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Dec 2012 · 391
Another pain full day
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
BOOM**
The sound of my heart erupting
And pooling around my feet
CRACK
The sound of my heart breaking
And me dying a little more
Am I a monster?
Dec 2012 · 329
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
In the end he sat facing a gun
He was scared of the end nearing to come
All the things he'd said that he had done
His war had been won
There was no victory in the end
There was no vulnerable princess to defend
Just a body wrapped up In a blanket
In the ocean is where he sank it
He shook and cried he lost control
The anger had ruled and taken a toll
And now he sat with his head in his hands
Not knowing where he would stand
At the end of the gun receiving?
Or pulling the trigger relieving?
Dec 2012 · 629
Cliff hanger
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Silently she hung her head
And drifted loaftly off to bed
Sadly she laid her head down
Her face was frozen masked by a frown
Her heart had grown dreary from the cold days
And her love kicked out there was no room to stay
She often stood about a cliff
As she listened to the ocean drift
She heard if happiness lying there
As she stared into the waters glare
Not every story ends with love
Not ever story releases doves
Her story was met with an ending of life
Consumed by pain and swallowed by strife
Dec 2012 · 357
No love left
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I've been waiting for you
You were halfway in my hand
Until she wanted you too
And you ventured to her land

And you thought you fell in love
And left me wasted at the end
And you that she was your love
Until you found it was pretend

Then you called me up with fake apologies
And you thought I'd take you back
I thought your were a disease
And I know this for a fact

I was through even though my heart broke
I was done though I wanted to cry
And when I turned around I chocked
And I thought I wanted to die

But your memories are gone
In the box in my head
When I said so long
And my love was truly dead
Dec 2012 · 334
House of forgotten love
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
This house was built of love
Every brick every stone
The top could touch the skies above
And there I wasn't alone

Until your hate broke it down
I thought we had it all
Until the bricks lie on the ground
And I watched the house fall

I just sat with our loves remains
Laying in my arms
The hurt and pain that left a stain
Left scars of harm

Perhaps I fooled myself with this
It was to much to believe
That thoughtful night, that one last kiss
It was easy to deceive

