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I can feel your presence,
I can feel your touch,
As I close my eyes to the darkness,
I can feel your warm breath softly brush,
It swathes my being,
It engulfs my soul,
Lost in an abyss of pleasure,
Desires of the flesh have taken control,
Nothing is sacred, nothing is taboo,
Lust is the power, the wisdom and the fool.
The woman poured herself another glass of wine,
Like another night alone.
The house was empty,
And the humming of the dishwasher bounced off the walls.
She sat by the window and pulled the black heels off her feet.
This was beginning to get old.
People outside paced in pairs.
Her house was dark.
The only light came from the kitchen,
glowing out to the adjacent ro0m.
She sipped at her wine, and rested the glass on her knee.
With an exasperated sigh,
She threw the wine glass against the opposite wall.
The glass flew, sparkling in the dim light
And merlot ran down the white wall.
She dusted off her hands, and undressed silently.
In the bathroom, she started water for a shower.
In silence, once again, she stood under the rush of water.
An hour's time went by, and the water was shut off.
Without bothering to dry herself, she stepped out,
And fell into bed.
skin polished
with oils, salt and husks
i gleam
with perfumed butters and musk
silken smooth flesh
like living warm honey
i languish
in the golden light of dusk
limbs naked
under silks and plush
i wait

i wait for you
When she turned her gaze upon me,
I was a mote of dust
caught in a beam of sunlight
I was huge and beautiful
and bright.

I laughed and danced
and shone.

And when she turned away,
a cloud moved across the sun
and I was extinguished.
i split the pill like
it was the *******
atom or something.

i was about to scrape
the dust off of the counter
into my hands, to preserve
what i knew as pure,
to save it for when i needed
to remind myself i was
still there.

the doctor who gave them
to me wasn't really a doctor,
but there was this guy in the place
that would agree with everything
that she said.

and maybe i wanted to believe,
too.

it is so much easier to be
a cynic when you have a
diagnosis to back it up. it
is so much easier to make
them feel guilty when you
say words like "clinical
depression."

i could always chalk it up to
"i just haven't taken my meds."

i was splitting the atom
and i was remembering
my excuses and how i
wouldn't be needing them
anymore, how it might be
awhile before i can imagine
something else so brilliant.
I loved you,
I lived you,
I laughed with you,
I changed with you,
I cried about you,
I lied about you,
I danced with you,
I smiled with you,
I tried with you,
Until that faithful day,
when I died with you.

So my dear as I sit and remember,
you feel all so near,
All those days when I thought I’d have you forever,
make me feel like I wasn’t very clever,
I miss you more and more,
Although thinking about you I never bore,
With all those times we shared,
and oh how you cared,
Many nights alone I spend thinking about the depths of your eyes,
wishing and hoping that my love for you never dies.
May
No silver lining to this cloud
gray, even more so damp.
Pouring down on my soul as I just lay
I lay here and cry as the rain hides my pain.
Getting sick is no concern, but my heart aches and cramps.

I long for her eyes, so bright and aware of my innermost secrets.
Now I sit, for her return to my arms wide open.
One more bottle to open, she will arrive.
To wipe these tears from my eyes.
Those beautiful lips and beaming smile, it drives me wild.

From above I hear our song, and I sing along.
She is no where near me, rather so very far away.
Hiding away, waiting for me to join her, maybe I will someday.
Six feet beneath the dirt she sleeps in silence.
I feel her here, next to me. My darling, my sweet, my wife May.
I fear the way you love me:
That tender-touching kiss
Seducing me to nightly
Sink deep in your abyss.

Those smooth caresses take me
To places that I dread,
Your cunning fingers rouse me
To plan such lies ahead.

But while we writhe and tumble
In lust's hypnotic hold,
I fear the final stumble
That will see the truth unfold.
© Marcus Lane 2010
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