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Jan 3 · 41
Sad
Sad
This is my depression
wake up and try to fall asleep again
see how long I can make it before I get out of bed

                                      This is my depression
                                      skip all meals
                                      then snack a bit
                                      try to appease the rumbling of my      
                                      stomach
                                      and back to sleep

This is never ending
have a million thoughts come all at once
keep myself indoors trying to feel the beating of my heart

                                                          ­  There is no depression
                                                      ­      go about my day as if        
                                                            I'm fine
                                                   ­         mask away the sadness let
                                                            nobo­dy know it's all a lie
Krusty Aranda Dec 2022
I'm not even *****
I just wanna feel something
I'm alone in my room and everything just seems boring
And the thoughts inside my mind
are definitely still revolving
'round the same insecurities
I've had since I was younger
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
but I can't see the benefit
in still surviving what feels like a ******
Everyday everything's out of order
I just take the blows I'm dealt without the chance to recover
and I wonder
Will I ever escape this?
I've given it so many name
I no longer know what IT is
Yearning for that sensation of perpetual bliss
I grow scared of the idea of not enjoying what life gives
Guess it is what it is
I've been trying to change things
but every attempt is a miss
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this time I could finally get the win
Day after day
Night after night
Everything is the same
I can't believe I'm nearly 30
and I'm still playing this same old game
trying to figure out who the **** I should blame
Is it me? Is it you?
Was it us? Was it them?
When I was born they cut me out
like I was this perfect gem
and like a diamond I was built under the pressure of a thousand stares
Only to be dropped down the stairs
chipping off pieces of me
as I bounced off of every step
I'd say I have no regrets
but that's the kind of lie you tell to scare off people with fake interests
Choices I've made have hardly ever been the best
and the rest just haven't taken me to where the goal was set
Yet I still struggle every minute
every hour
I was told that the world was for me to devour
But I just lost my appetite
I'm going to bed without dinner
Sweet dreams and good night
Apr 2022 · 84
Sudden
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
She could find the beauty in me
before even I could

But she left so suddenly she took the secret with her
Apr 2022 · 200
Karma
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
All the pain I've dealt
Is coming back to haunt me
and, man, I'm a ****
Apr 2022 · 74
Untitled
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
If it wasn't meant to be something,

why does it hurt like this?
Apr 2022 · 242
Daydreaming
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
It's how I keep expecting
the fantasies in my mind
to be true
which makes the
much-too-real pain
sting for so much longer
Apr 2022 · 66
Same Old
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
I was half happy as the day began

By now, guess which half took over the other
Mar 2022 · 170
Anhedonia
Krusty Aranda Mar 2022
It's the things I can't remember
It's the wicked of the night
It's the underlying nature of
the things I try to fight
It's the secrets of my conscience
not the things I can deny
It's the sunlight in the morning
that I try so hard to hide
It's the words I do not scribble
It's the ones I cannot write
All these things that made a home of
the dark locker in my mind
Aug 2021 · 179
Life's Ironic
Krusty Aranda Aug 2021
What fate is worse
than to die
trying to avoid
being killed?
Aug 2021 · 175
In the Shadows
Krusty Aranda Aug 2021
I'm so tired
of running from my shadow,

I'll just let it
cover me
as the lights go
off
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
You're the Robin to my Ted
You're the Rachel to my Ross
But I can't just sit here and wait for the series finale
I don't know how many seasons are yet to go
Jun 2021 · 92
Don't!
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Break my heart if you must
It wouldn't be anything new

I can take it
I won't hate you

Just don't ******* lie to me
Jun 2021 · 1.5k
Anxiety
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
I sometimes feel I'm an annoyance
And sometimes comes very often
And often I feel I'm not good enough
Even though I give my all
All is just a bit too much
It sometimes feels so overwhelming
And sometimes comes very often
Jun 2021 · 86
Assurance
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Could anyone assure me

