I’m too busy to feel sad
but then the weekend comes
and I’m surrounded by the people
who love me the most
and suddenly I am alone
with my thoughts
which are far too loud

To set the stage let’s set the table
Pan in on the family dinner scene
Add elevator music to the backdrop
Still more personal than conversations
Cue the pointed aroma of burned potatoes
And raw steaks that weren’t left out long enough to thaw
Yet somehow still warmer than the glares being cast behind water glasses
Please, join us
We invite you to take a look
At a family so close they don’t need to speak at all
Peer in through the window at the four figures basked in dim evening light
Aren’t they pretty?

I don’t know if my pull is magnetic,
or if I am glue and people just get caught up in the mess.

I used to like the fluffy
light
Cloud consistency
Of a single comforter
But now the layers of sheets
Appeal to me
All because
I like to feel the weight

Looking back
They said by now I’d have it figured out
Keep moving forward
I’m not sure if it’s the right direction
Because the angles of my feet differ from the gaze of my eyes
forcing my heart to bear the burden of tie breaker
Which is silly
Because my heart is a demagnetized compass and doesn’t know where to lead me

He doesn’t think I’m strong.
I could end it at that. My entire thought process boiled down to five words, but I’ll go on.
I have fears. I’m used to going it alone, and sometimes I back out just before I go too far. In any direction. But that choice is within my control, and I am empowered.
Yes, I am scared, but that doesn’t mean I will stop trying.

the same costume every year
who needs a better excuse to done a cape and feel heroic?
saves me beyond October 31st
doesn't depend on masks
a marvel to behold
an even better stronghold of security
she lets me in but holds fast to a double life