So now I'm homeless I walk alone
The shadows take me in
I wait for life on my own
Mournfully to begin
Dec 2012 · 806
Spirit wolf
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Sleep is growing harder
Always the forest
Spirt tell me what you need to
I want to sleep again
It's been years since it happened for the first time
The dream had replayed ever night
The stables were on fire
They pounded after me
I was scared
Running from the snarls
And snapping of teeth
I ran into the flame swallowed stall
But I wasn't afraid
They engulfed me
And the sad eyes of a wolf
Looked at me from the other side of
The stable
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
It always
Ended in those words
I was scared to understand those words
But now years later
I run the forest through
Searching
Always searching
Until I can find them
The trees all bow to the ground
I was home
I could run freely with them
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
These words haunt me
As the wolves eyes burn me
I decide I will name the him spirt wolf
Sprit wolf take me home
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
      By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
      That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
      But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
      I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
"It's the cursèd cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'tain't being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; ... then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
      By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
      That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
      But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
      I cremated Sam McGee.
Dec 2012 · 645
Cremate my heart
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
My bones are bones
My flesh will rot
My soul will fly
But I will not
My heart will beat
Beneath the earth
When time defeats
And the universe begins rebirth
I will lay
Eyes rested
Doomsday
Moon crested
Cremate my heart
I rather not be cold
I've broken many apart
Being cold
Many nights of sin
Empty bottles of gin
Broken chairs
And glass
Litter the floor
But sealed shut is my door
I'm so...
Dead
Dec 2012 · 744
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
The school halls where plagued
I could feel there eyes
Pointed stares
I could feel it all before it happened
Pushed to the ground
Beaten to blood
Threatened
Cut down to size
Under attack
Try to shield my face
But I'm to weak
I must deserve this
I must have done something wrong
A busted lip
But no one asks
No one helps
Class is done
School bell rung
Now the bus ride home
Dreaded because I know they'll be there
I get on early
To sit in the front
Maybe then they won't get me
But there words hit me
Just as hard
Ugly
Fat
****
Dumb
*****
I break and I break
But today I reached the last shard
Home alone I cry
Sobbing
I was dead before I did it
I was already gone
I had been for months
I just hadn't left yet
I wrote the note my mom
To my brother
To my friends
It wasn't there fault
I wrote one to the bullies
I apologized for whatever I did
To make them hate me
I apologized and told them that I would just
Make their life better
Once I finished I went to the bathroom
Looked in the mirror
My eyes were sad
I pushed up my sleeves and revealed the scars
They were there like a tattoo to remind me
That I'm nothing
That I'm better off gone
I open the cabinet
I select the pills randomly
God won't have room in heaven for me
Not if they didn't have room for me here
I take them all
I cry
I swallow them
With a thick throat
I'm scared but I don't stop
I can't remember who I used to be
Who my friends used to be
They wanted me dead
They needed me gone to
They just couldn't say it
I felt the numbness sweep over me
And slowly I'm dust in the wind
Leaves falling from a deciduous tree
I'm dying
No more crying
Maybe peace
I see a lot of people being bullied, and I try to help them all because no one should have to feel put down, I do not support bullying
Dec 2012 · 405
No Room for Shame
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
He was a demon
But I was drawn
He was evil
But I still watched him
He moved with grace
And his eyes were green
He was mysterious
So pristine
I could see his soul
masked in shadows
But it never stopped me
No room for shame
No room for tame
A lion crazed
Can't help myself
My fingers yearn to touch
No room to think
No room for room
I was closed in
I was scared
But it never stopped me
From claiming his heart as my own
Deep in the abyss of his soul
Was a light
Pain and fear had made him
So chained
So pained
I unbound him from his fate
Loved where there was hate
No room for shame
When you claim
His heart
Dec 2012 · 847
I am not afraid of death
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I am not afraid of death
It's peaceful like the trees
I am not afraid of death
It can consume me
Lips locked around my viens
**** away my life
Bids away all the pain
Bids away my strife
Tonight I close my eyes
And dream of the afterlife
Tonight I lay to die
And softly say goodnight
Dec 2012 · 380
The Emperor is Here
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
All that has spilt
The worlds at a tilt
Breath taking beauty
Eyes summon truly
Take my hand
Ill guide you through this land
Don't fall off the ledge
We live on the edge
Earth shaking memory
Life hurts temporarily
Don't fall for its tricks
The pain won't stick

All bow down! The emperor is here  
All bow down! And silence midnight cheer

Tall and striking power
From atop of thy tower
Lift it before it falls
Lift it before it falls
Shadows left clearly
On the night time walls
My eyes grow dreary
As my chamber softly calls

All bow down! The emperor is here
All bow down! Silence midnight cheer

The wind it slowly whistles, a soft and gentle tune
I know the castle will fall, so very soon
And we all must follow through with the lie
That if our castle falls, we will all die

All bow down! The emperor is here
All bow down! Silence midnight cheer
Dec 2012 · 507
Ashes
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Ashes falling from the sky
Fight we do, our soldiers die
Their families hurt and cry
Release they're souls and let them fly

Damnation settles on us
We cannot fight we will not fuss
We are forbade to endulge in lust
we always seem to lose our trust

We stand and pledge to a flag
But the words repeated seem to drag
Unwillingly my heart sags
Death and I playing tag

In the end I had to fall
I fell to save them all
The jump was high, so tall
The angles sang I heard them call

Cages built of bones
House built of stone
In the firey world I was alone
All my sins , I'd been condone

But death wasn't scary
                             Anymore
Dec 2012 · 1.1k
Famine
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Prayer sometimes isn't enough
Ground and battered
The days grow rough
They rip our wings
from our backs
Forbidden to sing
Finding no sun, the days lack
Death snuck up behind the child
Decaying and rotting while still alive
Hungers fingers taunt and tease
Their home was plagued by disease
Skeletons roamed the grounds
Crying children all around
Drink from the hands of TheMother
But it poisons their small bodies
Big eyes stained by famine
Stare into mine
Oh sweet child
So carefully pick her up
I knew she was dying
And I fought back crying
I held her in my arms
This life was only harm
We lived in hell
Dying in the arms of Mother Nature
Will we survive?
Or will we die
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Alone the room spun
The days war had been won
And though I wished to shed my tears
A princess may never show proof of her fears

