in the cool august nights
sitting by a campfire
a lone soul
in a big world
I'm free

This Is Me

I stare down
At the food in front of me
My hands shake
As I pick up my cutlery
My family is watching
Ever so carefully

Cut the smallest bite
Chew forever
I feel sick while eating
Every bite feels like a failure
Everyone watching me eat
Gives me so much anxiety
Telling me to eat more
But I can’t
Because my stomach is so full of butterflies
I can’t eat
I feel disgusted with myself
I go upstairs
And I cry
Because I can’t believe
That I just ate a meal
I hate myself
The thought makes me sick
I can’t
I just can’t eat

I wish I was kissing you
Instead of missing you

I climb on the back of his motorcycle
And he looks back at me, and says
“Hold on tight”
Suddenly I’m flying through the city
I feel so alive
Why can’t I always feel this free?
It felt good, while it lasted

I had a dream,
or a vision,
or whatever you call them.

my future,
and guess what love,
you were in it

I dream of laying in your arms
Watching beauty and the beast
I dream of kissing you
On New Year’s Eve
I dream of the future
And think of the present
And past
But it makes me sad
Because I have doubts that
These dreams
Will come true

you made me so happy
I forgot I was numb
you made me so happy
I didn't realize I fell in love

now it's too late
and I've messed up what we had
I'm sorry I still bug you
I just miss having you around

Shaking in my bed
As I tell myself it’s fine
Try to convince myself
I’m in control
And it’s not my starving body
That makes me sick

I want you
To be mine

the best times I had
were the ones when I was in your arms
when you would say the sweetest things
and you wrote poetry about me
and it made me smile and blush
nothing had ever made me feel that way

I'm not perfect, but you always told me you'd love me no matter what
I believed you
and then, cut to a few days ago
sitting on a park bench
you said a few words
that will forever be engraved in my mind
I held back the tears
because I know you wouldn't want me to cry
but I promise, the second I was alone
those tears started flowing

I thought we'd be okay
I thought we were good
I thought you loved me