As my eyes cracked open....
And my thoughts begin to turn...

A morning light,
shines onto my head....

With  thoughts from a dream,
still in my head.....

I have fog from the night,
and cobb webs in my head....

I thought it was a dream,
yet it was a drunken night....

I felt an illusion,
come into my life.....

It was a girl,
that made the night....

Yet I can't remember,
if I had *** last night....

A note in lipstick,
written on the wall....

That said:
You were awesum last night,
give me a call....

When i look into the pouring rain,
it brings up thoughts of life with pain....

From my years of fears,
I have countless tears....

From the times I used,
is my life which i abused...

To the needle and spoon....
To the pipe of delight....

To a nod during the day....
To a tweak at night.....

To break that fight,
is now in sight.....

A life without dope,
is what I hope....

I am have now been clean,
for two plus years....

Which once was a dream,
Was to live my life clean....

Dreams do come true,
it is my given fact....

A life without drugs,
is where I'm at....

It so hard to breath,
when I say I want to leave....

My heart hurts so,
when I see your tears......

A life without you,
brings up my inner fears.....

Even though it's time to go,
lets make it slow.....

We've tried so many times,
which causes us to lose our minds......

If faithfulness would last,
we would never have to talk trash.....

When I look at you,
I can only see through you.....

With only a glimpse of our past,
is why I tried to make it last.....

But your actions today,
give me no reason to stay.....

Your love I hold dear,
which will only fade away.....

This is to you and to me,
to find love another way.....

In a drunkin state,
one will make mistakes.....

In a delema state,
one could possible break.....

In a frenzy state,
one could never cooperate....

In a lucrative state,
things could be great....

In a state of mind,
one could be kind....

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house...
There were no signs of love, not even for a mouse....

There was no Christmas tree with glitter and lights..
Just boxes to sleep in and a smelly old couch....

There old whiskey bottles glistening in the night.....
There were feelings of loneliness and feelings of doubt.....

There were candles for light, with no hope in sight...
The chimney was boarded to keep the cold out...

A home for homeless, hungry, lonely and cold....
Wanting someone to love them before they grow old....

With a light through the window, then a bang on the door....
In came the police and they dragged them out the door.....

Moral to the story....
If you don't get what you want for Christmas.... Be joyful that you have someone that loves you!!!!
Merry Christmas and God Bless....

To the ones we once loved...
To the ones we now hate...

To the ones who play games...
To the ones who are fake...

From the times gone good....
From the times gone sin.....

From the times of the future...
From the times we had.

From the times of glory....
From the times of saddness....

With a loving heart....
With a broken mind....

With blood on ones hands....
With times gone bad.....

With a life of illusions....
With a delusional life....

Some try and try,
only to fail.

To build ones fear,
from a life the could have....

Breathe....
Sleep.....
Relax...

Don't let the pressures in life hold you back.....

So easy to say.....
So hard to do....

We learn and learn,
only to learn again....

From our responsibility
to our family....

To love and passion....
To resentment and spite...

To dreamers and believers..
To failure and doubt...

From success in life....
From the times of right...

To the lies one tells.....
To the truths we hide...

This life we live,
is the life we have...

From the pressures in life
can make it a living hell....

The things people say....
The things people do....

Can somtimes make,
a fool out of you....

The way people act....
The games they play...

Will only let them,
lead your way......

To the lies they tell.....
To the drama they live...

Has no reason,
for them to give.....

To the things they will take..
For they will never give....

To their selfish acts,
is no way to live....

To the burdens in life..
To sickness and health..

Grant me this wish,
of only love and wealth...

Hard times come and hard times go, it's the mind set that controls one.....
Always remember, that one must "sacrifice" in life to "gain"......

Everything is hazy,
living in these times....

Everything is crazy,
feeling almost blind...

Where are the answers,
to bring this life alive...

They all tell me,
that I must live this life....

Find those feelings,
to bring your life alive...

Looking for the answers,
that tells you who you are...

The things you say....
The things you do...

Defines who you are....

No one seems real,
and plays those ****** up games...

People live in drama,
which makes life a shame...

Watch what the words you say,
the meaning will hold true...

Live your life in freedom...
Let nothing hold you down..

Dream for what you want...
Dreams do come true...

