"You'll catch your death," she said as I swam into the cold ocean.
"I hope I do," I replied as I let myself fall beneath the surface.

Eyes locked for dragging seconds
You opened your mouth
And closed it
And opened it once more
Nothing but deafening waves of silence
Escaped your lips
The air became heavy and saturated
With words you wanted to say
But didn't

Two breaths, you took
Each in synchronism
With my subtle gasp of anticipation
Never did I dare
To question your hesitance
Because I, too
Fostered mangled words
On the tip of my tongue
That I could not string together
For the life of me

I won't let go.
I promise.
Please know nobody
has made me
change color
more than you.
It's cold
and I'm sleepy
please my darling,
we'll have cocoa later
just come back to bed
and dream a little more
with me.

i wanted him to miss me
and i mean, i guess he does.
i wanted him to miss me like
how i miss him.
i miss him like how i
miss the stars in the day.
i miss him like how i
miss being a kid.
i miss him like how i
miss disney songs.
i miss him.

he reminds me of how i
am mature but also how
i am a kid. he reminds me of
the stars, and i how i wish to be
near them. i just miss him.

he walked past me this morning
and we shared that knowing look again
but i guess he doesn't miss me enough
to tell me a decent hello.

its all my fault
thats all ive ever known.
i did this to myself.
i *deserved what happened.
i did this to myself.
its all my fault
thats all ive ever known.
i deserved what happened.

he deserves to be their favorite.
who cares if i make honor roll or
become president of every club
or becoming every teachers *******
(being a smart student, not the hot kind.)
or being respected or listening to my parents
or smiling even when im dying inside.
none of it matters,
because im the last choice between
you and i.

i always am and always will be.