Many times I've blundered
Beneath storms thunder
But I'd give my life to the kingdom
To regain their freedom

My arms tied, I'd given up love
My eyes closed, I gave my heart a shove
But a trickster popped in
And gave my world a spin

It was a triangle of death, the valley of hell
Because to which one I loved I couldn't tell
My heart belonged in the hands of a friend
We'd soon be wed, though our love was pretend

The queen would soon lose her throne
And I'd remain , all alone
With a crown to rule upon my head
My mother... Would be dead

Her powers killed her slowly she was thirty nine
Lucky that wouldn't happen with mine
Scolded by the glares of my kin
I wondered when the peace would begin
I wrote this poem after reading two books in a series the first called switched and the second called torn by Amanda Hocking, I love this series so far and I can't wait to read the third book, I definitely recommend the series
Dec 2012 · 309
What's another tear?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
What's another tear
Shedding my pain and fear
What's another sigh
My heart learning to die

What's another crack
Just add another shard to the stack
My nearly broken heart
Simply falling apart

What's another road
Follow as I'm told
What's another stain
Just signifys my pain

What's another scar
Just shows who you are
What's another day
Where you refuses to stay

What's another fight
Just like every night
What's another tear
Shedding my pain and fear
Dec 2012 · 571
Lost, no way home
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Flawless was the sky
Stained by blood
A rise in the war fields
A smile among hate

A child born of darkness
But eyes of innocence

Pulled closer to the pain
I was wrapped in my own cocoon
So beaten on the inside
Soul ridden

Twinkling light held above my head
Cry blood

Sticks scrape my skin
Rocks break my bone
Words slice my neck

One scream to echo

No one can feel my pain
I must bare it alone
Carting this weight on my back
I mustn't fall

No wings to beat
No way of escape
I hang my head mournfully

String to bow
My song plays
But my soul
Lost its
Way
Home
Dec 2012 · 715
Have we all lost faith?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
What happened to the 'I love you's'
To the family hugs?
To the we will be the safe place?
It seems like we're all seperating
Though we are so close
No not emotionally
Just physically
Emotion seemes to have fled
Even though we had pledged
To stay together
She's there
He's here
No love found in the middle of the table
We don't say grace this time
Have we all lost faith?
Has hope disappeared ?
I wish I could just rewind
Before all the bad things happened
But in life there's lessons
The severity of the lesson
Depends on our reactions
Dec 2012 · 341
Free fall
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Snow fall
Trees tall
Sigh and smile at them all
Sky high
Big sigh
I wish I had the courage to fall
From the sky
Arms spread
Cloud bed
And dive
I am alive
So alive
I risk it everyday
Just to say
That I am human
Dec 2012 · 2.9k
Forbidden fruit
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Oh love
You bloom in my garden
A forbidden fruit
Should I take the bite?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I am not the same
No, even though my name
Remains

I still look alike
But I changed

My eyes are a bit trusting
My heart I've been dusting
And maybe ill open my arms

Am I the same child?
Oh no I'm no child
Not anymore

I've walked a long road
Did most of what I was told
And stood out so bold

Took flight in the sky
This love ill try
Please... Don't hurt me

Could I just be damaged ?
Could I be savaged ?
All these years I've managed
To salvage the day

Ill pick up the ruins
Tour the tombs
And leave knowing
My hearts in place
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Oh the sky's were weary
Storming like the sky was crying
The day was dreary
The trees were dying

It was a sort of deathly day
The streets smelt of tears
The crowds crowded in the streets
Blocked the way

There was no birds in the sky
There was no sign of sun
The gods had cursed us I don't know why
But something had to be done

Whether I had to crossed the seas
Or swim the firey lakes
Or whether the answer would come to me
Or I had to fight to take

I would save my dying kin
Because I would give them my life
I rather put my soul out
And admit that I had sinned

I rather lay bare before my god
Then let them all be slayed
I rather bathe myself in guilt
Then live while they decayed

