there is a certain sadness
and a certain beauty
in finding treasures from our past.
that old CD
that you used to listen to on repeat
over
and over
and over again
beaten up and scratched
until you wore it out
no longer fits into your music library.
that t-shirt that you wore to every musical audition
just for good luck
no longer fits around your sides.
and that photo of you
and your high school sweetheart;
where is he now?
his letters stopped coming at christmas time
about three years ago.

nostalgia is a friend
and a foe
but it is sometimes
one of the only things
that can keep you the happiest
when you've no where else
to travel.

This is not a poem of heartfelt emotions
Or of declarations of love.
This is a poem of me.

No longer will I be chained
To love's unending torture;
wishing and hoping
for the same devotion
my heart gives to you.

I will not adhere
to the burden of your perfection
I have placed upon myself.

I will simply be me.

With courage and confidence
I will break the heavy bonds of my hope.
I will burn the pretty picture
I've painted in my head
Of what we could have
Of what we might be.

I will look at who I am
And instead of wide-eyed dreaming
Of the life we could have,
I will love the girl I see in the mirror.

I will not want to alter her
Or change her in any way,
She will be everything I want her to be.

Then, I will finally achieve the perfection I long for.
Then, I will finally be free.

These memories are part of me, they're wrapped around my soul,
Each sound you make is joyful but it's not me that you hold.
Time has lessened little pain from when the wounds were new,
When you left me with a void that nothing can undo.
I'm not completely bitter, happiness I do still feel,
Like when I think about the kisses you'll never get to steal.
Your hands were rough and worn, I still feel them on my skin,
As gentle as they were, the monster lived within.
At first it hardly showed, then slowly more and more,
And it didn't go away until it found what it craved for.
Before I could react, it was far too late,
The boy I thought I loved began to slip away.
I swear I tried to help, but I wasn't strong enough,
I couldn't save the boy I thought that I had loved.

You'd call it puppy love;
you'd say it was all in our heads.
But you know what?
We're wide awake sexting,
when we "should be in bed"
resting

our hearts, for long days
have left them
weak and fatigued
from trying
to function
whilst the
other is
so far
away.

Sometimes even a mile lies between us!

But when we come together (no matter the place)
we don't pay attention to time
or space
as we intertwine:
ruling eachother's hearts and heads.
But not yet beds.

But we're close.

The words that pour from inside my head,
Are free here, releasing the dread.

No longer banging on my brain;
No longer driving me insane.

The expression that this poetry brings,
Lightens my heart, gives it wings.

My precious out-pouring of my soul,
Begins patching up the emotional holes.

For all who lack the time of day,
These words I write supply their say.

The world around inspires me,
Opens my eyes, and makes me see.

When I find myself without a choice,
These words I write give me a voice.

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

I want to sleep forever and reside in my dreams
           To frolic through a collage of different spectacles and scenes
                An escape from the insufferable, cruel world at large
I want to sleep forever

I want to sleep forever so I can live in my dreams
           The ruler of the lands, the queen of all kings
               With nothing to fear but the darkside of the conscience
I want to sleep forever

I want to sleep forever and fight my inner demons
        Provide peace of mind for all bothered and exhausted
              Float on utter bliss; those monsters, I'll never miss
I want to sleep forever

I want to sleep forever and never show sadness again
        Bright, long-lasting smiles on weekly sullen days
             Created and maintained in a variety of ways
I want to sleep forever

I want to sleep forever to erase everything
       I want to sleep forever and feel warmth again
           To bathe myself in content that won't ever end
Let me sleep forever

perhaps-
perhaps its just a mistake
a terrible mistake
a mistake made against his will
his fragile will

i can't expect perfection
for im not perfect myself
i am flawed

it is my flaws that haunt me
and tell me i should forgive, forget, and let live
continue to love
only partially broken
but making myself mend
what wasn't my mistake
in the first place

but of course
it was all
just a terrible, unforgettable mistake
that he made the choice
to make

Just between you and me
I'm hopelessly scared of what is to be
I just want to sleep at night
But thoughts keep my eyes from stopping their sight

Your arms around me; your lips on mine
Stops all my worrying and stops all time
You tell me you love me and kiss me again
I tell you I want you and won't let this end

This summer could be our last
Are you frightened of this b'coming the past?
Your future's open so wide
I want you to know I'll stay by your side

Our smiles could light up a room
Our feelings, contagious, and all but too soon
Everyone knows we're in love
So, once again tell me we'll soar up above

We're meant to be, made for each other,
We are our own and know we'll stay lovers
For every time our lips touch just once
Butterflies fly high and sparks still erupt.