.

Sorry    mother,
Haven't written much.

Too busy putting
    poetry and syllables
into overseas and livables.

Now
I don't normally do this
And
I wouldn't normally say this
So I'm writing this
The idea hasn't elevated to speech
In my head
It is there
But I'm not sure it'll ever reach my lips
But
I've loved you so long
And
Again I don't normally do this
In fact
I never do this
But
I pray and I ask and I yearn
For the day
When everything is natural
And
We are united under the Sun
Or the Moon
Preferably the Moon
Because the Sun is nice
But the Moon is beautiful
And
If we were to be something
That is deserving of unification
Under such a wonderous thing
The gentle light bouncing off your unreal grace
Your aura radiating through your space
And invading my body like disease
I would probably fall to my knees
And die right at your feet
Because
I'm a sucker
And
I'm a fool
And
I know nothing else
But to buckle at your words
Your beauty
Your face
Your energy
Your grace
Our chemistry
This place
This closed and open gate
This disgustingly fulfilling state of mind

I am not in the business of being you
or him or her or they
we doesn't even really interest me.

you hated me within the first 20 minutes
like a shallow predator
experiencing virginal danger
you have the limbic system of a prey
obvious to anyone in touch with their senses.

you were threatened-
you cracked a joke and among
the robotic laughter and among
the generic thoughts
I stood back, blank-faced
a novel piece of art you haven't the ability
to muster up the courage to understand.

aloud, I said it wasn't funny
which I'm sure your emptiness already betrayed
in a booming, and terrifying fashion
(I'm an intellectual sadist-
I get off watching you squirm)
you know enough, that you have no basis
that the status quo is the stale stream you do nothing but soak in.

you're superficiality is so pervasive
that your thoughts are unfilled, plastic
discarded long ago by anyone with stamina
(you're a carbon-copy of a Xeroxed person)
looking the same as the others of your degenerate breed
with much less vibrancy than the original
and far less worth.

your boundaries have been in place for so long
passed down by
generations
of
generations
of
generations
great-great-granddaddy's barbed wire is the only thing protecting your prejudice.

you're not funny- you're scared
ashamed and lonesome.

ashamed of the person you wish you could be
but don't have the strength-or the guts
to morph into
lonesome because even yourself is someone you don't feel close to
you are so basically human.

I have no pity.
**for you are no Muse.

I kept walking in the roads
Waiting for you to call
You were but in my past
Only thing that you recall

You said you loved me
Why would you hurt me then?
I might have hurt you lot
Never intended any though

I left everyone
Who ever haunted you.
I left my past
Just for the future with you.

But you still tell me about it,
How much it hurt you.
Why don't you understand,
That I have lived the moments too.

You have seen just one side
I have seen the two
I wish you never know
How much it kills you.

I want a simple guy
Who gives me a little respect
Hears what I have to say
makes me forget the rest

I hate it when you humiliate me
Or tell me about the past
I hate it when I hurt you
Fretting how long we would last

I am a girl,not your pet
When will you get that?
Sorry if I hurt you
But you'll have to have all that.

I do everything,
not to hurt you more.
But you see only the things
That had happened before.

I wake up in the morning,
Checking my call log.
You are still not there
And you never called back.

There's lighting in your eyes,
But no one sees it because they're closed.
You were drinking last night,
And I can smell it on your clothes.
You remind me of someone else I knew,
Who was stupid just like you.
I hope you don't die,
Before you decide to pull through.

It's been forever since I've seen you last,
and for that moment I admit lasts in cycles,
bisecting itself as the minutes grow longer and endless.
For it was right when we met,
and also a second time when I searched for and found you beside the bench underneath the bus stop.
And as you jumped for my attention,
my heart swelled and froze,
just as you smiled and rushed to me with open arms,
clothed in your favorite striped pull over,
eyes blazing and lips igniting the soft brush of my flesh.
And it was endless since I saw you last,
but I knew this,
and you knew it,
and we knew it more vividly together,
just as we counted down the minutes,
minutes til I'd be able to run into your arms once more.