You may stumble,
but hold your head up high...

Never having all the answers,
but you sometimes you must learn....

Life will find you,
and will tell you who you are.

To read a mind could be a dangerous fate....
To live a life of lies is a big mistake.....

To pose and play games is a shame.....
To live a life of drama leads to despair....

To love and joy.....
To hurt and pain.....

From the times of our past...
To the times of our future....

What life holds for us, is for us to direct....
To give security and respect to the one's we protect....

The rules in life will always change....
Just be prepared to do the same....

To death and fate...
To heaven and hell....

From God above to the one's we tell....
It's your life so live it well.....

They say we live the AMERICAN DREAM...

500 thousand homeless....
48.1 million go hungry....
16,238 murders per year....
1.1 million foreclosures....
8 million jobless....
Where racism still exist...
Lack of real Government...
A very weak economy.....
A weak education system...
Where poverty still exist...

If this is the AMERICAN DREAM,
somebody needs to wake me the **** up....

I once had a future,
that was lost it in time....

From the times of my past,
where my roll defines me...

From once having everything,
to losing it all....

The things we chase.....
The things we lose....

Are a glimpse in time,
where things were abused...

The things we give....
The things we no longer take....

Are things we desire,
to no longer be fake...

Feelings change,
as time passes us by...

As our mind grows,
our outlook on life changes...

Has you life changed you,
or have you changed your life..

Hungry and cold,
she talks to herself as she grows old....

She pushes her basket,
with all her clothes....

With tears in her eye's,
with no signs of hope......

Collecting cans is a full time job...
Walking in circles to make a dime....

With a spot under the bridge,
that she calls her home....

Her friends she fights with,
which are her only thoughts....

A losing battle, from the start....

I see her every morning,
sitting in my car...

I say:
God bless that lady as she has come far....

Someone with a heart,
with love and care....

And now she's alone,
and no one really cares..

If you see someone hungry,
give them some change....

Tell them God loves then,
and I'll do the same....

She was a girl,
with no place to go.....

Walking the streets,
because that's all she knows....

She sells her body,
to anyone for money.....

Twenty for a *******,
fifty for a lay.....

Enough to get her dope,
So she won't be sick for the day....

With a pump by her side,
she gives him her money.

But it's not enough,
so he beats her everyday....

Yet, does she feel secure,
or just scared everyday....

Day to day she ***** away,
a *** slave in America....

As her life knows,
no other way....

Realities in life,
keep us footed...

Fantasies in life,
keep us dreaming....

Sadness in life,
will eventually pass....

Happiness in life,
keeps us from being sad....

Heartache in life,
keeps us hurting....

Crying in life,
keeps us in pain....

Love of life,
keeps us wanting.....

Life for love,
keeps us looking....

Resentment in life,
keeps one angry.....

Envy in life,
keeps one jealous....

Anger is one,
keeps one mad....

Responsibility in life,
keeps one working....

Peace in life ,
keeps one content....

The tears that fall beneath my eyes,
are droplets of pain as I cry....

As the tears run down my face,
all my fears now scare this place....

As I try not to tremble within,
my mind is racing about life's end...

As I try to control my emotions,
I can not find a reason or notion....

I once found love and life was great,
now it's gone and my heart still aches...

The feelings of love must be a myth,
The one's I meet can't come to grips..

Is it better to ****,
and never to love....

And lose those feelings,
of wanting love....

As the raindrops hit my skin...
The feeling of tears fall within....

As I look through the pouring rain.....
I hide the feelings of all my pain.....

The darkened clouds drift in the night.....
Reminds me of love with fear and freight....

As the rain stops and my skin dries....
Feelings of lonelyness begin to die.....

The clouds have now cleared.....
I shed those feelings of love and fear...

Now that the rain has passed....
Along with my criticism of my past...

The light now gets closer within my grasp....
I look to the future for the life I ask....

Does darkness consume me,
as I try to break free....

I bleed my life's blood,
only to get closer to God....

Repenting in my head,
which is beating me down.....

So i pray,
how did my life get this way....

As daily life takes a part of me...

Every time I believe,
it is ***** from me.....

Felling like a have no release,
I find nothing in life is free......

Sometimes I can't take this place,
hoping I'll never fall from grace....