I won't die

from a self inflicted

heartache
Jun 2021 · 214
Quotes I find #5
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
It's a coreographed routine

of desperation,

trying to tire out

the thoughts stuck in your head
Jun 2021 · 1.9k
Wrecked
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
You made my heart race again

just to build a wall for it to crash into
Jun 2021 · 159
Quotes I find #4
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
If the mind

understands

too much about reality,

it wants

to destroy itself
Jun 2021 · 218
Quotes I find #3
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
And yet

a trace of the true self

exists

in the false self
Jun 2021 · 235
Needless
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
I am so trapped
I don't even know
what my prison is
Jun 2021 · 237
Quotes I find #2
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Don't

kiss a girl

and like it
Jun 2021 · 416
Quotes I find #1
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Fear is

useless

and

temporary
May 2021 · 215
Insecure
Krusty Aranda May 2021
The chest in my pain reminds me
of the skin I have torn off
my bones for having
believed every thing my brain has
overthought
May 2021 · 83
Meet me halfway
Krusty Aranda May 2021
We start alone, just the two of us.

Awkward glances shyly meet, as we hide our nervous smiles away. The space between us seems eternal. I get close, and slowly look for your hand. We finally meet in common ground. A gaze into your eyes tells you everything you need to know.
Now close your eyes.
Our lips meet and our heartbeats sync in a mix of excitement, adrenaline, and anticipation.
Open your eyes and fall into my arms, wrap them around you, and feel the warmth of my body that aches to know yours.
As we share a tender embrace, my hands start to travel down your slim figure, drawing a detailed map that'll be useful in a not so distant future.
Our breaths get heavy. Intermitent gasps and moans **** the silence in the room. You press your body against mine to feel my excitement.
You take my hand and guide it to your neck, wrap my fingers around it, and take in a deep breath. My other hand is underneath your clothes, and you get lost in the ****** of your body.
You turn to me and take my clothes off.
I rapidly do the same to you.
Our lips only separate to give way to our shirts as they fly accross the room.
Your skin on my skin feels as though velvet has graced me with its touch.
You lay me down and claim control. Our bodies dance together to the harmonies of our muffled moans and hurried kisses. My hands firmly grasping your thighs, wishing you never have to go away.
Your hipnotizing little ******* bounce to the beat of my thrusts.
Our rhythm gets faster, but our song only gets more sonically pleasing. You choke a scream as we reach the end of our perfect symphony, and dig your fingernails into my bare chest.
My fingers have traced distinct pathways along your back.

We lay undressed in bed, covered by the wicked complicity of the magic we've created.
Hands all over, we feel the dread of a goodbye lurking by the door.
Let me enjoy a little longer.
May 2021 · 67
Uncertain
Krusty Aranda May 2021
Explode onto me sweet overthought of my life choices
Drain me of my focus
Guide me to self doubt, and embrace my insecurities as you feed them back to me
Multiplied
Intensified
Shoot me up with the same self esteem I've trampled over,
see if it goes up, or infects me with a false sense of confidence
which will lead to dumb decissions, regret, and the same **** starting point of this ******* poem
I think, therefore I am
Yet I fail to be, lost in an ocean of "but what if..?", and I drown in the consequences of my own idiocy
I breathe in your judgement and exhale insecurity
A definition of me I didn't write, but one I did buy
May 2021 · 76
Fucking Stranger
Krusty Aranda May 2021
Saying "I'm sorry" is not good enough
when I've been denied for so long
I've been changing into someone else
Someone who's totally wrong
How can I go back to being myself when I know who myself is no more?