I raise my gauntlet to the sky
While the gods cry
I hope tonight won't be the last
But if it is for them I will die
Nov 2012 · 1.1k
Haiku, Sinner Sinner
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Sinners don't look back
Everyday we fall from grace
We are all sinners
Nov 2012 · 765
Moonlights starry eyes
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Starry night
Stars in sight
Beneath the moon light
Eyes watery with forlorn sadness
Mirrors in the water
The small lake before me
Not quite still
My sad eyes
The key to my soul
I'm looking deep into them
What cause this pain
That has burried itself inside of me
Lowered head my brown hair curtains my face
It makes it a bit easier to look at my reflection
But whenever I dare the look
I feel angry
I hit the water with all my might!
But the water simply sloshes
Then settles back into is not quite still state
I feel like screaming
But I don't understand what's wrong
I only know that I feel disgusted with myself
I just wish that I could wash it all away
Wash away the pain the regret
My mistakes my flaws
My tears
My blood
I just want to restart
A new beginning
But my story has yet to end
I stand before the lake
And glance at the sky
Before I step into the cool water
And before I know it I'm summerged
I scream everything out
Until I run out of air
I kick to the surface
And take a deep breath
My throat already felt sore
But I could still feel the nagging anger
So I summerged myselfr again
And scream
Scream raw
Angry
Hurt
Ugly
Stupid
Not enough
So I scream more
Scream worthless
Failure
I scream until I choke
I scream until I begin to cry
Until I'm lifeless
I just lay thee out of energy
On the bank
Of the lake
Beneath the moon
And her starry eyes
I lay there and I just wish
It were all different
That I was better
That I was more
Nov 2012 · 1.2k
Viola
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Sweet cherry wood
Clean strings
The bow was so light
My soul was joyful
I could feel the passion welling
Inside me
I lay the bow against the string
And draw out a long sighful note
And then I jump into a series of slurrs
Rocking to the sound
I'm being swept away
Enveloped on the arms of the sound
So sweet and melodic
I was being drowned in the music
My arm was pumping the strings
Drawing every inch of beauty from it
I close my eyes and lose myself
To the song
To the beat
My heart beating fast
Racing with the strokes of my bow
Until I come to a crescendo
And then end my song mournfully
Ah, I love the viola I've played for 4 years and I absolutely adore it :)
Nov 2012 · 907
Ice castles
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Cold beauty
Sing to me
Frosted breath
My lungs carry notes above the mountains
Hold me while we lay  in this bed of snow
Keep me warm so I know
That you will never let me go
In this ice castle we sit
Upon our throne
You the king
And I your queen
We have no gold
No maids to cater to us
No authority over a court
We simply build up riches of love
Your and mine
And combined
We could own the world
Bring forth the wine
Sliding on ice floors
Open doors
Windows high
Believe to touch the sky
Sing a lullaby
Don't let me go
I've suffered enough
My life has been tough
Just keep me warm
And show me love
That would be enough
And my heart would be yours
This is forsure
My king
My king
In this ice castle
My dreams will come true
Without a wish upon a star
Without a wish tossed down a well
You are mine
And I am yours
Because in love
I fell
Nov 2012 · 687
Horse, riding the wind
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Hooves to the earth
Wind in my face
Under the sun
Faster must go faster
As an eagle screeches above my head
It reminds me
I'm free...
The plains stretch out before me
Mine for the taking
A kick up my legs
In joy
Nothing had felt so good
As the bare pleasure of running
Running free
Racing the eagle above me
I could hear another's soft breath
It was her
My partner
She whines in my ear
As we gallop a head
Fighting the winds force
We broke through
And raced faster
Until it felt like we had wings
To lift us from our feet
To soar above the land
And dance in the skies
I love horses :) they take my breath away with how beautiful and sweet they can be.
Nov 2012 · 763
Voices in a madman
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I'm here they yell
Constantly yelling
It's the voices shouting
Shouting I say!
Always telling me that they're there
I only want the quite
I only need to sleep
But the voices screaming
Screaming I say!
They won't stop
I must be out of my mind
A madman I say!
They're always telling me
At the edge of the bridge
There you will find the cure
Why?
I don't want to go
I'm scared
Scared I say!
They might pull me over
Into the dark
Where I can't move
Where I'm bound
But they are screeching
Screeching I say!
They won't stop
They're pulling me from sleeps clutches
I'm going insane!
Insomnia is setting in
What's real?
Are these doors real?
Or when I open them will they pop out
Yelling at me
To go to the bridge
Where it all started
The rooms spinning
Spinning I say!
And I'm crashing
Crashing to the floor
The voices are raving
Raving I say!
Make them stop
Please I'm losing grip
Curses to those ungodly voices
Roaring in my head
Beating at my skull
Fleeting in my head
You'd think I was dead
But no the dark has no mind
To save me the ache of those voices
Trembling like a shaky note
Sang from a crones lips
This madness is setting in
It's been let in
The rest can go to hell
Nov 2012 · 255
The rambling mind
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
The world is gray
In my eyes
I'm slow moving
I'm sad
I'm tired
I only wish to sleep
I rather not talk
About my feelings
Though my mother tries
I rather just tuck them away
I wonder often if the past
Has soiled me
Made me... Crazy?
I'm question everything I do
Everything I say
I want to cry it all out
But I find my eyes dry
I used to be vibrant
Ready for the challenges
Now I rather not bother
I'm living life by a routine
Nothing interests me anymore
Sometimes I think about dying
I don't know why
It just slips into my mind
And I think how easy it would be
But I won't  
No I love my mom to much
I could never think to hurt her
But it scares me to know
That there in the back of my mind
Is the thought
Just had to put all these thoughts somewhere , not much if a poem though
Nov 2012 · 797
Just another love song
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
At the tip of my fingers
I wipe away your tears
Your pain lingers
It has for years
Always scared to close your eyes
Against the dark
But tonight ill be your guide
So follow me