Why do things have to be this way.....
Why do things consume our life....

Fractured time in life,
can never be fixed....

To turn....
To change....
To believe....
To hope....

Trust the love from above,
which his hands cradle us.....

Does one believe in a false God....
Not knowing who looks down on us....

Some say the end is near,
which fills their life with fear.....

I pray for rain,
to wash everything away....

Hoping it will bring,
a better set of sunny days.....

The feelings of being hated,
only affect the weak and insecure.......

If I see hatred from a person,
I see signs of weakness and insecurities......

How does one deal with a bigot?
Bigot is a bit different.....
It is when one tries to influence one with hatred....

If someone hates you for what you have or the friends you keep.

It may sound like hate, it's called, envy or jealousy.

If someone hates you from something you've done to them,
that's resentment......

As long as you've done nothing wrong,
there's nothing you need to change......

I live my life by one rule.....

As long as I live a clean life,
I usually do not care what one thinks....

We cannot controls what one says or does.....
Yet, should one always forgive????

I think my mind is dying,
it's playing tricks on me again....

My shadow is shedding it's skin,
is it trying to step through me.....

I wallow in my own chaotic,
insecure delusions.....

I've been digging through my confusion,
to find out what I have been hiding.....

I want to feel the change consume me,
and start this life again....

Your my apple pie.....
You make me cry....

You make me high...
You make me lie...

You make me sigh...
You make me laugh....

You make my path....
You make me *****....

Your like my dope...
You bring me love....

You bring me tears....
You bring me fears....

You bring me years....
You make me want to die at times....

Recipe for apple pie:

One part man....
One part women.....

A sprinkle of salt....
Some doe.....

Maybe some sugar....
Add butter....

Little Cinnamon....
Then bake it in a relationship....

Don't forget the apples.....

Cinderella, Cinderella, take my hand,
take me to never never land....

A place so beautiful,
where love can be found....

Cinderella, Cinderella, take my hand,
lets run off together in this unsought land.....

Is love our reason.....
Is love our fate....

Cinderella, Cinderella, take my hand,
your so beautiful with a life to give.....

If I had one slipper,
could you love me.....

Cinderella, Cinderella, take my hand,
lets run off together before our time ends.....

Is this a dream,
that will tell my tale.....

To fill a void,
one will look for anything....

This gap we have in time,
is useally filled with thoughts.....

Of what may have gone wrong...
Of what may have gone right.....

We cry....
We smile....

Like a whisper in the night,
it just pases us bye,
and we resume life.....

Those voided moments in life,
will always come and go.....

Like the front pages of a novel,
they are reminders of our past....

Things that we sometimes wish,
we could change....

Then again it could be things,
We would never want to change...

We will always learn,
from difficulties in life....

More so then the,
easy side of life....

Stay true to yourself,
learn from the past......

And cherish your time,
you can never get it back.....

If you could turn back time,
What would be your time.....

If you could turn back time,
What would be your reason why.....

If you could turn back time,
Would ever thing turn out fine......

If you could turn back time,
remeber you would have to go,
through your reason why....

If you could turn back time,
how long would it last,
the time will go by fast...

If you could turn back time,
would it be a crime.....

If you could turn back time,
would it be for peace of mind.  .

You're the love of my life,
the dearest to my heart.....

You're the one who makes me,
I've loved you from the start.....

You make me complete......
You make me whole.....

From that first day a saw you,
you were part of my soul......

The joy that you bring me.....
The joy that you hold....

Your love is everlasting,
as we bind our souls.....

There's nothing i need,
no more than you....

I would travel the earth,
just to find you.....

The love that you give me,
is the life that we hold......

I'll always remember this,
as we grow old.....

When you think of poems,
you think of rhymes.....

When you think of life,
you think of times....

When you think of feelings,
you think of healing.....

When you think of hurt,
you put love first....

When you think of pain,
it will drive you insane....

When you know your right,
you will always fight.....

Our minds we have,
will always be there....

So controls your thoughts,
that's where it starts...

If you have it all......
Remember, you could lose it all....

If you think you have your **** together....
It could easily wither away....

To learn to be happy.....
You first must be sad to know the real meaning....

Is heartache really about Love or selfishness....

Heartache goes away,
but selfishness does not...

