If you arrive here
You will show up laughing
like a sigh
Headshake and shiver

It tastes bitter on your tongue
The last poem you will ever speak
When catching your breath is like praying backwards
Pulling heaven back inside of yourself
A struggle for composure before you lose it all

There is a man or woman
That looks like you
With a chest like a tree trunk
So heavy
And a stomach that rumbles
A body so empty

It asks of you everything
So you place before it
All that you have
Which it devours
Bits of all you’ve ever had
Confetti burst from the corners of its mouth
And then it asks for more
Until there is only you and it

With nothing left
You place its fingers into its mouth
It eats its own arm
Then the other arm
Then both legs

You watch it eat
Sounding so satisfied
It hums and drools
And bleeds to death

You catch your breath
You are alone in this place
So you laugh
And the sound of it startles you
An echo inappropriate
When you find this funeral funny

You pick it up
And sling it over your shoulder
Limp like a flower sack
Like a bag of potatoes

You tell yourself you are just going to bury it
And at the same time wonder
Why you didn’t walk away

And, best of all
                 neither you
                        nor I
        have the slightest
    desire to move

This body is a memory
Like a phantom ache
For fingertips
For lips
For fists

There was the rug-burn

I sleep most comfortably on my belly
Shirtless
No blanket

From when he brought the belt loop
Buckle pinching neck
The carpet not as soft
As curls of fabric
Felt like razorblades and fire
Skin so red and raw
Window open it cooled me like a slow breath
On tomato soup
There were days my body looked like tomato soup

This body is a memory
For the soft against my chest
Puzzle piece breath
In the ways I want to fit

I want to taste your mouth like a cannibal
Lips so full of blood I want to bite them

Some days I want you to single cell me
For simply the fight and the ****

This body is a memory
A gentle tickle
Some things I’d rather forget
Phone book bruises
Elbow torque and knuckle gut

Some things I strive to remember
Beer breath kisses
Head on chest
Hold you like an embarrassed birthmark
Because I don’t want my arm to fall asleep
But I don’t want to move you either

i really don't care,
                 as you sit here and tell me,
about the number votes,
        or when i keep thinking about,
                          the ache in my throat,
          when i think about how
   you leave me thousands of notes,
    telling me i'm your world,
and you love me and need me so dear,
                           i know you aren't lying,
that much is clear.
                but the words had no meaning,
even though i know that they should,
                    and you always tell me,
you'd marry me now if you could.
        and i feel like you mean it,
and it makes me sad,
        when you say i'm the best thing,
that you've ever had.
        you deserve so much more,
then me by your side,
                          but you stay here and hold me,
through all the rollings of the tide.
                      and that makes me wonder,
what's wrong with me?
                       you love me,
                  and need me,
that i can see.
        and i once read something,
that stung like a smack,
                     "you always love the person,
       who can't love you back."
and another thing,
        that runs through my mind like a train,
     goes:
    "the person who you love, and the person that loves you,
                       well,
                       they are never, ever, the same."
i do my best
     to love you,
            and give you my heart,
but i know in truth,
              you only hold
a small part.