I barely have the memories,
but I have not the strength,
the youth,
or energy

I just go through the motions
following instructions
No will is left in me

For the longest time I haven't been free
I haven't been me
I don't know who he is

******* stranger
May 2021 · 80
Clinical
Krusty Aranda May 2021
Here I find myself again
scribbling the thoughts within my head
spewing words so I can breathe
to aliviate the strain on my throat
from swallowing screams whole

Again I'm imprisoned in me,
in someone else
In everyone
Everywhere

I forgot how to be

I just function by automation alone
a glitched, bugged program barely justifying its reason to exist
holding tight to the line of code for my sanity
I've been written,
programmed,
conditioned by others

For others

And what about me?
Where did I put myself?
Left last to not annoy with my problems
procrastinating on my own well being

Where am I?

At the bottom of the ***** laundry I failed to take to the basket
Under the bed I neglected to sleep on while insomnia payed a much anticipated visit
Stuck on the sides of the bowl of soup I didn't have the appetite to eat
In the last place I'd look because I'm so sure that's not where I left it

Yet here I find myself again
Broken
Lost
Distracted by the mere thought of living one more day
A day I will not focus on, as I waste away
Feb 2019 · 222
Al amor que rompí...
Krusty Aranda Feb 2019
Al amor que rompí... Rompiste... ¡Rompimos!

Construímos cerros y derribamos montañas
Pedradas,
o balas,
hirientes medallas de honor clavándose en la fresca carne de mi pecho
Brota la hirviente sangre, gota por gota, manchando el uniforme que porto con orgullo
Intacto orgullo
Mentiras y miedo
Fachadas pulcras ocultan el deshecho interior
Cobarde
Egoísta petición haces... Yo cumplo

Elevamos puentes para cruzar estrechos
Palabras que el viento se lleva,
convierte en huracán
y azota de nuevo en mi contra
En mi oído el estruendo del trueno que se estrella en mi mente
Desbalance químico
Apatía total

Te levanto para volverte a tirar
Me tiras para volverme a levantar
Levantamos la voz y el corazón por los suelos
recogiendo el polvo de la planta de nuestros pies
descalzos
callosos de tanto andar sobre cristales, clavos, carbones vivos
Vivos, y nosotros muertos

Al amor que rompí... Rompiste... ¡Rompimos!
A ese amor imploro
dame vida una vez más
Jun 2018 · 436
Amor
Krusty Aranda Jun 2018
A donde sea que voltee, veo amor
En cada rincón de la ciudad,
lo escucho en las canciones,
lo leo en la poesía,
lo veo en los ojos de las personas

Por mucho tiempo busqué el amor,
sin dirección,
sin un propósito,
sin saber siquiera qué era lo que esperaba encontrar,
lo que era el amor
No puedo negar que lo he encontrado, en varias formas,
de distintas personas,
en cantidades diferentes e intensidades variantes

Pero el amor no es algo que se encuentra
El amor se construye,
se cultiva con cuidado y cariño,
para, cuando este haya madurado,
cosechar el fruto obtenido
y poderlo compartir con otros

A donde sea que voltee, veo amor
y es que he comprendido que el amor vive en mi
Yo soy amor!
y no hago más que ver el reflejo de mi en otros,
el reflejo de la esencia que me llena y me da vida
Un corazón latiente, bombeando felicidad a través de mis venas
Con cada nueva herida, sangro nuevo amor
comprensión de mis semejantes,
de mis circunstancias,
de mi mismo

Por mucho tiempo busqué el amor,
y hoy, por fin me encontré
Jun 2018 · 356
Heaven..?
Krusty Aranda Jun 2018
Pensando en quienes se han ido antes que yo, me encuentro volteando al cielo, buscando el lugar en el cual por fin descansan.
¿Pero cuál es este lugar?
¿Es realmente el cielo como nos ha dictado la religión?
Y si no lo es, ¿por qué volteo hacia él cuando yo mismo no tengo religión?

No volteo al cielo buscando el paraíso prometido por Dios a aquellos hombres de noble corazón y fe inquebrantable.
En el cielo busco aquel plano existencial al que nosotros, los vivos, no tenemos acceso ni tendremos nunca.