When does one change their ways.....
When does one accept reality.....

When does one quite putting them self first.....

I have learned in life the more I help others....
The easier things come to me in life....

Have you ever bought a hungry family groceries...
Have you ever put gas in a persons car who has no money.....
Have you ever tried to guide our youth.....
Have you ever actually helped the homeless.....
Have you ever let someone cry on your shoulder....

Life is not about one,
It's about many.....

-----
Do you sometimes feel that your life is going nowhere....
-----
Should we get comfortable and accept our life....
-----
How many people actually like and look for change....
-----
Are you actually happy with what you do and who you are....
-----
Has your surroundings molded you.....
-----
Does life suffocate you are do you live to breath....
-----
Life will always have it's self created problems...
-----
Can you stay true to your goals....
-----
Can you see your dream coming.....
-----
Welcome to my realty check....
-----

I count the falling tears,
that fall beneath my eye's....

I count every heartbeat,
as I count the days.....

I count every second of the clock,
as my life tics away.....

I can't tell you baby,
what went wrong.....

I can't make you feel,
what you once felt so long ago.....

I can't give you back,
what I hurt....

I can't feel the things,
that cause you pain.....

Nothing feels the same,
when you're in pain....

It ain't so easy,
to get back what we had....

I life without you,
only seems so sad.....

Yet heartaches,
come and go.....

The life we built,
took so long

We never know what we got,
until it's gone....

From the time I was 10,
I was taught to be a man....

I was told never take life for granted,
and to remember the 10 commandments....

I was told playing was for children,
yet this left me bewildered.....

I was told I needed a wife,
in order to have a great life....

I was told I needed children,
to fulfill my stability.....

I was told never to cry,
and to never act shy....

I was told to be a man,
I had to make a stand...

Work was what I was taught,
for a life that I sought....

Where is my wife...
Where are my children...

Never had either or...
But what a great life...

Did my time past....
Was my life that fast....

Where our fears,
try to become our God...

Where our life is guided,
by misprinted lies...

Where truth and honesty,
is far and few between....

Where trust in one,
is a hard thing to accept....

Where words are spoken
with numb feelings....

Where distractions,
take us from our path....

Where manipulation,
is part of everyday life....

Where people hold on to,
resentment and anger.....

Where the word commitment,
is losing it's meaning.....

Where known flaws,
are our biggest enemy in life....

Where is the direction of society?

Where are the morals in life?

Where are the real inspirational figures?

Are we taught correctly and then change?

Are not taught and just adapt to our surroundings?

Where and when does life really change?

How does one change their ways?

How does one change their thoughts?

How does one change hurt,
and hurtful ways?

Why does one compromise their life?

One can only try to change...

The one thing that I have learned
is to stay faithful to our creator.....

At Club Studio 1016,
with a setting so clean....

Monica is her name,
and this club is her game....

Barmaids so smooth....
With a DJ with grove....

This club definitely hops,
in this new cool hot spot....

Upper 3rd is the place,
that takes the cake.....

Studio 1016,
this new place of dreams....

As i keep my eye's open....
I watch society change....

Is it to the better,
or is it to the worst....

The flip side of life,
is such a drastic change....

As one dies,
one will be born...

As one cries,
one will smile....

As one hurts,
one is happy....

As one is in pain,
one is in joy....

As two marry,
two will separate.....

To the real....
To the posers...

To the rich...
To the poor....

To the healthy...
To the sick....

To the friendly....
To the lonely....

To the family....
To the homeless....

Everyone, I mean everyone,
has one thing in common...

Just look up and talk to the man....

He will never leave you....
He will never forsake you...
He will never judge you...

He will only forgive you,
and love you......

Never try to read a person,
It will only confuse one.....

You can not control a persons thoughts,
so don't try to make something that's not...

We sometimes think people change,
but we usually don't see everything...

Most people make something out of nothing,
then regret it.....

Relax,
take a chill pill and let life play out.....

The more you say,
the more you put yourself in a corner....

The less you say,
the more regret you may have....

Stay true the life's rules,
Trust...
Truth...
Honesty...
Love....

And faith in God!!!

The secrets that one keeps...
The lies that one will tell....

The fears that controls one....
The tears that hold one...

How one's life is controlled,
from one's past....

