Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody needs you like I do
I know that there are others that deserve you
But my darling, I am still in love with you

But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you

Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if they break your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

Everything I touch just turns to stone,

I want someone who will hold me when I’m sad and whisper in my ear to wake me up,

She told me how she doesn’t like how my head is always in the clouds.

She said “If you just grew up then it wouldn’t be so rough.

I just don’t want to leave this life all alone.

So darling please listen to these 4 words.

Please Keep Loving Me
Because our hearts speak fluently
So baby,
Please Keep Loving Me

It's been one hundred and twenty days since you left
But today
I smelled you
Opened up one of your dresser drawers
And smiled at its contents
Realizing
It must have been months since I'd opened this drawer
I pulled out a single blue t-shirt
You left behind
The only one
Out of the dozen others that you own
And stuffed into your seabag
You left this one behind
I held it up and remembered the countless nights I'd spent folding these shirts
Over and over again
I held it up and imagined you wearing it
And of course I had to,
I held it up to my face, closed my eyes, and then something incredible happened
I smelled you
You, not your shampoo or shower gel, not your deodorant or your cologne, not your laundry detergent, not even the boat smell that plagues half your wardrobe
I just smelled you
Something I haven't smelled in one hundred and twenty days
A scent I didn't forget,
But rather a memory I forgot that I remembered
Instantly it brings me back
Back to all the times I hugged you as you wore this very shirt (or the one hundred variations of it)
Back to all the nights I crawled into bed next to you and smelled this
Smelled you
Back to never thinking twice about this smell
Because it was normal, routine
It was you
Which means it was also me
It was nothing to drop to my knees and cry over
Nothing to thank god for
But that was one hundred and twenty days ago
And today
This shirt means everything to me

I don't think you know the extent of how much harm my ex has caused me
And how much she haunts me.
She caused me so much mental and emotional pain
And I have so much PTSD from that relationship.
I don't think you know how scarred I am from that relationship.
Even the slightest thing can cause memories to flash through my mind.
Simple things such as watching Tv, eating food in front of people causes me so much anxiety.
I don't think you understand.

No, wait, I know you don't understand.

I like you not just because you're pretty and smart,
But because you understand me
And what I'm going through.
We have had similar experiences
And you understand my diagnosis more than me.
Despite all my flaws, you still accept me for who I am
And that's more than I could ever ask for.