En la infinidad del azul encuentro la esencia inagotable de las almas que llenan mi ambiente interior de paz,
de amor,
de inspiración,
de magnificencia y maravilla por las vidas que han dejado atrás
y sus contribuciones a la mía propia y a las de otros.

En las nubes veo sus rostros,
su arte,
su humor dibujando nuevas sonrisas en mi.

De noche veo en las estrellas el brillo de sus mentes,
el destello en sus ojos,
la luz que rompía en mil a la oscuridad,
y en la luna veo la compañía que nos dejan en las noches,
la protección del mal que acecha por cada esquina,
la mirada preocupada del padre cuyo hijo no ha vuelto a casa, buscándolo en la oscuridad de su habitación.

El cielo pierde su divinidad para dar paso al amor,
a la gente cuya vida no acaba más allá de la muerte,
la gente cuya vida resuena en nosotros,
en nuestras acciones,
nuestras palabras,
nuestras ideas y pensamientos,
recuerdos,
sonrisas,
lágrimas.

La gente cuyo cuerpo no está más,
pero vive aún con nosotros.
Apr 2018 · 378
Never Again
Krusty Aranda Apr 2018
I can't find my motivation again...

I feel the pull of my bed drag me towards it like I'm a discarded piece of metal subjected to the power of an industrial magnet, waiting to be put on the compactor and meet my clautrophobic end

I can't remember where I left my smile last night
I put it on my night stand, I'm sure... or did I?
Drunkeness forbids me from forming a coherent thought about the laughter I vaguely remember, or if it ever existed

I spit out the blood in my mouth from the grinding of my teeth like a rusty, old hinge that can hardly move to open the cage in which I imprisoned my own happiness

My arms can't seem to hold on tight enough to life, at least not today
I can feel the dread in my thoughts constantly taunt me, poking at every one of my imperfections, shouting at my low self esteem, and my guilt choking me to the point of unconsciousness, because I oppose not

The words I vomited along with all the beer, still stain my clothes and my skin, reminding me of the hangover to come
I will hate myself for having done so, and I will promise myself to never drink or love again

But that's a promise I never keep
Apr 2018 · 483
Sal
Krusty Aranda Apr 2018
Sal
Si la lluvia cae desde las negras nubes hasta el verde césped, creando un nexo entre el cielo y la tierra, amantes distantes y enemigos cercanos destinados a compartir una misma existencia, ¿por qué no podemos tú y yo?

Las palabras que no he dicho se agolpan en mi pecho y me abultan la garganta, pero no las libero, trago saliva y las envío a la ***** de mis dedos, desde donde explotan en el papel y dejan un rastro de sangre, a veces negra, a veces azul. Una escena de un crimen con un único sospechoso: mi corazón, el cual llevo siempre caminando a mi lado y detrás mío, ignorando sus avisos hasta que se detiene, se ancla en un lugar e irrumpe en mis pensamientos nublando mi juicio, alterando mi razón, destruyendo mi consciencia.
Grito en silencio mientras te veo reír. El estruendo de tu alegría enmascara mi desdicha, y casi lo prefiero así.
Eres el secreto que no logro mantener. El cristal oscuro detrás del cual me escondo sin darme cuenta de la transparencia de mis miradas, de mis risas, de mis manos. Eres el perfume de mis sábanas, la colilla de cigarro aún encendida que inicia el incendio involuntario que consume mi interior. Eres vida y eres muerte, y el suicidio que cometo a diario voluntaria y egoístamente. El arma homicida yace en tus labios, en tus brazos, en tu piel y en el pecaminoso pensar del cual soy víctima.

