Of all the moments that could flash before my eyes
Yours just have to be the one
Lovely as her name
This memory of her was the last
Picture perfect smile which meant the world to me

I dreamt of this scene a lot
A drifting emotion from the past
Waiting ever so patiently
That still lingers on my hands,
My shoulders, and my heart

But under the mercy of a cold cylinder
The heart of mine would not react
Because as lovely as her name,
As nice as our shared memories were
I only wish I didn't have them

Take me to the end of the world
Let me stand at its edge
And feel the fear of falling
Return to my senses

Let me stare at the abyss
Like when I stare back into those eyes
Sunken as a pirate ship
Monochromatic and void

I'll ignore the failing voices in my head
As I stay valiant on the edge
With no intention of writhing
In silence again

I've always lived in constant misery
Though I didn't want it to be
This abyss is a disappointment in comparison
To the life I've lead

So, take me
Take me at its edge
I'm not gonna fall
This abyss is too shallow for me

It's been a while
Since the day I walked this field
Where I brought you
On our last day together
The grass haven't grown
The trees still stood tall
Everything seemed frozen in time
I know when I look down
The day, month, and year
Wont ever change
Because on that summer day
The worries disappeared
I moved on now
It seems unfair
Knowing time had stopped for you
Since I brought you here
To your peace

The worst thing I think when I go home from work
Is that I need to lie again tomorrow
To push me out the bed
And get me brushing my teeth
I need to feel sorry again
For the time I spent awake
Thinking about my journey
A handful scenarios of defeat

All of these
Just to get me up the bus
To tell another lie
Just to be greeted with one
Almost decieving as the first
And when I thought things can't be worse
The truth hits me even harder
Realizing the effort I continue to make
Will go waste once I go back to bed

We are one with the stars
In dust we form our history
Our paths may have diverged
Yet the scheme where we belong--
Kept the dust inside our body

We are one with the moons,
The comets that stretched out the sky
We are a whisper within a storm
A flicker on a candle
A tear under the rain

The dust will grow old and wither
Like the lives that succeeded the first
But the dust will meet its head
The dust will return to the scheme--
To the scheme where we all belong

Whenever I close my eyes
I try not to see your face
I try not to see your lips
I try not to read those sweet words escaping through your mouth

I try not to see the face I loved the most

Whenever I'm all alone
I try to drown the sound
I try to rest my chest
I try to tame my heart, running wild, unchained, and broken
I try not to hear the way you breath the air.

I try to ignore the hymn of you and me.

But whenever there is time
Just enough to catch a glimpse of the past
I can't help myself from seeing you and me linked and covered in the sheets
I can't help myself from seeing the way we used to be.

"The way we used to be together."

I am running out of words
I am running out of breath
Just like we're running out of time
Time to be together

She thought and fought
The humor where I belong
Because she finds it a creep
A humor that is so dark,
Deep, and unnerving
Must be a joke
But no she's wrong
This is not a jest
She knew it too well
"My humor is dark", I said
"My humor is dark for a reason"

Scars, scars, scars
All around the stars
Scars, scars, scars
Pick up all these shards

Knock, knock, knock
******* my gut
Knock, knock, knock
Why can't you just stop?

Leave, leave, leave
Roll down your sleeves
Please
Stretch out the sheets
Leave
Wipe out the tears

"Honey dear are you alright?"

"Yes mom, I'll go back to sleep."

About time I let myself come up callous and cruel,
I'll go get my shovel and bury the castle with you in it

With a stick and a pole, i'll mark it with ease
Never coming back, I'll be out in a bliss.

Less than a minute, less than an hour
Less than a glance, but less is enough
To teach my heart to do just one lie
Just one and save itself from you

I woke up drenched in fear
Numb and I couldn't stand

I stared at the ceiling
Stretched my arm but didn't felt warmth

My heart dazed, my mind blank
I searched something, maybe someone
I will never find again

"When did this bed got bigger?"

I woke up drenched in fear
Now I remember, it is when you left

"This bed surely is bigger now. I should be happy."

We always argue in our space in this bed
I pushed you to the side and let you sleep in the brink.

"How am I suppose to sleep with this tiny space?"

Each day you complain
A record that plays enveloping this bed

"Can you just let it slip away? Okay? Your voice is irritating."

You argued but I am stubborn
You insisted but I am immature

"Yeah, I should be happy now."

Now that the bed got bigger
And the corners are welcoming

You said you're tired
I thought you're just tired of work

But no, you aren't tired of work
You're tired of me--childish

"God, I should stop myself from crying."

I should be happy by now
Now that the bed just got bigger
And now that I won't have to hear that record anymore

"Can you just let it slip away? Okay? Your voice is irritating."

Tears fall behind every drop
Of the rain I prayed to grief
Along the scars I trace within this shroud
Of a thing I used to be

In the dark I stray alone
With a match within my hand
To find the path I used to walk
Beside the shrouds I came to be

I cast the stone upon myself
And let it drum throughout my chest
I let the sound echo through my ears
Unto the heart I've known to fear

If I carry on your love
The love that cost you tears
Will you be able to get peace?
Knowing that your dreams--
Your last words and last breath
Are burried inside a rotting corpse
Walking across a barren field?