How one's life,
goes so fast....

From love to heartache......
From joy to pain.....

From living a lie.....
To living in sin...

From sad to happy.....
From tears to cheers...

A life long adventurer,
for many years....

From the things we've done,
to the things we will do....

This roller coaster ride,
for me and you.....

You keep in step...
You walk the line...

You do what you do...
Because you're told...

But inside your heart,
it is black, hollow, and cold....

Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

What if this whole crusade,
is only a charade....

And behind it all,
there's a price to be paid....

For the blood...
For which we dine...

Justified in the name,
of the holy and the divine....

So naive,
keep holding on to what I want to believe...

You can see,
But keep holding on and on and on and on....

Just how deep do you believe?
Can you break away to be free?

Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?

Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

Will you bite the hand that feeds you?
Will you stay down on your knees?

If i die before I wake,
please burn me upon a stake....

For i have walked a million miles,
and never once caught a smile....

Put my feet upon this fire,
they always hurt from no desire....

Let my heart burn next,
for it has no respect....

My blood will then boil,
but it has already been spoiled....

My feelings will now burn,
for they never have yearned....

My hands can burn boldly,
for they have never controlled me....

My mouth should be next,
because it's only hexed....

I don't care about my ears,
because they are filled with one's fears....

Let my eye's go last,
so I can watch myself burn fast.....

From dust to life,
we live a fight that never ends....

With love and heartache,
to pain and stomach aches....

To tears and fears,
of love from the past...

Where time stands still,
and life is no longer a thrill...

The mind tumbles,
and one's life crumbles....

The break the grips of hurt,
one tries, yet the mind is never alert....

If god can change,
water to wine....

Then can he change,
reasons to time?

Then one's life would never end.....

The chase...
The base...
The little white rocks.....

With no tomorrow....

The needle....
The spoon...
The I. V. user....

With no tomorrow....

The razor....
The straw....
The white powder....

With no tomorrow....

The glass....
The drink...
The alcoholic....

With no tomorrow....

The abuser....
The loser....
The *******...

With no tomorrow....

The lier...
The cheater....
The deceiver....

With no tomorrow....

The poser...
The fake....
The phony...

With no tomorrow....

The manipulator....
The creator....
The one full of ****....

With no tomorrow....

The games....
The drama...
The never real....

With no tomorrow....

Has one traded heart ache for dreams....
Has one traded love for tears.....

Does one give up, because they fail?
Does one push harder, because they fail?

Does one give up on their dreams,
if they are satisfied with their means.....

The sayings....

Life's not fair!
Life *****!
It's not my fault!
I can't do it!
I was dealt this hand!
I have no money!

The best of them all.

I did nothing....
Why me, boohoo!

It's God's fault,
and I am mad at him.....

Believe me, it is not God's fault....
God always loves and forgives....

Treat a person,
as you want to be treated....

Respect a person,
as you want to be respected....

Love a person,
as you want to be loved....

If you want the truth,
speak the truth....

If you want honesty,
then always be honest....

If you care,
then show you care....

If you don't like someone,
tell them to their face.....

**** the games!!!!
**** the drama!!!!

Life is way to short,
to deal with *******....

Get what you want out of life....
**** fear, hit it head on.....

Twas the night before something,
and without a shadow of doubt......

I shall fear no evil,
while I live my life....

From my mornings now,
to my after life.....

I hold a candle to love,
with a God from above....

From temptation to hell,
it's one of life's conclusions,
this heaven and hell....

From the father, the son and the holy ghost....
The love from above who gives us the most....

Matter and time is why were alive....
From dust and water to the atomic bomb.....

To wars and death, for color, land and religion....
Life's ****** up reasons for you and me....

A sound mind with a big heart,
is what drives one to find that life.....

So now I go, yet not the end of the storey....
Life's grand illusions for love of life....

How does one actually get into one's heart....
How does one know actually where to start.....

Could it be from the look in one's eyes.....
Could it be from the words of no dispise....

Does it start by the looks of one.....
Does it start by the words of one...

Will it happen by the luck of the draw....
Will it happen through *** and desire.....

Do you look into a person's past.....
Do you look into a person's future....

Has games been played that makes you afraid....
Has drama been there that will cause you to stray.....