¿Cómo es entonces que te debo olvidar? Las espinas no sueltan mi espíritu decaído. Las llagas en mi piel no sanan si les echas de nuevo sal, pero sálame la vida, pues tu fiel seguidor soy.
Apr 2018 · 349
Coincidence
Krusty Aranda Apr 2018
I'm looking for that coincidence
that will lead me to knowing you

A "people you may know" appearance on my facebook profile

A fateful encounter at the same bar I've been going to every night for the past three weeks in hopes of seeing you again

A random chance of bumping into you on the streets in your home town, which I wander endlessly at night, carrying a mere tinder of longing to see you walk by

A strike of luck that we may share a four hour long bus ride, seats next to each other, and I promise this time I will talk to you instead of awkwardly trying to catch a glimpse of you while you looked away

I'm looking for that coincidence
that will lead me to knowing you,
because I'm too much of a mess to go and look out for you
Mar 2018 · 378
By Name
Krusty Aranda Mar 2018
As I walk back home from a stressful day at school, I can't help but recognize the heavy steps I've taken through the same old, claustrophobia inducing,
routine making street for the past three years.

It's so peaceful and quiet,
unlike my mind,
which erupts in strenduous racket at the sight of sanity,
even if it's a mere glimpse at it.

I want to break the silence and scream,
but as soon as I do, this dead street will come back to life;
cars won't stop passing by,
old ladies will rush to the front door, and try to take a look at what's going on,
dogs will start to bark,
which will scare the cats,
who will make the neighbours yell at them to leave their houses...

I wish to feel this alive.

I want my heart to beat like a drumkit being smashed on by John Bonham
I want my lungs to fill with air, and float away into the cloudy night sky
I want my voice to sing like Freddie Mercury in the morning,
like Whitney Houston at noon,
and like James Hetfiled at night,
all on my own.

I want my hands to hold on to my mother and father in the wake of my departure.
I'm not ready to leave them yet.

I want my head to stay quiet,
my mind to stop working,
my memories to fade out,
and my anxiety to consume all.

People think psychologists know all the answers,
that we can't
or won't
or shouldn't get angry,
sad,
anxious,
joyous,
euphoric,
suicidal,
depressed,
lonely...

We are still humans,
and we have it worse than anyone else.

Every single person has their own demons,
but we can call them by name.
Mar 2018 · 344
Tonight
Krusty Aranda Mar 2018
I need your arms tonight
The tears roll down my face, and I don't have the courage to dry them off
They stain my cheeks, drawing distinct patterns in my sorrow
Can't type a cowardly hidden word because I can't seem to find the will to go look for it, even though I can see its feet sticking out under the curtain
I, alienation, need your company
I need your arms tonight
Mar 2018 · 319
How long?
Krusty Aranda Mar 2018
How fleeting will this feeling be?
One week?
One month?
One year?
One lifetime?
Feb 2018 · 340
I am
Krusty Aranda Feb 2018
At times I don't know who I am
What do I want?
What do I say?
What do I think? What do I do?
I'm a cluster of bad decissions,
of impuslivity and overthinking
at the wrong times
I pawn my heart to whom I mustn't, and take it away from whomever dares buy it
I'm the selfishness of early childhood,
the stubburness of adolescence.
I'm the laughter of the insane,
the silence of noise,
the personification of incoherence, and I've come to substract sense from this world obsessed with false truth
I'm the definition of what can't be defined
I'm the abstraction of the concrete
I am all, absolutely all,
but one thing
I am not me
Feb 2018 · 278
Soy
Krusty Aranda Feb 2018
Soy
A veces no sé quién soy
¿Qué quiero?
¿Qué digo?
¿Qué pienso? ¿Qué hago?
Soy un cúmulo de malas decisiones,
de impulsividad y sobrepensamiento
en los momentos equivocados
Empeño mi corazón a quien no debo y se lo arrebato a quien lo compra
Soy el egoísmo de la tierna infancia,
la necedad del adolescente en plena pubertad.
Soy la risa del demente,
el silencio del estruendo,
soy la incoherencia en persona y he venido a restarle sentido a este mundo obsesionado con la falsa verdad
Soy la definición de lo indefinible
Soy la abstracción de lo concreto
Soy todo, absolutamente todo,
excepto una cosa.
No soy yo
Dec 2017 · 1.0k
Fear
Krusty Aranda Dec 2017
Today I live in fear