Take my hand and place it to your chest
Warm beating heart
Beneath the moons crest
You said I love you
I said I did too
I just pray you won't hurt me
Because ill die if you do
Call me your love
Sing of the doves
A song about forever
A happy ever after
Just don't break my heart

You whisper in my ear
Sing to me my lyrics
Ever syllable I'd love to hear
Your magical in my eyes
Don't you realize

Take my hand and place it to your chest
Warm beating heart
Beneath the moons crest
You said I love you
I said I did to
I just pray you won't hurt me
Because I'll die if you do
Call me your love
Sing of the doves
A song about forever
A happy ever after
Just don't break my heart

And even if you leave
Off to fight in war
Ill wait for you to come home
And sing to me once more
Your life is in my soul
And your body left my hands
Your my soldier you must know
And you fight for our lands!
Just I song I wrote not the best but thought I might as well put it up
Nov 2012 · 529
Monsters in closets
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
They library was hushed
The faceless man
Across the table
Quite
He tells me
Stay silent
You wouldn't want your mommy to hear
Would you?
So naive
A child could be
I close the book
My attention caught by the closet
Small footsteps
Cautiously taken
Afraid to be caught
Palm on the door ****
I open it
Inside lies a beast
I'm petrified
Scared to blink
But the beast slumbers
On a burning photo
What are you doing!
The faceless man yells
And now I'm terrified
He's been awaken
The beast won't let me go
I've made him angry now
Only my screams echoing
Through the quite library
To keep me company
A reoccurring dream I've had since I was a child
Nov 2012 · 588
If I could die
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Falling from the sky
Like a bird ready to die
Hit in the wing
As heavens choir sings
Fluttering
A bit of life
To stroke my ridged heart
I'm falling
As reality crumbles
Through the hands of the creator
Pulling me through the vortex
Swirling
Twirling
It's dark
And I can feel me slipping
I'm not me
I'm not anyone
Just ...
Existing
Tell the last breath has been drawn
Then flung
Flung into an alternate universe
My being of before
Swept away
Born from what had been
And has been forgotten
If I could die
Burried beneath the earth
I would die
But my soul is immortal
A wound a simple wound
Fatal dose not exist
Fatality is not a factor
Simply erasing the chalk
On the board
Nov 2012 · 1.5k
Majestic lights
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
There in the sky was a flashing light
Majestic to the eye
It was a beautiful sight

