"It's not that I didn't love her-- I think I never stopped, to be quite honest. We just grew. Circumstances develop, grow differently and change; and so do people. The problem was when the two started growing in different directions. My emotions were set, my heart, my mind, even my body was set, she was set, the stage in my life was set, but the circumstances weren't. There's really nothing else to it. I love her, but there's no use trying to redirect the path of a tree that has already grown. There's nothing for us to go back to. All that's left is for me to keep growing away and forget about her.

               But you know I won't, don't you?"

a n d  
         i  
        w o n d e r . . .
         why
    is it  
          that
     i'm
          never
          **e n o u g h ?

the rain pours outside, and i become compelled to
pour my own self into a ****** poem that won't cover half.
pour my own self into a ****** poem that won't cover at all.

the rain pounds outside, and i become compelled to
cower into a corner and pound against my walls that don't budge.
cower into a corner and pound against the wall with my ribs.

the rain thunders outside, and i become compelled to
thunder my way into what i think i deserve that isn't even half,
thunder my way into what i think i deserve that becomes even less.

the rain is lighting outside, and i become compelled to
be lighting and light my way through rotten magnets that easily budge,
be lighting and light my way through rotten cement that won't give.

the rain intensifies outside, and i become compelled to
twist a beating ***** until i can intensify whatever's left to feel,
twist a beating ***** until i can intensity whatever is not.

the rain dies outside, and i become compelled to die.
die into a fine mist that'll leave a mark on everyone,
die in such a fine way that i'll be able to breathe again.

the rain pours outside, and i drown.