I woke up afraid of the same pillow that comforted me last night
It felt as if my dreams had been soaked up by it
My thoughts dripping out of my ear, one by one, dampening the cloth with which it's covered
My bed wanted me to stay, to lay away forever
Prevent me from going anywhere, pulling me towards it
I was a discarded piece of metal being pulled by the giant magnet that would take me to the dumpster to be crushed next to my scrap brethren
I am afraid of the wind blown from my fan
The cold on my skin burns as my sheets hold me tightly in place
I'm afraid to get out, to step on the floor, one foot at a time
To sit up and gag
To stand up and throw up all the regret, the unspoken words, the tears I so cowardly saved to myself for all these years
The 9 beers and 1 tequila shot
I'm afraid to text you
I'm afraid there will be no reply, the silence, the distance
What is said and what is not
What I know, what you won't fix
I'm afraid of losing this game
I'm afraid of playing my next hand, to look at the cards I've been dealt and find nothing other than hopelessness at the lack of anything good
I'm afraid to write this poem, to let my words gang up on me, and beat me up mercilessly as I can only type on and cry out your name
I'm afarid I won't be here tomorrow
I'm afraid you won't
I'm afraid to be here right now, as I was afraid yesterday
Afraid of the new year
Afraid of our Christmas dinner
Afraid of us, of everyone, of no one
I'm afraid of being alive, dancing in this graveyard of broken dream, of complaints and looking at the floor unable to gaze upon my very own dissapointments
I'm afraid to admit I am worthless, but also afraid to do anything about it
I'm afraid to be everything you were looking for, and missing the mark completely
I'm afraid that I'll hurt you, and that I commited a sin I don't regret
Like Jesus I hang nailed to my own cross by the acts I commited and ommited, while words spurt out of my wonds and into this text screen, as I terrifyingly try to tell myself, it will be ok
I'm afraid it will be ok

Today I live in fear
But I guess I live
Nov 2017 · 404
Krusty Aranda Nov 2017
En nuestra adversidad nos encontramos
buscando aquello que no sabíamos reconocer
anhelando lo que no quisimos
tentando al destino
burlando a la suerte
en tus ojos mi mirada
en tus manos mis días y noches
en tus labios mi nombre
confundidos caminamos
avanzando paso a paso
cayendo en el camino y levantándonos de nuevo
siempre juntos
con el mismo destino final
desconocido y familiar
invitándonos a sentir
a dejar morir parte de nosotros
para ser revividos
con fuerza renovada
y emociones encontradas
construyéndonos de nuevo
de los escombros de temblores pasados
saliendo a respirar de nuevo el aire
del cual fuimos egoístamente privados
me invadiste como una plaga
rápidamente infectándome
y curándome del mal que antes padecía
sonrisas y carcajadas
lágrimas y besos
la idea del amor más puro
de las estrellas conspirando en mi favor
para escribir en mi firmamento
la nueva historia que hoy contamos
sin un final cercano
Oct 2017 · 313
... Es que no puedo
Krusty Aranda Oct 2017
No es que no quiera;
es que no puedo.

La afinidad de tu voz con la mía,
la necedad de tus argumentos,
el sarcasmo en tus bromas,
la intensidad de tus emociones,
la calidez de tu mirada,
la elegancia de tu rostro,
la suavidad de tus labios,
media luna en tu sonrisa,
la vainilla de tu esencia,
el vaivén de tu cabello,
la constelación de tus ojos,
el universo de tu abrazo,
el edén de tus besos,
el pecado de tu ****,
la pureza de un "te amo"
...

