my heart still aches in pain at the sound of your name
I feel the same way about you as I did when we first met
When I see you there is no girlish excitement
Just a torturous feeling of anxiety
Why did you ever leave me?
I'm mad at myself
for not fighting for us
I wish I had
but maybe it was for the best
maybe we're better off not together
I wish I could just forget about you
but there are some people who will never leave your mind
they say hope is grief's ultimate music
well I sing that sad song everyday
as time goes by I have come to face reality
it seems you have done the one thing that I've failed to do:
Move on

I don't know about you but I'm full of perfect imperfection
And that I'm not afraid to say
All of my being, every single section
Is beautifully built that way

This doesn't bring me down, it only gives me inspiration
To fulfill my destiny and try to be
Like the majestic horizon
Beaming like the sun for all to see

I have failed in the past and experienced defeat
And this I won't deny
But I've prevailed and got back up on my feet
I didn't stay down and cry

Despite of my previous mistakes, I deserve the best
Love, pleasure, care and attention
I will not tolerate any less
Just because of my imperfection

I look around in this dark dungeon
and the sweet music of death is playing
life walks by, stops and eyes me
Its silouhette giving me a last taste

wicked spirits invade my body and take me to a place
where regret and sorrow dwell
the angels in my mind scorn at the sight and leave
why are these spirits oppressing my thoughts?

swords and daggers lay on the ground
I tremble at the thought of never being free
Guilt is such a merciless monster
When will I ever have sweet serenity?

my soul begs for repentance
the demons fall at my feet and disappear
my angels return, glorifying
life gives me a second chance

The day I saw you there was something so enigmatic about you
I was mystified and intrigued at the same time
I mean you were interesting and I was curious
and it was the mere fact that your eyes told stories I wanted to hear

I wanted to more than know you
I wanted us to get lost in each other's minds
connecting on levels deeper than the depths of the ocean
in only ways we could understand

So I fell in love with you because you loved me
even when I couldn't love myself
I love you cause you love all the pieces of my soul, even the dark ones
I not only love the person you are
but the person you have the potential to be

So how do you know you're ready to love?
You don't. It just hits you like a wave you never see coming
but the water doesn't drown you
Instead you just breathe

Everyday you ask why I love you
You say
"Why do you you love me when I put you through Hell.
When I push you into your shell,
And I never give you a straight answer.
You say " Why do you love me when I can't love you back,
And when I have all these mood swings."
Well this is what I say.
I love you because you are like my Asthma.
I didn't chose to have you here with me all the time, but you are.
You are here to make my life harder,
But you also make me stronger.
When the voggy winds blow
And it gets hard to breathe
It is you falling.
Yet I pick that Inhaler of mine up
And I take two deep breaths,
and I lift you back up.
As my breaths become clearer.
I know that I will never be able to breathe as well as others.
Just as I know I will never fall out of love for you.
You are the chronic lung disease that forces me to try harder.
The person that makes me try my hardest when I'm singing up on that stage.
You motivate me.
It is you that is always on my mind
When I have to try hard to take breathes instead of just breathing.
When I am running and my lungs start to choke me, it is the pain I feel every time I see you with him instead of me.
Because Love
You are my lung disease.
You are the funny noise my breath makes when I dance,
Because the Oxygen doesn't want to go in.
And when you touch me I feel the buzzing sensation that I get when taking my albuterol.
The warmth of my Nebulizer as it vaporizes the medicine for me to breathe.
Every kiss you plant on my head, fills me with the dizziness that I get from my medication
When I try to stand up, I end up falling just as hard as I have for you.
You are the relief I feel when I take my
Meds on a bad day, you make me feel normal again.
That's why I love you.
That is why I don't care if you're with him instead of me.
Because you will always be with me.
Just like my lung disease.