The car runs rough today, labors over
low hills that lay between me and the city.
Clouds like enormous white feathers
fan across the watery blue. The sun's
warmth has lifted a rime of frost
from the land. The farmer who owns
this field has gone mad it seems,
has taken his tractor on a joy ride
leaving behind a rough arabesque of
dark earth, an unintended and fugitive art.
What moved him to this rash act?
Was it a bitter phone call?
Did he sell the land for enough cash to break even this year?

It's so dark,
the only light spinning,
and your eyes don't look through me.
You see me clear.
Your lips make their way down my body and back up again, and I wish you could
stay longer,
stay the night,
stay with me.
"I don't want you to go," I say,
and the light keeps spinning,
your face green then blue then red,
and I'm tangled up in you beneath my gray covers,
the most comfortable I've ever been.
"I don't want to leave," you reply to me,
quiet words because our volume shrinks as we dig deeper into truth.
I never know if I always say the right things,
and I know I don't always do the right things,
but sometimes you make the world feel right
and I feel like I am included.
Like everything shifts and falls into place
and I no longer need to want,
because there is nothing out of my reach.

Then you kissed me goodbye at my front door
and went home, a little late.
I bit my lip
walked up the stairs
fell into my chair,
and my brother walked in, saying,
"Do you know how fragile this world is?"

Don't tell me you love me
You love him
You loved me
So let's get this straight

Trust me when I say this
I'm over you
That doesn't change the fact that you're breaking an old promise
And what hurts is that it means nothing to you

And then you make it worse
You say you love me
And that "love doesn't end"
"Only relationships end"

You love someone new
But still love me supposedly
Love isn't fashion
People don't go out of style each season
And you love that old dress
But it's so last year
So you love this new blouse instead

Get a new hobby
You're no good at this love thing

It sits nearly weightless in your palm
Hold it like a bible
with the page already marked in your head that you want to share
Like that page contains the only truth that you know

The closest to a magic wand you will ever get to
The only spell your voice
Speak honest
While words are still meant for this
Your mouth a shotgun for my tracks

Now dance

Follow my lead
Pick up your phone
And call someone

Pick one

1
While you were still earth
And I was still earth
And the thought of us
Sounded like a 4 year old learning to whistle
We had no stake
Just a note in the background of breath and baby teeth
You make me so happy
Your parents ****** on the day they did
2
If you were to die in any way
I want you to know
I have already planned your eulogy
It is simple
My name is Jonathen Hal Tobias
And this empty case of skin and bone
Formerly housed
The best friend I have ever had in my life
3
Your belly is a blackened furnace
Full of soot and sawdust
It is love the way it keeps me warm
And I will leave my hands near it
The distance of a magic spell for fire
My skin
Until there is no more sawdust
Until there is no more love
Until I have to warm my hands with breath
And press them against your cold black
Do you feel that?

4
Whatever you say
Through satellite
Over airwaves

Know your voice passes through stars
And metal
And microchips
And speaker

There is tongue
And breath and lips
Your heart when you’re honest

When words were meant for this
And your mouth a shotgun for my tracks

Beginning to look at such things as
internships and career choices, influenced by
"best places to raise children" and "quality
school systems", by parks and sunny
afternoons and artist representation
firms

I only wonder when the frosting on your
lips will turn into berries from our
thoughtful garden
                                (surely life is picking up
speed and painting on layers, colorful
intricacies of present and future)