Do you find me in between lyrics in your songs ?

You' ve changed .

And i cant point at any event and say " it happened then" ...It just happened.

Like a snow storm and flurries and it adding up before my eyes.

I never realized how much hurt had accumulated... till i was standing knee deep in sadness.

How pathetic is it
That everytime I hear the roaring
Of a diesel engine
I turn around to glance
Secretly hoping it may be you
But you sold your truck,
And you no longer come out
To this part of town.

How pathetic is it that everytime a sad song
Creeps up on me
On the radio
My heart begins to pound
And the sound of your voice
Swirls around in my brain
Like a never ending vortex
And I'm reminded
Of everything you once said
The song may be over,
But I still remember it word from word
And I always seem to find it
Still stuck in my head

How pathetic is it
That still to this day
You're the only soul that's ever gotten
To me
So deep you pierced my heart
Your mark is within me forever
And it never will heal
The scar will forever be noticable


How pathetic is it
That when I lay down at night
I replay the whole past in my head
I remember every word
Every detail
And the exact way you said my name
And If you said my name
One last time
I then could die a happy girl

How pathetic is it
That you control my every day
Yet I have not seen you in almost a year
And you are always there waiting for
Me
In my dreams
I just can't seem to escape from you
And once I awake
I'm left feeling as if a hole was punched
Through my chest
I feel so empty

Maybe tonight I'll be able to
Get you off my mind for a little
When my blood is flooded with alcohol
Even then,
You cross my mind and I feel
Myself wallowing in my own sorrow
Dreaming of the future we could have had
And wondering where it all went wrong


Its beyond pathetic knowing
I'll never get over you
Even though you're over me
And long gone
Never to return to this part of town

I'm pathetic and I'll admit it
Only because maybe you'll see
I need you
And come back and save me

The Earth was ours.

We filled its fertile fields full of
Plants of our own choosing: our own design.
To provide for ourselves we drained the Earth
Because the Earth was ours.

We populated the islands that
The Earth had built for us from its own skin.
Like parasites we kept it alive for our needs
Because the Earth was ours.

Then one day the Earth spoke:

You who crawl over my face,
Unthinking for the blemishes you build.
You till my skin and plough my bones, you drink
My tears and feast on my flesh. Slowly, my fiery
Vengeance has brewed, bubbled upwards
And wrath shall be known.

It will begin as a rumbling.
You will think I tremble with terror at your might
But the movement of your monuments is more my
Laughter at your lowliness. The hallways of your houses
Will be hewn by themselves as my body convulses to be rid of the
Sickness of you. You will sound your two-tone Armageddon sirens
In vain as my thunderous thoughts tumble your towers
Fragment your foundations. Break your brick walls.
Stone on stone will spark, igniting infrastructure
And your cities will burn.

But it is just the beginning.

I will bury you.
I will bury you in the fire of my fury.
I will bury you in the ashes of my anger.
You will solidify, screaming, into silent stone.
You will choke, child-like, on my smoke.
You will die by my hand: your home.
And I will bury you.

And this to me is easy.
I am greater than all you build from
My body. So I use my body to wreak ruin:
Reduce your greatness to rubble and dust
Because the Earth was always mine.
I was always my own.

he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter

I didn’t doubt that truth was a liar
your “I love you”s tasted sweet
but poison a king will happily eat is usually hidden in delicous foods
and he will exclaim it tastes delightful unaware he is dying
I didn’t doubt the stars we’re on fire
I could feel their warmth from the ground
I could feel the burning flame in your touch on my leg, on my soft, unloved cheeks
I saw the burn marks on my body
I doubted that you loved me I
saw the emptyness in your eyes and I felt it in my heart
I searched for something in your words
there was nothing
It wasn’t maddness that took you away from me
I was a kiss on the stairwell to you
You were a kiss under the covers to me
You stabbed my father
You stabbed me over and over
the field of flowers were more promising
than whatever your revenge could give me
The arms of the river were safer than yours.

That’s why they call it falling in love
because at best it’s going to hurt
and at its worst
you end up splattered all over the concrete

exposure to you was the worst thing that could've happened to me, you taught me wrong and that it was good to hurt. you told me i wasn't good enough, that i was an introspection of disaster just waiting to happen. you weren't ever a loving hand to hold, you were the hands that burned me. you told me i was spiteful, naïve, and that i sang all the lyrics to your favorite songs wrong. you always walked around with balled fists and eyes darker than the embers sitting in the fireplace from love letters i wrote you that you didn't even pretend to read, in that moment i'm pretty sure that i burned holes into my shoes from staring at them for so long. i tended to tiptoe around you because you cut my lips with broken promises and gave me swollen black eyes. when i was with you i learned that the truth hurt because with you i didn't just get a slap on the wrist, i got 3rd degree burns from the words you said to me that are forever burned into my heart. i can't remember the last time i took a breath without getting choked with the hands of a man that was supposed to love me. the day i packed my bags was the day you told me malevolence would follow me wherever i went, i chose not to believe you. but i was wrong because you can see the burns, bruises, and cuts to prove that you kept one promise.