She marches
the column
of crosses
and ticks
in line to
the foot of
the page,
a timetabled
life surrendered
to lists is
how she
gets rid
of her days.

There is nothing

                               But darkness

If you cannot forgive

                                              Yourself

All I want is to hold your hand and just kiss you once but that would be a mistake because i would be falling deeper and you would would leave me in the dust.

Being little was the best,
I didn't have any worries or stress,
But now my whole life is a mess.

Heartbreak happened at 15,
Crying every night,
Now I have no feelings.

It's that feeling when you finish crying,
And when you're done you have no feeling,
You stare at the wall afterwards- not moving, you feel empty and you don't care,
But it's so great not to care about anything.

gravity keeps me planted next to you
i love gravity

When the girl, I loved, died,
I locked myself in her room
while her parents were in Arizona.

I went through her things
and found
**** photos;
A few where she seemed
ashamed
and a few where she
liked her body.
She had a gummy smile
and in others
she looked down at her *******
while having a blank expression.

I found empty
alcohol bottles.
Cheap bottles of wine
and a bottle of red,
stuffed with tissue paper.

Under her dresser
I found an unopened
letter she intended to
give the boyfriend before me,
where she admitted
to being ***** as a teenager
and how she hoped
it wasn't too much
baggage.

I threw out the photos
and
alcohol bottles,
but not the letter.

I don't know why but I kept it.
I occasionally read it,
because it's her,
and I love her.

I told my friend
and he called me a
Halomaker,
because I made sure
she was remembered
as an angel.