Scratching at the surface, a mass of desperation weighing over my gentle soul
yearning, scraping trying to dig out of this hole
I'm scraping to make it out of this whole
pieces of me shed with my every thrashing, every movement comes with a struggle
pieces strewn throughout my life, never amounting to a puzzle
forward progress is my dream within it all
yet there is never a climb without the fall
no descent worth noticing, no downward spiral out of place
A part of me breaks with every brief glimpse of that face
Walking through the halls of worn images and depressed portraits
finally realizing they are all mirrors
the only surface that could reflect the reality clearer
nights plagued with restless thoughts and dreams out of reach
reaching for the surface, hoping these hands can finally breach
the veil that shrouds my forward motion
drowning in my failures, a soul just drifting in this ocean
every step comes with it's hesitation
a constant testament to my self will and patience
a train to my future always late to the station
leaving me anxiously waiting
staring down the tracks of my past
listening for the humming droning of the steel bars scraping the electric rail, sizzling and popping in the late summer evening
Waiting to depart, finally leaving
On the platform, ticket in hand, bags upon my shoulder
I never saw myself growing up, I never wanted to get older
Never asked for much, never yearned for more than stability
All scales must return to level, just wondering when they will for me.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"