If I carry on my journey
To gather up my mind
That a long time ago broke in pieces
With bits scattered across this barren field
Will you be able to get peace?
Knowing that I collect shards of my psyche
With this bleeding hands
Patched with used up cloths?

Is it fine to be the one asking?
When I'm the one on the other side of the line
Safe and sound away from harm
Is it fine?
I hope not. I really do
Because in my mind it was never fine
To be the one on the other side of the line
To be the one to feel silence
Haunted--
Knowing that you're on the other side of the line
Sleeping

I came home late
Which is no surprise
Let my coat hang loose
Gripped the **** too tight

I sighed down the aisle
Where the frame of us stood
Embroidered with smiles
Standing still, much of a fool

I came home from work
Expected everything to be still
Yet when I turned to the room
The stillness took out my own will

I've known no bounds
Known no regrets up to the core
Until that moment when you flew
One inch above the floor

I choked in air
I never thought one can do
Failed to trust my own
Failed to balance myself

I've known no fear
Known no regrets up to the core
Until I saw my other heart
One inch above the floor

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty pity you all
The horizon is red, the river is blood
Cracks open up the great crimson sod.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty chuckles seeing them crawl
There are no king's horses and no king's men
Just Humpty Dumpty laughing in his big quiet den.

Curtains call, curtains fall
A bow ends up a play
Play where we stood tall
But ended up falling arrayed

Curtains call, curtains fall
A bow ends up a play
At last this long sought tale
Will come to an end

To the end without you
To the end with just me
To the end one last time

Maybe I'm not worthy
Maybe I'm not

To those hugs and kisses
That shifts my heart to jump and trot

To those songs you play and hymn
That brings my world away from dim

To those shared secrets, said and done
That made me think "You're the one."

Yeah, maybe I'm not worthy
Maybe I'm not

To these caged feelings I'm now letting to rot

I wonder how will the world turn
If I could see everything in your eyes
I wonder how much difference would it make
When all is perfect and fine

If you could just realize how much I envy you
How can you say I'm so special?
You can be anything you want
I'm nothing compared to you

I knew I'm up to no good
But everytime I'm inside your arms
I could feel my heart alight my chest
That's something your love can do

I'll take a step reaching out to you
To make myself a better version of me
To make me that kind of special
Even being half as special as you

Look at my smile; I really adore you
I hope that you knew
That something special I told you
Was you, I love you.

Tie me a knot
A knot stronger than the wind
Tie me a knot--
A weapon I will wield

I'll carry it all day
Treasuring the knot you'll make
Walking a mile distance
From the draw out line I gave

Heave it strong and brave
Carefully making connections
Between the rope you made
And the rope I kept

Heave-- tie our ropes
The rope you used to save life
And the rope I used to end mine

The rain befall my shields again
Withdrawn the sheets below the pain
And in my eyes all there is rain
To which my heart I knew would fail

I curled myself and dozed to sleep
Closed my eyes never left a blink
To start again my fleeting dream
And see that smile I dearly miss

Where does the time played in our life?
I'm seventeen still young and brim
Whereas you're two older than me
And now I'm two older than you

I couldn't believe the way it snapped
Sheared in two, teared in apart
While crimson dye flowed in and cracked
Which marked the start of my demise

You should've been strong so you could tell
That you needed me like I needed you
Now I'm two years older than you
The way younger sisters don't naturally do

Gaze upon the midnight sky
For the moon above is free
For the blinding stars and peaceful winds
I bow these down to thee

It took me a while to notice
What she kept on bugging me with
"Have you noticed something?" she asked
Without a doubt, this is her thousandth question
I shrugged her off
I thought it's just that easy
To get away from her
She clutched her hands away
She cut her hair shorter than usual
I noticed, how couldn't I?
Why does it even matter?

But then again, I remembered
I once asked her a question
As casual as it can get
"Would you ever let me die alone?"
Right after, the universe slowed
The only moment where time literally stopped
She crossed the Andromeda
To swallow me whole
Into her untimely hug
She said--
"Don't you love it when we're congruent?"

So with my untimely words for this untimely moment
I whispered unto her
"I liked what you did to your hair."
She bobbed her hair as minimal as she can
--My words just crossed Andromeda
"Don't you love it when we're congruent?"

As I enter a world without tears-
The world without hope
My chest felt lighter
My breaths got steady

As the world I've known fade into nothingness
The path I had seemed clear
The steps began to fold
The rain just stopped to fall

I wonder if this is where we intersect
A point in life when we become one
Just like two strokes within a plane
Crossed in an uneventful turn of events

This maybe the scene you wanted to see
The view buried within your eyes
A place overlooking the fields
Of a place you'll never meet again

The wind blew dry
The moon burned so weak
Yet, with a night that cared so much
We jumped into unknown