Sailing across the moons aura
Dipping past the sun
It was a sight to be seen
Though it was seen by none

Not a soul but mine
Had seen the proof
Not a soul but mine
New the truth

Around Saturns ring
And into the stars *****
The light would sing
Into my ear  

It was my secret to bare
It was my breath is save
It was under moonlights glare
That I'd take it to the grave

And to this day
I still don't know
That lights name
Or why it came
Nov 2012 · 497
On top of towers
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Built up from the ground
I was here
Planted the first seed
To the master piece
Tucked away my pride
And came out of hiding
To grasp the hands of the man
Who sat against the wall
Not one to beg
Only watching
With a blank face
I couldn't help but to take his hands in my own
And lead him to his savior
Fed him tell he was full
Bathed him until he was clean
Taught him until he knew
His eyes where wise and kind
Reminded me of mine
I was young
So young
They told me I was naive
To let in a man poor
Said that he would take all that I had
But I had little
And it could be replaced
I knew he would never
His eyes told me so
His smile so shy
He had been set in my path
An angel for me to nurture
Because I woke in the morning
And he was gone
All that had been left
Was a crisp white feather
And a note that told me
He'd returned to his tower
Where he stood a top
To feel the winds power
I was not bitter
I had given all I had
For one that had less
And in return I had an angels eye
To watch over me
Nov 2012 · 829
Let me forget you...
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
It was under the warmth of the sun
That the first tear fell
It was the beginning of "done"
And the opening of my hell

You had broken my soft trusting heart
Crashed into my wall
You pulled me apart
And made me fall

I want to forget your eyes
That haunt me now
I want to forget the lies
But I don't know how

After every chance I gave
You wasted each one
After each path I paved
You hit me where it stung

And now I'm crying to myself
Because you called again
It's not good for my health
You aren't now, you weren't then

I wipe your face from my dreams
I want to escape
It's harder than it seems
It's like your on tape

Replayed in my head
And when I tried to press rewind
I pressed play instead

Won't you just let me forget you?
Your tearing me down
I'm pushing through
This unbearable crowd

Watching me sail across the sea
Sinking into the waves
Watching the sky fall on me
As my world caves

You won't think to reach in
I can see your back as you walk away
It's this breaking with In
That told me you'd never stay

Pushed farther beneath the current
I'm fencing with the shards of my heart
This times different
I was broken from the start

