You can run but you cant hide.
Because crazy is hard to hide.
Somethings broken at the core.
And it sends it messages thru a door.
They bubble to the surface
Right at the tip of tounge.
You try to hide your face.
But somethings cant be undone.
So you live with the anxiety.
Mixed it with shame and audacity.
And pretend your **** dont smell.
When everyone can tell.
Forgiveness and forget.
Life is peppered with regret.
Thats just to say im not perfect.
And im not sane.
But i try my best not to spill.
And make a mess.
And if i do.
I apologise and continue.

where once anxiety bites
now numbness devours.
watching people take their fill
while i eat out of an empty bowl.
the price of sanity it seems
is the whole soul.

Please dont break this perfect illusion
And tell me you love me.
A illusion that feels
Closest thing to real.
Exactly what I need to heal
Sensations of metallic tasting wounds.
Surrounding me.
I need your love.
Wanting is not even an option for me.
Stay with me.
Until I want to leave.

Did I ask to be alive.
And how do I end it.
I'm just a voice.
Without a body.
Or face to carry it.

Just thoughts seeping out
The same things that keeps possessing me.
Maybe I will just lay.
And drip my whole life away.

I'm out of rhythm
I'm tired of dancing.
Its hard to breathe.
And I got a marathon to run.
Every morning.
My legs are tired.
And I'm aching.
I wish I could let go of the heavy burden.
The load I'm carrying.
But somehow
The boulder talks back to me.
He says I need him to keep my gravity.
Because without him I will fly
So fast to the moon.
I will die from it.

Nowhere to go
Nothing to do
Nobody to be.