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Kaylana brown Apr 2014
There's something about the pain I feel that keeps me going, it lets me know I'm still here where I lost all conscience.
     I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.
   I feel the need for freedom, it's never the body, its's always the heart that needs freed. My ribs are the cage to my heart and im slowly breaking those ribs, one by one, not because my heart really wants freedom just because I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.
   Pain is what tells me I'm alive.
My soul is a shattered window that nobody can see through anymore.
     We do things to ourselves that are self destructive but keep others out, some we do because we enjoy it.
Pain is the reality we serve ourselves, some like it, some hate it, some look forward to their next dose of pain like a painkiller.
491 · Apr 2014
A best friend and a hero
Kaylana brown Apr 2014
The wind carries my fears on a whispered breeze.
       She's strong, a facade of happiness is my only saving grace.
She keeps on for the family she has, she hangs in thin air holding on to the edge of what she knows is all that's left.
    
     She clings onto her heart, the tension is forever.
  She knows if she lets up it will be ripped out.
     Watching life go by she wonders when her day will be,
if it will be, and by who.
   The ranks of society don't faze her,
she doesn't give a **** about the minds of others.
  
    Her family is her thread, and her friends are the needle, she uses those bonds to stitch herself up, but her ribs are broken. There's no glue.
   None of that matters, her heart is a stone that has been deteriorating for years. She comes this far only to survive more damage but she knows she can give in, she sees the value in life.
    
     Holding on to the attachment and joy she has she lives another days, another minute, another lifetime.
                      
                            

          She saves us all just by being alive and she doesn't know it.
444 · Apr 2014
A Friend or A Lover?
Kaylana brown Apr 2014
There were nightts where I'd sit in that window waiting for you to call, huddled under your hoodie because it was my safe haven. There were nights I'd stay up crying because I was too dumb to see you loved someone other than me.
   Things changed.
      I wasn't going to be a notch in your belt, I was more than that.
You told me I was worthless, you told me I was dumb, you told me I was stupid and I believed it all... Until he came along
                       A Friend Or A Lover?
My forever now just so happens to be your best friend, the man who was always there for me instead of you.
   A man, not a boy.
     There are nights where I lay snuggled up in his arms.
There are nights where I sit there with him and talk about our future, and he listens.
     The nights are't the same, life isn't the same.
    Love isn't the same.
It's better.
Love isn't the same after you find your soulmate, it's better.
360 · Apr 2014
The girl behind the mask
Kaylana brown Apr 2014
The girl behind the mask,
I let her in without conscious,
drunk under the fantasies of a better life.
   Soon the hooded fantasy becomes a second skin,
a curse,
a hate,
a hell raising fire.
   nothing can staunch the hatred,
the hatred life has dealt me with.
    I burn the bridges set up ,
I cut the ropes that bind me.
   They're convinced I'm an angel,
I've severed the wings that once were the mark of an angelic soul.
   Surrendering myself to something so uncouth not I can even bring my
heart back from.
My heart,
it's black,
bruised,
and broken.
    Once used as a toy, now it's a weapon against the heinous idiocy, the marks of society.
The ranks of beauty don't faze me.
                                             **** THEM ALL
                                  Beauty comes from the heart,
                         My heart is black.
                     Black beauty,
               Nothing more.
Everybody knows pain

— The End —