Life is funny and pretty much predictable.....
Life can be lonely at times, yet sustainable....

Is it the choice of the matter....
Is it the matter of the choice....

When does one find the heart they want....
When does one give up their heart to another.....

I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds......

But the lack there of,
would leave me empty inside.....

Swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out.....

Find nothing,
but faith in nothing.....

Want to put my tender,
heart in a blender.....

Watch it spin around,
to a beautiful oblivion.....

I burn, burn like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white and oh so frail......

I see our time has gotten stale.....
The tick tock of the clock is painful....

All sane and logical,
I want to tear it off the wall......

I hear words and clips and phrases....
I think sick like ginger ale....

My my thoughts are now only stale.....
My stomach turns and I exhale....

So Cal is where my mind states.....
But it's not my state of mind....

I'm not as ugly, sad as you....
Or am I origami, folded up and just pretend....

Demented as the motives in your head....
Your feelings show no emotions.....

I alone am the one you don't know.....
You need take heed, feed your ego....

Make me blind when your eyes close....
Sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost....

I alone am the one you don't know....
You need, you don't know you need me....

Rendezvous then I'm through,
now I'm through with you......

Do you really know who you are or
do you just go through the motions of life....

Me, I am no superman, nor am I perfect.....
I do know who I am and where I am going....

I control my own life and work for no one....
I make my own money and enjoy life....

I understand by helping other,
I help myself by showing understanding...

Life is way to short to fear anything,
face life head on and stay real to yourself....

I never stress, complain or make excuses....
The words "I can't" do not exist in my vocabulary...

Stay true, honest and respectful to all......
Be a caring person about others to a point....

What is most important is understanding love....

Love is patient...
Love is kind....
Love is not self seeking....
Love does not boast...
Love is always there....
Hate will never show...

Treat your lady like a princess....
Yes they need to be shown affection...

But in return ladies need to do the same...
Where respect is given, respect is earned....

True love cannot exist,
were it truly does not exist.

True love cannot be hidden,
were it truly exist...

Mind games are for foolish people...
Foolish people will always hurt...

Pride will only get you in trouble....
Be mindful and thoughtful to all....

Yet, stay wise to everything....

As we grow we develop what’s called a train of thought.....
It’s something we never think about.....

Though in life were sometimes face with obstacles.....
Some bigger then others, but we easily get by.....

Some are so large, that we seem not to overcome them.....
But we do we brush them away....

There always on our minds, but we must move along.....
We somehow forget these obstacles and keep on going......

These thoughts can stay clear for some time.......
Then were faced with new obstacles that bring up the past.....

We then decide what we have to do......
This can be very hard for most.....

We try and try then finally get by......
But always seem to be there, once we get past them.......

I hope they can be forgotten......
Sometimes they are just too large to forget......

But we must go on......

We only have only one life,
to live,
to give,
to take....

To carry feelings,
of love,
of care,
of compassion...

To have meaning,
to be honest,
to be trustworthy,
to be truthful.....

To provide security.....
To guide...
To teach...
To inspire...
To motivate...

Easier said than done....

I hate the say "Life wasn't meant to be easy"
It becomes a mindset for some and then an excuse......

Life is what you make it....
Life can be easy....
Life can be hard...

It is controlled by your attitude towards life....

So, if you want to make it hard,
it will be hard.....

So, if you want to make it easy,
it will be easy.....

Your life is up to you and no one else...

I cannot understand most people...
Why do people put limitations on their life?

Yet, everyone seems to be broke....
Struggles in life......
Poor mouths and borrows.....

The answer.....

Fear the unknown...
Lazy in life....
No drive or aggression....

All the excuses in the world.....

Excuses are tools of incompetency that build monuments of nothing
and people that use them are seldom good at anything else!!!!!

I don't want to hear I had a tough life...
Step in my shoes.....

The two most important in my world is God and $$$$
People say that I am all about money......

Yes I am, how can I help people if I am broke...
Sew into someones life and watch them grow...

Stay positive....
There is always a flip side to everything....
Never speak doubt.....

God wants you to have big things,
ask him for them and quit blaming him...

It's not God's fault,
it's one's own fault, poor you boohoo....

Sorry if I offend,
some must hear this....

Learn what love really means...