Just let me forget you
I'm better off that way
If I do
And you don't stay
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
My heart trembles
As I stand above the air
Floating
Soaring
No words to describe the impossible
The sun in my reach
The moon lays hidden
But I can feel it
A wingless bird
Flying higher than the rest
My dreams in pursuit
So close to my fingertips
So tangible
I'm breathing in the possible
That line that had been drawn
Was being crossed
All my hope regained
That had been lost
Encircled in the clouds
Smelled of opportunity
Nov 2012 · 510
Cliff diving in hell
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Poisoned by the thoughts
Dark and cold
All the things I'm not
All the things I'm told
To be
To see
It's as though the room is spinning
And the devils laughing at me
The darkness is winning
Sickening my mind
I used to be alive
I used to be kind
Until I fell pray to the voices
Telling me to fall
Gave me no choice
I made the final call
Standing at the top of the cliff
Looking down
I can feel the storm
The wind once cold
Was now warm
Like arms pulling me from the edge
It was to late
I was already dead
The ocean air pulled me down
The trip was long
I could feel the arms all around
I knew this was wrong
Nov 2012 · 554
Dusty piano
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
The door was locked
I knew the key was in the old clock
Twist the key
And push the door open
There was the black beauty
Each footsteps like a note
Lift my fingers to white and black keys
Push away the dust
I sit before her
And let my fingers lead me
Each note takes away the pain
Drains it from my veins
I fall in love with the melody
Filling the room
Filling my soul
Taking my tears
Making me whole
Uncovering me
Letting me show
But I'm not embarrassed
I revel in it
Breath it in
Drink in the light
Let the happiness fill me
To my bones
And come to an end
Breathing heavy
I lean my head against her soft black paint
Then leave
Glancing over my shoulder
Before I shut the door
And lock it
Nov 2012 · 861
I rather be alone
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Last night I talked to you
It's been almost a year
And to hear your voice...
Tears me up inside
I want to ask to see you
But if I do
I won't be able to let you go
I was crying ..
But I covered up my sobs
Tried to laugh
But I can't stop the pain
That leaks through
You ask if I'm ok
I just say
I've got a cold
When you say goodbye
I feel a part of me die
And realesed it
Through my sigh
Curl up one my bed
And cling to my head
I might just explode
Crumbling like old stone
My heart has no insurance
It was just a loan
That's why I know
I'm better off alone
Nov 2012 · 527
Lonely
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I'm not desperate for the touch...
I'm desperate for the love
For the embrace
Instead I'm alone
With myself
Lonely
Sometimes I cry
And I feel pathetic
To cry over such unimportant things
Yet they effect me
I miss the warmth
My blood has gone cold
But I'm so scared
My heart is so bruised
Scarred and patched
I don't think it could ever endure
Anther heart break
But I just want to be held
I want to love as much as be loved
But before I can open my heart to another
I have to come to love myself
To trust myself
My lonely days will go on
For now
Until I can love
Without tears
Without heartache
Those are the days I look forward to
Nov 2012 · 901
Snowfalls
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Stars around a bright moon
The bite in the air tells me
Winters here..
The old friend I miss on summer days
The forget when I'm lacking sun rays
The pure white of the snow
Sings to me
I remember ...
The swing set
All the kids laughing
But I just swing to my heart beat
Back then forth
Cold wind splashing my face
Thinking thinking
Always thinking
Even as I grew older
I was stuck in my own mind
With simply my thoughts
Always thinking
Always analyzing
And though it is a gift
It is also a curse
Haunting me
Making me see things I rather not see
Making me believe
Does happiness make knowledge ?
One could never say
Because for something's
I'd rather not see
I'd rather not believe
I'd rather not know
Could darkness leave room to smile?
Or would I just be blinded and lost?
Or is the light the right place to be?
I can't know the answer!
I've spent night day
Day and night
Thinking , analyzing, searching!
For some piece of evidence
But none exist for my eyes too look upon
Heartless with a mind!
Or mindless with a heart?
I could never say
It quarrels  with me  
I get within
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
My heart like dry wall
Vandalized by you venom paint
Cover the bruises

Only you don't leave
When you tell me you are through
What else must you take?

I have grown weary
Of being pried by your hands
Every single day

Please just leave me now
My ill beating heart can bare
No more of your tricks
Nov 2012 · 531
Dreams of forests and claws
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I am aware that I am scared
But I don't know where I am
I'm just wandering there
In the dark of the forest
So large and open
So.... Quite
But something tugs at me
Telling me that I should go
But I can't will myself to turn back ...
Not yet
What is it I'm looking for?
I don't know
I can only feel my beating heart
Hear the snapping of twigs
And debris under my bare
And dirtied feet
I can feel
That I'm being watched....
Maybe even ... Studied?
I'm not sure
Only that I am growing
Terribly anxious
Like something will go wrong
But even as I think the words
I feel the claws break
Into my flesh
I let out a scream
The white hot pain
Searing through my back
Leaves me nauseous  
And so vulnerable
All I can bare to do
Is bring my quaking legs to my chest
Rest my head on the forest floor
And lay in the shredded aftermath
Of shock
Nov 2012 · 534
When I cry
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Yes I'm alone when I cry
Yes I always hold it inside
And yes I wish I could hide
Because all your words killed me
and now I have died

Breath it in
Reflect on my sins
Let me reach inside my soul
Tell me what you find
I don't know

Call my name
I'm not ashamed
Hold me tight
Just for tonight
I won't be shy
Just ask me why
I cry

