The temptation
to disappear from the face of this world
To disintegrate
Transcend time
To be who I'm supposed to be,
not who I think I am.

I would rather live
in a cardboard box
with someone I truly love
than have everything
with someone else

It's you against the world
And you think you're too far gone.
Lost to the point of no return,
You're barely hanging on.

There's too much pain to handle
And you'll do anything
To keep from hurting anymore
So your fighting fists keep swinging.

But there's no such thing as hopeless
You're never too lost to be found.
You don't always have to start running
As soon as your feet hit the ground.

Not everyone's out to hurt you
So let down those guarding walls.
Brick by brick, just drop them
Throw them, crush them, watch them fall.

But things cannot get better
If your feet stay on the path
That's leading you to nowhere
Except a pit of endless wrath.

So turn around right now
And give your best in all you do
Turn on the light, start doing right,
And the best will find you too.

it's 6:56am and I can't stop thinking
about the way you held me
at 6:56am on January 25th
and how complete I felt
with your arms around
me and my heart
in your hands

but now it's 6:58am
and I can't stop thinking
about the way you crushed
my heart on March 4th
and how lost I felt with
no arms around me
and my heart still
in your hands
S.W

I’ve made mistakes
I’ve crossed lines
Not all wounds
Heal with time.

I’ve drifted away from myself and my own,
I’ve gone off the deep end, left my own home.
I’ve reasoned with winters that promised a summer,
For a single soul I sacrificed others.  

Lost in the woods, I saw my reflection,
Seeking answers, I found more questions,
I breathed so deeply I lost all my senses,
My mind only thinks in perfect past tenses.

The fish in the sea, the birds of the Earth,
Your lies and your sins, what’s an apology worth?
You can replace the tiles and you can fix the walls,
But in the end, Babylon falls.

It's only a dream
I'm no foolish girl
I will have to wake up
Eventually

The problem with dreams
As soon as you wake up
It's over

You can dream again
But it won't be me

Maybe I'm wishing
Just this once
Dreams could come true
But if I did
I would never tell you

An often wish, that time were stored somewhere,
Accessible to all, yet more to me,
A day relivable in all its flair,
To hear, to feel, to taste, to smell, to see.

Full sense-infused, the recreation'd be,
As real as present moment ever would,
A place and time to any time I'd flee,
To when and where I'd flee if flee I could.

If possible the question would be, should?
Should I relive a scene that's long since past,
Whose ground is gone upon which once I stood,
Whose sky has fled and clouds have long since cast?

Our memories whose present time has left,
Are lessons learned when of them we're bereft.

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

it's weird that Brits say "chips" instead of "french fries",
and it's sad that your dad says "you're hopeless" instead of "I love you".
it's weird that the sun pokes up out of the ground at different times everyday,
and it's sad that it hurts more when you poke your finger than when you run the blade down your skin.
it's weird that the sun still shines when it's 3 degrees outside,
and it's sad that 3 am is filled with thoughts of agony and your pillow is stained with the salt water from your eyes.
it's weird that there's 365 days in a year but it dreads on feeling like 1,000,
and it's sad that the pills that are supposed to make you feel better for your depression only make you want to swallow 365 more to make the pain go away.
it's weird that you're forced to go to school with ignorant teenagers that have no idea what they want in life besides getting high,
and it's sad that those teenagers romanticize self harm and depression like it's beautiful to have demons in your mind eating away your sanity.