Dime,
¿cómo puedo poner en palabras todo lo que eres?
No es que no quiera;
es que no puedo.
Sep 2017 · 430
Furious Anger
Krusty Aranda Sep 2017
Enraged I throw my fists
In flames my soul, it wilts
In red my vision stops
With blood I stain my clothes
You'll shriek and I will scream
With laughter **** your dream
Struggling to land a blow
Your hands are getting cold
A mocking grin to view
Insanity ensues
Anger in my motions
Fear your only emotion
The beggar and denier
Can't stop the raging fire
Igniter of all instinct
Life or death, it is not distinct
I satisfy desire
Burn out inside the pyre
Breathe not a second breath
You're now free from dread
Jul 2017 · 524
Desnúdate
Krusty Aranda Jul 2017
Desnúdate

Desnuda tus miedos frente al espejo
deja caer tu cabello cobrizo sobre tus hombros
y tus lágrimas amargas rodar por tus mejillas
Desnuda tus alegrías y tira la ira sobre la cama
que en el piso yazca tu tristeza, a tus pies y bajo el tocador
Desnuda tus pasiones y envuélvete con ellas
palpa tu figura con delicadeza y lujuria
que los besos de otros labios te recuerden que eres pura
Desnúdate en la cama y vístete con el calor de otros brazos
con el roce de otra piel
con la respiración pesada de otros pulmones
y el ritmo de otro corazón
Desnúdate bajo la lluvia con el frío de cada gota
con lágrimas en los ojos
y el dolor familiar de las heridas de antaño
Desnúdate de noche en la oscuridad de tu cuarto
Desnúdate de día y que el sol toque tus piernas
que la sombra busque tus nalgas y haga relucir tus senos
Desnúdate para ti
Desnúdate por ti
Desnúdate al completo y permítete sentir la brisa en tu piel
la tierra en tus pies
el amor en tu corazón
y la vida en tu ser
Mar 2017 · 353
Pain!
Krusty Aranda Mar 2017
I will never follow you
I won't do the things you do
I won't think of you, I swear
I don't even think I care
So turn around, and walk your way
I'm coming home to you some day

I am never coming back
You think that I'm gonna crack
Walking out the night is cold
Find something for you to hold
Hug it tight, and kiss it well
I am falling, can't you tell?

You can't see me when I cry
I can't hear you say goodbye
Breathing out the air is thin
Maybe it's time that I come clean
I was not in love with you
You were only something new

Running slow and walking fast
We were never built to last
Thinking of the days now gone
Here I'm writing all alone
Catch you by the morning sun
Tear the blinds in this our home
Mar 2017 · 889
Grammar rules... (my life)
Krusty Aranda Mar 2017
You* always comes before *I
You always comes before I
You always comes before I
You always come before *I
Krusty Aranda Feb 2017
Gracias a ti aprendí a escuchar la letra de mis canciones.
Me enseñaste a escuchar más allá del ruido,
a entender las emociones que yacen debajo de una melodía,
debajo de una tierna voz.
Aprendí de ti que una palabra no significa nada,
que los besos no temen al mañana,
que un abrazo vive y muere en el hoy.
Gracias a ti aprendí que una amistad no es lo mismo que un amigo.
Una relación carece de calificativo
cuando dos personas conviven,
ríen,
lloran,
beben
y se enamoran
si, al final, todo queda en el olvido.
Comprendí que mis poemas exponen mis mentiras.
No te amo y te enamoro en rimas.
No te busco y aún así te encuentro.
No te sueño y maldigo al amanecer.
Me enseñaste a no llorar,
a engañarme y a herirme.
Que un deseo es un puñal,
un sueño una granada,
un anhelo un exterminio de mi propia sanidad.
Aprendí de ti a no juzgar a una persona.
Que saber su historia no es conocerla.
Que follar no es estar enamorado.
Que un te amo no es igual que otro.
Me enseñaste a caerme y me enseñaste a levantarme.
Me enseñaste a no quererte y a empezar a odiarme.
Me enseñaste y no sabías lo que me estabas haciendo,
a pesar de comentarlo día con día y verso a verso.
Aprendí de ti que la vida no se acaba,
que la muerte no me acecha,
que mi día es eterno,
que para siempre es un segundo
y que un segundo es para siempre,
que el amor no mata,
que los besos no envenenan,
que no eres para mi...

