Its your big, ugly, monster of a character flaw
causing you to only focus on yourself.
You sick, self-centered broad
"I'm there for you, why do you refuse
to care an inkling about my needs?"
I'll tell you why,
Its because you absorb:
The prayers, moral support, compliments
from others
you take but never give
you consume but do nothing more
Aw, don't tell me you're put out!
Don't worry my dear little damsel
you simply lack the comprehension
your pretty little head isn't capable
of functioning at such a high caliber
think of this no more
I mean, after all,
How could anyone possibly cast blame unto you?

Don't get into that car I scream
But I am trapped on the opposite side
of plastic window panes
Don't take her away
she's barely sixteen
all alone this time
(God, I'm glad its not me)
Don't get into that car I whisper
to a black Toyota Camry
sitting in the street
waiting, just waiting
for its quarterly visit
Don't get into that car I exclaim
to a black and white bumper sticker
that says "read" in chunky (ironic) block letters
Don't get into that car I choke out
to the four wheeled death trap
that takes away my sister
on an eight hour journey
back to childhood misery
that I myself
have only just aged out of
Don't get into the car I say
to the exhaust that's left in my sister's
wake.
(knowing it will make no difference)

she's home for the holiday
and so am I
the difference is, however
that she came from some place
and
soon she's going somewhere new
Yeah, I made it out
but now that we're back
and nothing's even changed
she climbs a different mountain everyday
while I stumble down the same hill
I've been going at for years
so while she's cutting ribbons
I'm cutting class
(but not really, because I still care too much to do that)
metaphorically speaking.


Its like high school all over again.

pull close
push away
fingers slip
cling to cracks
hold on tight
hands on hands
break my knuckles
fighting back
filled with need
find release
letting go
and I'm free

I can't clasp your hand
For when I fall
I won't be able to catch myself
And I'm not trusting enough
To rely on your strength
To keep me upright
Not that I don't think you're capable
But I won't give you the chance.