I can walk in the dark
I always have
I can find peace  In this house
Of nightmares
And ****** screams of scare
Holding onto the slivers
Of reality that remain mine for now
I can't let go
If I do
I will be in the dark simply
Wandering
No meaning
Just another lost soul
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
The cordior is silent
Not a scream to echo off the bare walls
Wet dripping feet
Hang , body suspended in the air
I'm observing
From outside the room
Shivering and scared
But stuck there
The room is dark
And there in the middle if the room
Lies a bed
Straps on the side
A door slams behind me
Who's there?
Oh love
Oh love
I see you there
A shiny flower
In your hair
I hear these words sung
Echoing through the now black
Halls
Terrified tears concur my eyes
Don't let it be real
Oh love
Oh love
I see you there
A shiny flower
In your hair
Closer now I begin to panick
Please let me awaken this nightmare
Memories unwanted
Soaked in terror
His face painted on the walls
In my mind
These words haunt me ....
Even in my sleep
Oh love
Oh love
I see you there
A shiny flower
In your hair
I'm ****** from my feet
Pushed to the bed
Strapped
I scream
Please let me go
Please!
I'm choking on my tears
I'm so scared
I can taste the ***** in my mouth
Let me awaken
Let me awaken
Yet another disturbing nightmare that leaves me troubled
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Born without the gift of intellect
Not a choice, not something to predict
Wishing that he could just be smart
Never knowing it would tear him apart
Never knowing a woman's soft embrace
Cannot remember his family's face
Just a boy without grace
Was he happy? Or was he misplaced?
But then he was fed by the gift of science
Never knowing it was a deadly alliance
Sacrificed his only life
To lay beneath the operations knife
Smarter and smarter Charlie became
A young at mind a foolish boy without a name
Thought a brain to see the world would give him rest
Until he realized normal life wasn't the best
The cold face of his memories shielded by glass
Broken and shattered they began to crash
Charlie soon met despair and desire
But was this his experience to acquire?
Charlie learned that with science came flaw
Yes beneath it, they never saw
Charlie would be back to himself
Just a boy trapped in a man
A secret, not meant to tell
This poem was based off the book flowers for algernon by Daniel Keyes I definitely recommend it  to anyone looking for an amazing read
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Falling from the open
Sky
Sinking, sinking
Takes away my breath
As if I had any left
Ships sailing, stay afloat
On top of my tears
An ocean filled
Below the surface
Lay diamonds
Burried in the sand
And all my dreams
That couldn't swim
Are spit back up on land
The winds bellow a
Gruff howl
Sinking, sinking
Enveloped by the waters
Caress
Soft
       Gentle
             Careful
Beautiful sunshine
      Smiling above
Hello
                         Goodbye
They swam off into the sea
Nov 2012 · 668
Someday I'll be there
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
A new face
You make me wonder
You make me laugh
From across the rows
Of desks
I feel your gaze
Bite my lip
To stay still
You watch me with courios eyes
But when I turn my head
Your gaze shifts off
How you make me want to
Just grab your hand
And place it above my beating heart
To feel your warmth
Leaking through my skin
To gaze into your eyes
To run my fingers through your silk hair
To feel you there
Just to breath
In your scent
Drink you in
Never releasing you
But I only smile shyly
And watch the ground while I walk past you
Someday
Maybe
I'll grow the courage
Nov 2012 · 1.1k
Just stop
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Must I say it out right?
Must I yell it in your ear?
Do you not see me pushing you away?
Your not who you used to be
Your bit the same guy who made me
Happy!
I hate you now,
You ruined my memories
You scarred me once
I thought it would pass
Scarred me twice
I leaned away
But now it's three times
Just leave me alone
It isn't attractive for you
To show up uninvited
It isn't attractive for you to persist
Until I want to bang my head against a wall
I don't like the way you've become
I don't like how you push me to do the same
I am not your friend
This friendship , past relationship
Has ended
Stop calling
Stop texting
Leave me Alone
I don't want to go back to the days
When I was a ***** up
When I just didn't care
When I didn't use my brain
When I made bad decisions
I'm just done
With you
I've gave you chances
And you failed each time
I'm done giving up my energy
For someone who doesn't care
About *me
Nov 2012 · 327
The eye 's
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Darkness
Filled by eyes
Watching
Every move
Every step
They hide in the back of my mind
They eat me slowly
Dragging my torture on
So I won't forget they're there
How could I
When they won't leave me alone
I'm prisoned
By their glares
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