Gracias a ti aprendí a escuchar la letra de mis canciones.
A distinguir entre voces,
entre coros y solistas,
entre emociones ficticias,
entre verdades y mentiras.
Feb 2017 · 905
Me gusta...
Krusty Aranda Feb 2017
No me gusta tu sonrisa
ni tus ojos
ni tu pelo
No me gusta tu mirada
ni tu tacto
ni tu cuerpo
No me gustan tus palabras
ni tu risa
ni tu llanto
No me gustan los clichés
que ya tanto
se han contado

Me gusta ver el sueño
que aún pasea por tus ojos
Me gusta la explosión
de carcajadas en tu rostro
Me gusta la pasión
con la que escuchas tus canciones
Me gustan tus eructos
resonando en los salones

Me gusta la poesía
que redactas tan vilmente
Me gusta la tormenta
que desatas en tu mente
Me gusta tu perfume
de cervezas y tabaco
Me gusta el sentimiento
que te invade a cada rato

Me gusta cuando bailas
con la música en el alma
Me gusta cuando conduces
y pierdes la calma
Me gusta cuando te aíslas
y eres tú tu propio mundo
Me gusta cuando hablas
cuando yo me quedo mudo

Me gustas tú, serena
Me gustas tú, exaltada
Me gustas tú en mis brazos
y si no te gusto nada
Me gustas tú en poemas
Me gustas tú en mis rimas
Me gustas tú, imperfecta
Me gustas tú, prístina
Feb 2017 · 562
Palabras y Letras
Krusty Aranda Feb 2017
Te he convertido en palabras y letras
en versos y rimas
en prosas benignas
Tu nombre he cambiado y callado
lo he mutilado
lo he trastocado
Tus palabras las he replicado
he parafraseado
incluso citado
Tus ojos ya he desgastado
descrito, admirado
abierto y cerrado
Tus labios de nuevo he besado
calientes y suaves
rasposos agaves
Tu piel he convertido en mi manto
un cálido abrazo
tu cama en marzo
Tu idea en mi he explotado
perfecta e impoluta
de acción resoluta
Te he convertido en palabras y letras
en líneas y temas
en frases y poemas
Jan 2017 · 614
A single day
Krusty Aranda Jan 2017
Can I die for a single day?
I just can't stand to live today
My thoughts are scattered
My mood is gloom
I need space
I need peace
Numb me of all sensation
Cut the cord
Oh, what temptation
Trick my mind into a coma
Bring my heart into a halt
Asphixiate my pain
**** it all, and **** me too
But do it for just one day
Just for today
Wake me up in the morning
Bring me coffe and a piece of toast
Kiss me, and tell me it's all right now
Tell me it's all gone
Tell me I don't have to die tomorrow too
Jan 2017 · 305
What am I?
Krusty Aranda Jan 2017
I see my face in the mirror
I see my reflection on the glass
And everytime I do, I am more and more disgusted by the image staring back at me
What I see is a manifestation of the demons that hunt me, slowly eating away my skin, leaving nothing but blood and bone
I am nothing but a wrapper, easily discarded once it has ceased to be useful
I am empty space
I cannot be filled anymore for the walls are too thin
My pores easily sweat the feelings I once held so dear, and all that's left is the cold air of emptiness
The last of me has evaporated to fly away with the wind
I am dread
I am pain
I've become what I once loathed
I am dead weight slowing myself down
I am the pebble in my own shoe
I am here and gone
I am not
Nov 2016 · 307
Eager
Krusty Aranda Nov 2016
I was so eager to know you
that I forgot to meet you first.
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